Apytele

@Apytele@sh.itjust.works

I love genuine questions and people putting in the effort to love and understand each other better. If you come at me just wanting to argue I’m going to troll you back. FAFO.

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Apytele,

Yes and no. I’ve had to insert a LOT of meaning to get a story worth any substance, and I’ve had to do a lot of editing to get good images. It’s really good at giving me a figure that’s 90% done, but that last 10% touching up still often takes me a day or so of work.

Apytele,

This is what I mean when I tell people this is a joke about creationism.

Apytele,

True!

Apytele, (edited )

Those emergency room visits referenced were almost certainly not necessary and just the result of overly fussy parents (addendum: excluding weird allergic or idiosyncratic reactions to dyes and whatnot). It’ll do really weird things to you circadian rhythm and you’ll have some utterly surreal nightmares, but that’s not anything you can’t manage at home. It’s suuuch a light sleep aid it’s not going to sedate enough to mess with the drive to breathe and your body won’t convert enough of it to serotonin to do that either. It doesn’t really matter how much you take either.

The LD50 (average amount it takes to kill) is over a whole gram and is basically unestablished in humans. That’s an insanely large amount as far as medication dosing goes, especially since we’re talking by kilogram of body weight. The max established safe dose (no nightmares) that melatonin is routinely sold as is like 10mg total for an adult, so the person would probably need to swallow an entire 100-count bottle for every kilo they weigh. Also I almost guarantee any pediatric overdoses were the gummies (obviously), so they would have to eat a 100-count bottle of the highest dose gummies for each kg. Babies don’t even start eating solid food until around 6 months when they’ll probably weigh around 6kg, so picture an infant getting open and chugging down a half-dozen 100 count bottles. It’s a nonsensical picture.

The daycare workers should still be fired asf though that’s super weird and yeah those kids should be getting regular checkups to make sure this hasn’t messed with their growth or anything.

Most unique looking celebrities?

I’m working on a side project studying variations in human facial features. It’s been helpful to study celebrity faces because it’s easy to find numerous reference photos. I’ve actually got a fairly good range of weird looking white men, turns out Hollywood is pretty flush with those, but it’s been harder to find...

Apytele,

She was one of my picks, she makes those giant peepers look good as hell.

Apytele,

Yeah but it’s hard to find multiple angles of people who aren’t as well known…

Apytele,

I could use more of everything, but I need those the most, yeah.

Apytele,

…I mean…?

Apytele,

So if you’re interested this is an AI project I’m working on to make “Character LoRAs (low-rank adaptations).” A LoRA is a small model you can nest within a larger AI model to help get more specific faces, poses, styles, etc. My end goal (if I keep working on this long enough) is to make a set of visually distinct “characters” that don’t look like any one real person. That way they can be used to tell stories, and will look consistent image-to-image. I want to pick out some distinctive features so that a) it will be easy to tell them apart, but also b) there will be adequate racial/ethnic representation. I also want most of them to look pretty average from a “western beauty standards” standpoint because western beauty standards need to fuck off in general. And it’s really hard to find average looking people in existing character LoRAs because most people are using StableDiffusion to generate porn, so they’re all cute anime girls and one or two attractive anime men. I want multiple solid, consistent options that just look like overall normal people!

Apytele,

He mostly has pretty average facial features but it has been interesting seeing how build comes through especially with the more heavyset combinations.

Apytele,

Yeah if half my patients just went out and found constructive hobbies that they can do with other people I would actually be really hyped. I especially like seeing young men stop fixating on women and just go develop things about themselves that are likeable and interesting to other people in general.

The craziest part is that I’d actually kind of prefer that they do this in most cases. Half the time this will be like 75% of what the therapist will tell them to do anyway and the other 25% is stuff like “stop getting most of your hydration from diet coke” and “yeah your dad was just kind of an asshole boomer; that happens a lot actually.”

And I’ll probably get shit for it again (but maybe I’ll explain it better this time?) but it’s actually really concerning how many people are leaning on therapy right now. I’m not saying it’s their fault, but saying more people need to go to therapy isn’t actually going to fix the issue. It would be like if were constantly maiming and injuring people and saying the problem was not enough people going to physical therapy. Therapists absolutely need to be a thing, but most people wouldn’t be having these problems in the first place if we hadn’t commoditized human interaction and largely eliminated publically / benefactor hosted social spaces.

And by commoditized I mean we’ve created this culture where we have all these rules for who gets to be mad or sad in each interaction and who is supposed to support who, often with the exchange of money involved. And I’m actually mostly talking about the service industry even more than I am about the mental health one, it’s just that their bullshit is seeping over to us and making the mental health (and general healthcare) industry a toxic sludgepile too. The only therapist I could get to call me back is part of a large online franchise that basically pimps them out like onlyfans models except my insurance pays and there’s no flirting or tiddy pics. I haven’t had the heart to pry into how much they’re actually making but I doubt it’s a lot.

TLDR: I don’t like modern “just go to therapy” culture because I think it’s completely missing the point. Even if we were properly staffed, the healthcare industry can’t conceivably fix the rest of society on it’s own. Also just fix housing already ffs. It will literally just put a cap on the mental health crisis. Like if we just took blackrock’s real estate and put homeless people in it the mental health crisis would just be like 80% solved. I’m not even kidding.

Apytele, (edited )

I said local. I would encourage you to vote democratic at the state and national level but that’s not what this is about. Everyone pretty much already knows who they’re voting for in that part of the election. It’s the mayors and school board people we need to flip now too though if we ever want to get out of this. A pause button only helps you if you do something with the time you bought. The fact that you still had to make this conversation about the national race IS the psyop.

Apytele, (edited )

Cool, but people can do this right now on the toilet while shitting. They can start working on that other stuff when they actually have time. Baby steps here. Also you need third parties running things before you can get that done anyway because democrats won’t do that for the exact same reason they’ll never actually get rid of the Republicans.

Apytele,

People really underestimate how much COVID just completely emotionally hamstrung this new generation of young adults. Right in the middle of the most socially important life stages (identity vs role confusion and intimacy vs isolation) and they spent two years of it in literal isolation. The people who were already well into adulthood were hurt by the isolation as well, but at least they have an existing interpersonal framework to try to revert to. These kids have next to nothing.

Apytele, (edited )

Hi I’m a psych nurse with my own mental health issues so I’ve both had done similar problems and worked with hundreds of other people who have had similar problems.

a) get yourself into one of those alanon groups for family and other loved ones of addicts. They will give far better advice than I or any other internet person ever will.

b) decide on your boundaries now and communicate them clearly at a moment that he’s in a good headspace (don’t just pop it on him right after the wife files for instance).

c) Your personal boundaries are very personal, but I do recommend you decide on how much money you’re willing to give him and how. It could be anything from 1k towards the debt if you’re exceptionally kind and have it to give him, to just offering to buy him a good meal now and then. If you ever help with rent or anything however, I highly recommend you pay the person he owes directly so he doesn’t have a chance to think he can solve all these problems with one more because it’ll finally be his big win.

c) Also decide how much you’re willing to get yelled at because I can almost guarantee he’s going to get frustrated with those boundaries and cuss you out at some point. You don’t have to lay this out in detail but I do recommend you at least say “I do expect to not be abused.” And he’s not going to be joking he’s going to bring up any traumas or mommy issues or whatever skeleton in your closet that he knows about. I know because I’ve done it and watched hundreds of other addicts do it. It’s a normal response to both the internal chemical changes as his neurotransmitters re-level AND all his interpersonal relationships shift to healthier ones. You’re still not obligated to sit through that. So decide how much you’re willing to take now. If your line is physical aggression, decide if you’re willing to put up with him getting in your face without swinging, because a lot of people who have gotten good at being addicts know how to toe lines real good so you better paint them bitches crisp.

d) recommend whatever mental health resources you can talk him into going to. Anything from support groups (AA has a lot of spinoffs for other addictions, but 12 step is usually better for more spiritual people. If he’s particularly secular, try SMART instead). Also definitely encourage him to go to a psychiatrist. Even behavioral/nonchemical addictions can significantly alter brain chemistry in a way he may need a leg up to really overcome (behavioral addictions are things like gambling, binge eating, video games, and porn vs chemical ones like heroin, meth, etc. As an aside, weed is kind of a grey area, it’s not super chemically addictive, but it can definitely be behaviorally so for the wrong person).

e) if you’re really down for it, learn a few formal crisis intervention strategies. You could try taking a mental health first aid class or reading a book but to give you a leg up I’ll tell you the skill that took me 10 minutes to learn and I literally use it every single night I work: S.E.T. communication or Support, Empathy, Truth.

Support - a simple statement that aligns your values and desires with his.

  • "I really want you to get this debt handled. I want you to get out of this and stay out of this.
  • “I want to stand by you and keep helping you with this.”

Empathy - a simple statement about your understanding of why this has been difficult for them.

  • “and man it’s a shitload of of money you’re probably looking at like mount fucking everest.”
  • “and I know you’re going through it right now”

Truth - a possibly less simple statement of the best way they can step with you towards that goal. The other two steps are to give you the best possible setup and help him feel heard to get him in just the right headspace to really hear this part.

  • “I can’t buy you out of this and honestly I don’t think it would help you in the long run if I did. The best way to get this paid off is to not get into more shit and take what you have now one step at a time.”
  • “and I wanna be here for you to lean on through this but I can’t carry you. To keep working with you on this I need you working with me. I’m gonna give us both a day or two to let the steam blow off, and then I’m gonna come back and try to talk this out again so we can get back on the same page.”

It doesn’t work 100% of the time but compared to fumbling your way through these conversations it’s practically magic.

This brings us to f) if he does get hot, DO. NOT. ARGUE. do not argue when people are not capable of responding rationally. It tends to just increase the irrationality and nuke any working relationship that’s been built. He might do great for the most part but every once in a while the dopamine or adrenaline or whatever else is gonna hit just right and he’ll turn into a straight asshole for a short period. Just tell him you’re both gonna take a breather (phrasing it as a “mutual” breather may help him take it less personal, but if he asks, tell him you needed time to process how he treated you, don’t let him make it about what you said unless you did actually say some dumb shit) and don’t talk to him for AT LEAST 15 minutes. I say at least because depending on how wild he gets you might need to extend that to like 3 days or so, maybe even more. 15 minutes is just the average time it takes adrenaline to dissipate and I use that timing a lot to reapproach people at work.

Hope all this helps!

Apytele,

This is a very fitting reply; nobody cares when it’s causing a famine in Uganda or the ocean is swallowing the Philippines or whatever. The people with the power to actually change these things won’t get upset until hurricane tradgedeigh is stripping the siding off their mcmansion, and by then it’ll be a few decades too late.

Apytele,

We need to turn it off and on again.

Fun fact for anyone reading who doesn’t know: if you’re ever in the room while someone is being defibrilated, make sure you’re not touching them in any way. The electrical shock can stop your heart too!

My department only does this to brains though.

Apytele,

☝️ there’s a fine line between maintaining personal safety and allowing conservatives to create divisiveness, and not everybody knows how to keep their balance. Hell the only reason I know is because I’ve basically made a career of taking care of people who want to kill me.

Apytele, (edited )

Emotional validation of a sense of the world being against them. A looot of people are significantly happier to be proven right about the world being horrible to them personally than change their own outlook or behavior. It turns out our evolutionary psychology STRONGLY favors not having to reprogram anything and will generally move to protect your existing psychological coping scheme before trying behavioral changes. It makes 0 sense but I watch it happen all. the. time.

The only real way to force someone out of it (and even that only works like half the time) is inpatient care where you can control the environment enough to be able to be nice to them safely. In the community often the only safe way to deal with people this delusional is exactly what this doctors’ office did: refuse service / tresspass or if you’re an individual just give them a clear berth. And even inpatient care is only worth it if there’s an actual psychiatric disorder involved. If they’re just a prick its going to cause more problems than it solves.

Apytele,

I’ve heard of a couple sinkings lately. Not that that contradicts your statement about docility, in fact I intend to add to it. Multiple little pods / small groups of species with similar cognition / intelligences (especially elephants, but also whales and often corvids) have been known to get fed up with humans’ shit and go on targeted rampages. They don’t think too dissimilarly from us, and revenge is certainly a pretty big human motivator.

Apytele, (edited )

I remember listening to a dramatic podcast about this. Like the plot was that they would basically make a spoken llm out of your loved ones’ insta posts or something?

Update: pretty sure I’m thinking of LifeAfter

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