Apytele

@Apytele@sh.itjust.works

I love genuine questions and people putting in the effort to love and understand each other better. If you come at me just wanting to argue I’m going to troll you back. FAFO.

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Apytele,

True!

Apytele,

This is a very fitting reply; nobody cares when it’s causing a famine in Uganda or the ocean is swallowing the Philippines or whatever. The people with the power to actually change these things won’t get upset until hurricane tradgedeigh is stripping the siding off their mcmansion, and by then it’ll be a few decades too late.

SLPT: You can make like 30-50% of your social circle think you're psychic (or just weirdly smart) by asking them to think of a number 1-10 and asking if it's 7.

Helps if they 're not huge nerds who spend all their time talking about the true definition of randomness and/or already have a number they consider the sexiest have reduced STEM knowledge overall, somewhat irrespective of other intelligences.

Most unique looking celebrities?

I’m working on a side project studying variations in human facial features. It’s been helpful to study celebrity faces because it’s easy to find numerous reference photos. I’ve actually got a fairly good range of weird looking white men, turns out Hollywood is pretty flush with those, but it’s been harder to find...

Apytele,

I could use more of everything, but I need those the most, yeah.

Apytele,

He mostly has pretty average facial features but it has been interesting seeing how build comes through especially with the more heavyset combinations.

Apytele,

So if you’re interested this is an AI project I’m working on to make “Character LoRAs (low-rank adaptations).” A LoRA is a small model you can nest within a larger AI model to help get more specific faces, poses, styles, etc. My end goal (if I keep working on this long enough) is to make a set of visually distinct “characters” that don’t look like any one real person. That way they can be used to tell stories, and will look consistent image-to-image. I want to pick out some distinctive features so that a) it will be easy to tell them apart, but also b) there will be adequate racial/ethnic representation. I also want most of them to look pretty average from a “western beauty standards” standpoint because western beauty standards need to fuck off in general. And it’s really hard to find average looking people in existing character LoRAs because most people are using StableDiffusion to generate porn, so they’re all cute anime girls and one or two attractive anime men. I want multiple solid, consistent options that just look like overall normal people!

Apytele,

…I mean…?

Apytele,

She was one of my picks, she makes those giant peepers look good as hell.

Apytele,

Yeah but it’s hard to find multiple angles of people who aren’t as well known…

Apytele,

People really underestimate how much COVID just completely emotionally hamstrung this new generation of young adults. Right in the middle of the most socially important life stages (identity vs role confusion and intimacy vs isolation) and they spent two years of it in literal isolation. The people who were already well into adulthood were hurt by the isolation as well, but at least they have an existing interpersonal framework to try to revert to. These kids have next to nothing.

Apytele,

Yes and no. I’ve had to insert a LOT of meaning to get a story worth any substance, and I’ve had to do a lot of editing to get good images. It’s really good at giving me a figure that’s 90% done, but that last 10% touching up still often takes me a day or so of work.

Apytele,

☝️ there’s a fine line between maintaining personal safety and allowing conservatives to create divisiveness, and not everybody knows how to keep their balance. Hell the only reason I know is because I’ve basically made a career of taking care of people who want to kill me.

Apytele,

Yeah if half my patients just went out and found constructive hobbies that they can do with other people I would actually be really hyped. I especially like seeing young men stop fixating on women and just go develop things about themselves that are likeable and interesting to other people in general.

The craziest part is that I’d actually kind of prefer that they do this in most cases. Half the time this will be like 75% of what the therapist will tell them to do anyway and the other 25% is stuff like “stop getting most of your hydration from diet coke” and “yeah your dad was just kind of an asshole boomer; that happens a lot actually.”

And I’ll probably get shit for it again (but maybe I’ll explain it better this time?) but it’s actually really concerning how many people are leaning on therapy right now. I’m not saying it’s their fault, but saying more people need to go to therapy isn’t actually going to fix the issue. It would be like if were constantly maiming and injuring people and saying the problem was not enough people going to physical therapy. Therapists absolutely need to be a thing, but most people wouldn’t be having these problems in the first place if we hadn’t commoditized human interaction and largely eliminated publically / benefactor hosted social spaces.

And by commoditized I mean we’ve created this culture where we have all these rules for who gets to be mad or sad in each interaction and who is supposed to support who, often with the exchange of money involved. And I’m actually mostly talking about the service industry even more than I am about the mental health one, it’s just that their bullshit is seeping over to us and making the mental health (and general healthcare) industry a toxic sludgepile too. The only therapist I could get to call me back is part of a large online franchise that basically pimps them out like onlyfans models except my insurance pays and there’s no flirting or tiddy pics. I haven’t had the heart to pry into how much they’re actually making but I doubt it’s a lot.

TLDR: I don’t like modern “just go to therapy” culture because I think it’s completely missing the point. Even if we were properly staffed, the healthcare industry can’t conceivably fix the rest of society on it’s own. Also just fix housing already ffs. It will literally just put a cap on the mental health crisis. Like if we just took blackrock’s real estate and put homeless people in it the mental health crisis would just be like 80% solved. I’m not even kidding.

Apytele,

This is what I mean when I tell people this is a joke about creationism.

Apytele,

I have a lot of really REALLY fucked up ones. I’m an acute inpatient psych nurse but I’ve also had 4x inpatient stays of my own so I have a bunch of jokes that would leave my patients AND my coworkers speechless.

“Well I had a nuchal cord x4 (umbilical cord wrapped around the neck 4 times) so if you think about it, I’ve actually been trying to kill myself longer than I’ve been alive.”

“So then they restrained me and gave me a B10&4 (twice the amount of medication usually given for agitation) and I woke up in a state hospital with my back seized up from the Haldol and anyway that’s how I found out they were hiring!” 🎉

“I’m almost definitely more suicidal than my patient right now.” - Me (who’s had chronic low-grade suicidal ideation since I was like 12, sitting “suicide watch” on a patient who most likely just said they were suicidal so they didn’t freeze to death overnight on the street. Honestly I respect the hustle, if the psych hospital counts as comfortable to you I probably don’t even wanna know what your other option was. The mental health crisis in America won’t go anywhere until the housing one does).

Apytele, (edited )

From inside the mental health industry it doesn’t feel like we’re pushing drugs because we’re too hooked on this model and afraid to be scrutinized; we all know none of this is actually getting solved until there’s widespread social reform. Being able to hand out the drugs just feels like the only tool we’ve been handed.

It’s like being on a tiny life boat boat full of life jackets in the middle of a sea of people thrown into the ocean. I could start pulling people onto my tiny boat but eventually that’ll sink it. I do have all these life jackets I can throw at them though, which will buy a little more time for somebody with a bigger boat to come along and scoop them up. I don’t think it’s the people in tiny boats handing out life jackets that’s the issue; I think it’s whoever actually does have the resources to actually come get them and just won’t. I also think I would be generous to say it’s that they don’t care when the truth is they’re actively benefiting from people being afraid of falling getting pushed into the water. And yeah, nothings really going anywhere until we stop dumping people overboard in the first place.

I’m going to abandon that metaphor before it loses its usefulness. But yeah TLDR, I don’t hand people drugs because I think it will fix them, I’m just trying to buy this person time until they can either fix themselves, or until someone cares enough to give them the support they truly need and that I don’t personally have in me right now. I guess I can’t speak for everybody in the industry but all my coworkers seem to know we’re at best just handing out life jackets and its ultimately on the patient and particularly society at large to not waste that extra time bought.

And honestly if you want one issue that I think will legit just solve about 3/4 of the mental health crisis it’s housing. It’s literally just housing. And not shelters, I’ve never met anyone who really feels safe in one, they all tell me they got beat or raped or stolen from in one. No we need to just start putting people in houses. But I could write a wholeass Manifesto on this (and I think I may have somewhere in my comment history).

Apytele,

☝️my mother in a nutshell. She said my grandmother warned her about what we now know as “The Second Shift” (working outside of the home then coming home and ALSO planning/doing most household maintainence tasks) when my mother was younger and was part of the first generation of women to work outside the home. But her understanding after years of this was somehow “mom was right” instead of “make him do his own laundry and if he refuses get a divorce.” At this point I’m just like women and the general cultural concept of femininity have shot ahead by miles in the last century. Men are welcome to do the same whenever they’re ready, but for now a lot of men are just coping by crab bucketing this shit and bringing women back down.

Apytele,

Am psychiatric nurse:

This is a psychiatric issue, just not one that requires inpatient care.

Also we don’t discuss palliative care enough as a society eg: you are welcome to refuse treatment and suffer then die of your multiple chronic illnesses, but you will be much more comfortable doing it at home. I’m a DNR before the age of 30 for this exact reason: I wouldn’t do chemo or transplants or any of that either: just let me glide quietly into that good night on a slip-n-slide of benzos and opiates.

I agree with the MD that discharge is the best option. The bed will be much better suited to a patient that is able to perceive inpatient care as beneficial, because this man clearly does not.

Apytele,

Get your bad-faith everything is fake reddit mentality off my post.

Apytele, (edited )

Emotional validation of a sense of the world being against them. A looot of people are significantly happier to be proven right about the world being horrible to them personally than change their own outlook or behavior. It turns out our evolutionary psychology STRONGLY favors not having to reprogram anything and will generally move to protect your existing psychological coping scheme before trying behavioral changes. It makes 0 sense but I watch it happen all. the. time.

The only real way to force someone out of it (and even that only works like half the time) is inpatient care where you can control the environment enough to be able to be nice to them safely. In the community often the only safe way to deal with people this delusional is exactly what this doctors’ office did: refuse service / tresspass or if you’re an individual just give them a clear berth. And even inpatient care is only worth it if there’s an actual psychiatric disorder involved. If they’re just a prick its going to cause more problems than it solves.

Apytele, (edited )

I said local. I would encourage you to vote democratic at the state and national level but that’s not what this is about. Everyone pretty much already knows who they’re voting for in that part of the election. It’s the mayors and school board people we need to flip now too though if we ever want to get out of this. A pause button only helps you if you do something with the time you bought. The fact that you still had to make this conversation about the national race IS the psyop.

Apytele, (edited )

Cool, but people can do this right now on the toilet while shitting. They can start working on that other stuff when they actually have time. Baby steps here. Also you need third parties running things before you can get that done anyway because democrats won’t do that for the exact same reason they’ll never actually get rid of the Republicans.

Apytele,

Newly admitted psych patient who was seriously invested in getting their personal sheets out of the belongings that came in with them. I didn’t really get it but I don’t understand like half the things that supposedly make people happy so whatever. I go to inventory the belongings real quick so I can get their sheets before they go to sleep.

So it turns out the family sent them with a full set of queen size silk sheets. We had to wrap the fitted sheet around the mattress and then some to get it to fit. Also in the bag were several (understatement) brand new brand name electronic devices. The clothes were also brand new and when I had the secretary look them up and there were several items that each could have paid my rent.

I had no idea what to do with all of it. Most of the clothes and the sheets were fine for the patient to have, but we don’t allow electronics out on the unit. We have a safe for valuables like phones and wallets and stuff but it was only a little bigger than a microwave and this person’s valuables would have filled it several times over.

It was like a real-life version of that scene from spaceballs where they find out they’ve been lugging the princess’s hair dryer across the desert. Not the indignant yelling obviously but just the first part where they open it up and just need to comprehend what’s going on for a second. It was especially jarring considering that most of my patient population is homeless. So like they’ll bring in everything they own (they don’t really have anywhere to leave it) but even when it doesn’t fit well in our storage it’s not usually 20 pounds of luxury goods that I have to figure out where to safely put before I’m on the hook for whatever the fuck all that cost.

Best part about the whole thing was that the chief complaint was capgras delusions. This family set this person up with all of this stuff to send them to the hospital and the pt literally thought they were all fakes. Like literally fake aliens or clones or whatever. Like damn that was some irony.

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