Chaos always accompanies change; it is only a matter of to which degree. Accepting that chaos will always be present actually makes it easier to bear. These seven questions can help you pivot when life throws you a curve ball:
When is it time to walk away?
(That's a tough one, alright)
We make commitments & compromises, invest in projects, entertain hopes & dreams, and then ... well, life happens. It's always a little chaotic, and sometimes it's just plain bad.
It's hard to choose: persist or desist?
Decisions that feed the soul honour our deepest #values.
What matters to you?
▪ creativity?
▪ how we treat one another?
▪ health?
▪ meaning?
▪ the environment?
▪ family?
▪ fun?
▪ what else?
The best way is to try it! Many coaches offer a complimentary "chemistry" session, so you can get to know each other and see how they work. But check that it includes not just chat, but also coaching!
I've been very pleased with the live, online courses at CoachesRising. Now there's a new one!
Transforming Teams — a team coaching program that will take you right to the essence of how humans relate, giving you a powerful system to alchemize team tensions into innovation and effectiveness.
I help people find out what they love, and then how to get more of that. So I'd be remiss if I didn't tell you:
Ilovemy job.
I love helping people find satisfaction + joy in the everyday lives they lead. I love the Aha! of new perspectives, and the times I can invite: "Be yourself. You are delightful, just being you. Let's find out how to make that work!"
Twice a month, I run my popular Personal Values workshop on a pay-what-you-like basis, because our most uncertain moments can also be times of financial hardship.
Do not despair.
Watch for the chance to make your next small, hopeful move.
Each time a man✢ stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.
-- Robert Kennedy
Bring to mind a time when you felt so right: fully alive, truly yourself. (If you cannot remember such a time, imagine one in the future, in detail).
Breathe and remember ...
Really: before you sleep tonight, spend a minute, or 5, in this place. Give your nervous system a healing break from the non-stop crises we're subjected to.
These past 3 years, I've made some difficult choices. The hardest ones are always important choices between things that are both good -- or both bad.
But: when I clearly lay out what I value, the decision-making is easier.
I learned as a coach: when choices align with what matters to me I sleep well, I don't second-guess myself. (I used to be a worrier! It's astonishing, now that I think about it)
@woo thinking about: "values are very often relative" …
I've observed that core values tend to be stable over time, and we want all of them at 100%.
What's relative is how we balance them.
When I went back to uni, I cut back on shoes, fiction books, & dining out. My value of beautiful things didn't change, but I temporarily held it in abeyance, to honour a value of *ever learning".
These tensions keep us honest. Beautiful things will eventually yell for attention! 😉 #values
One of the most valuable lessons from my 17-year journey as a #lifeCoach has been:
When I clearly lay out what I value, decision-making is easier.
Mind you, the hardest decisions remain: important choices between things that are both good, or both bad.
But even for those, I'll tell you this: since I started making aligned choices, I've stopped second-guessing myself. (It's astonishing, now that I think about it!)
Sometimes a client struggles to meet conflicting expectations. I'll say: just blurt out what you really want. (It's a fun moment; I have no idea what they'll say!)
▪ The tired lawyer really want to open a bakery!
▪ The angry tester wants to shout You betrayed my trust!
▪ The bored creative wants to do work that makes the world safer for their children.
Sometimes a client struggles to meet conflicting expectations. I'll say: just blurt out what you really want. (It's a fun moment; I have no idea what they'll say!)
▪ The tired lawyer really want to open a bakery!
▪ The angry tester wants to shout You betrayed my trust!
▪ The bored creative wants to do work that makes the world safer for their children.