RoseRaven

erosdiscordia, 6 months ago to TransJoy

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RoseRaven, 6 months ago to random

Trying to emotion correctly this morning.

Impossible_PhD, 7 months ago to trans

One of the hardest parts of recovering from trauma is realizing--really facing--that our trauma doesn't end until we choose to end it. We carry it with us, reinflicting it upon ourselves, because the pain becomes so familiar.

This week on #StainedGlassWoman, we face the truth of how we use Slivers of our own trans trauma to keep that pain alive in ourselves. Forever, unless we choose to stop.

#Trans #MtF #Ftm #Nonbinary #Trauma #Psychology

https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/slivers

Terra, 7 months ago to random

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Tweetfiction, 7 months ago to random

I hope you vote today folks. ESPECIALLY if you live in Ohio or Virginia, but wherever you live! It's harm reduction at worst, and sometimes can do some real good!

#vote #govote !

rooster, 7 months ago to random

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RoseRaven, 7 months ago to random

Tagging @faithisleaping just because.

I wrote this a few days ago:

I’m not sure how to describe the place I’m in. I think I’ve mentioned earlier how religion changed for me but if you ask me how my own spiritual approach has changed, well it is hard to answer.

There wasn’t a sudden lightbulb change. Just a gradual numbness towards the rituals and beliefs that brought me here. A slow and steady retreat.

I still find an amazing amount of value in “going to the garden alone”. By this I mean early morning meditations on beauty in the quiet stillness before the day starts. In taking a moment to be alone and real and here before my day starts to reflect all of the pulls and tugs of the others around me. It is incredibly grounding.

I still find a tremendous amount of value in the words of christ. The “red letter” words in some translations. I find almost no value in Paul’s additional writings or the old testament when not read with a very critical eye (think how Rabbi Ruttenberg does.) Oddly to myself I’ve found myself drawn to what I understand modern Judaism to be, as exemplified by what I’ve read of Ruttenberg’s posts. Which is a very careful reading of the intent of the law from a love based perspective and not from a “add burdens” perspective. I really find value in the idea that you don’t accept the scripture as an unbiased perfect word of god and instead that you realize that what we call the scripture has been morphed through the ages by thousands of humans who acted in an editorial format, shaping the resulting document to reflect their own biases and beliefs.

If instead I view this and other holy texts as attempts by flawed individuals to capture the aspects of the divine as they understand them, then I have some peace with it.

Why am I here? How did I get to this place so far from the doctrine I grew up in? Well, the fruits of the trees that spread the doctrine I grew up in turned out to be rotten, and I couldn’t ignore it.

There is boundless forgiveness described in the evangelical texts and a complete lack of it in the words and actions of their faithful.

There is amazing grace and acceptance in the songs of the christian church and their priests cry out for blood and punishment.

Christ asked us to judge a tree by its fruit. And the fruit of the churches I experienced isn’t a representation of the Christ in their scriptures. They hide sexual abusers, they support hatred and racism, they go out of their way to hurt others and bind them in chains of guilt and shame.

So where does that leave me? I can claim Christ still, and stand as a rebuke to all of that…. Except I’m adrift and unsure of any of this because the rotting mold of their fruit still clings to my experiences. Because the shame of how I participated in perpetuating the hate against queer people and other minorities.

So instead I find myself in the garden alone. While the dew is still on the roses. Wondering, if, the reason I came to this holy place, still even exists.

So.

Yeah.
That isn’t exactly a comforting thing is it? I grew up on the belief that there were three forms of health. Physical, Mental, and Spiritual. And now I’m in a place of wondering whether or not the spiritual is even a thing.

I mean I think it is a thing… in that there is an aspect of who we are as humans that isn’t captured in the mind as we understand it. A subconscious of sorts that drives our interactions with beauty and truth and love.

I’m hoping that at somepoint in the future, when I’m done with the physical remodel and the mental remodel that I’m currently undergoing that I’ll have time and space to try and rebuild the wreck of what used to be my place of worship.

The only real change I would make to it now is that I don't think I can put off the mental remodel as cleanly as I would have described a few days ago.

Not because I believed it would be that simple a few days ago but because one of the things I'm getting from @Impossible_PhD 's posts is the importance of clearly stating things honestly to yourself when you know them.

That there is a lot of work to be done in the rubble of the trauma before you can rebuild never was in doubt. But I tend to pretend it was to make myself feel better in the moment.

....

my thought is drifting a bit now so ignore the fact that I no longer have a point with this post.

Terra, 7 months ago to random

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Terra, 7 months ago to random

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Terra, 7 months ago to random

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RoseRaven, 7 months ago to random

"Weep" cries the corvid
"Weep for a life gone morbid"
"Weep for a soul sold to stress"

"Fuck you" brays the donkey
"Emotions aren't the boss of me"
"Take your sad to the church if you must confess"

"Weep" cries the dark crow
"Weep for a life you wont know"
"Weep for a girl who never will and never was"

"Fuck you" brays the bitch ass
"If regret is your dish I'll pass"
"Now is the only real, everything else is fuzz"

"Weep" cries the raven
"Weep like an anxiety maven"
"Weep for you will always be clocked"

"Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!" a mule screams
"Other people are just dreams"
"My life is my own, my looks mine alone, and that dress I wore fucking rocked."

"Dear goddess won't you please all just shut the fuck up"
Grumbled the sleepy tired ugly pup

RickiTarr, 7 months ago to random

What do you sleep in:

Terra, 7 months ago (edited 7 months ago) to random

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Terra, 7 months ago to random

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Terra, 7 months ago to random

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OhNoSheTwitnt, 7 months ago to random

“Actually, frankincense was the name of the doctor. You’re thinking of frankincense’s monster.” - The 3 Wise Mansplainers

Terra, 7 months ago to random

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Terra, 7 months ago to random

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Terra, 7 months ago to random

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