juanejot

juanejot, 4 days ago to random

“Golmek yelmoy garren?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Sorry. I just ported in from an adjacent dimension, and my communicator hadn’t finished booting up yet. I said, ‘How are today’s soups?’”
“Sir, this is a Wendy’s. As such, the chili is pretty good.”
“And the orange creamsicle frosty soup?”
“Get out.”
“What? I just mean to dip my fries in it.”
(The employee visibly reaches for the silent alarm. Prices on the displays behind them waver, then soar.)

juanejot, 9 days ago to random

Did Andrew Garfield not get a reading?

juanejot, 11 days ago to random

With the kids already using “preppy” differently than we used to anyway, we may as well strongly steer the meaning of the word towards describing preppers.

Some examples:
“That paletteful of Vienna sausages and shelf-stable milk you got at the estate sale is soo PREPPEH!”
“That crank-driven portable ham radio with the cuhYOOT strap is PREPPEH!”
“I love, Love, LOVE the ghillie suit! Just needs a little ‘je ne sais pas où il a disparu’ to be PREPPEH!”
…ad finem

juanejot, 19 days ago to random

One reason we fear aliens: We assume “Take me to your leader” means “Let me speak to your manager.”

juanejot, 21 days ago to HashtagGames

The SE7EN Year Itch
#MashUpRomComsAndHorrorFilms
#HashtagGames

juanejot, 28 days ago to random

Found this calculator on my desk at work, so just HAD to test out the alphanumeric function.

juanejot, 1 month ago to random

I “love*” the phrase, “You thinkin’ what I’m thinking’?,” because it leaves a Three’s Company-sized hole for misinterpretation.
*(can’t stand)

juanejot, 1 month ago to HashtagGames

Croft1Chest
#RejectedCybertruckNames
#HashtagGames

juanejot, 1 month ago to HashtagGames

The airing of grievances. No wait, that’s… no, that’s right.
#NewBeersEveTraditions
#HashtagGames

juanejot, 1 month ago to random

Berenstoyne Bares/Schrödinger’s Mandela cognitive dissonance time:
Who remembered that this song was NOT by The Kinks?

https://youtu.be/Rqnw5IfbZOU

juanejot, 1 month ago to random

Yay, a kilotoot on this account!

juanejot, 2 months ago to random

Found the dogs standing, both of them, in the kitchen doorway as I retrieved their filled dishes to prep. Very nearly chose to serenade them to the tune of “The Lion Sleeps Tonight.”

“In the doorway,
The tiny doorway,
The dogs stand ‘round tonight!
In the doorway,
The tiny doorway,
The dogs stand ‘round tonight!
Come OooOOo~oOn…!
(You’re in my way, you’re in my way, you’re in my way, you’re in my way—)
Move it doggos, for dinner time tonight!
(You’re in my way, you’re in my way, you’re in my way, you’re in my way—)
Move it, my doggos, if you want dinner made tonight!”

https://youtu.be/OQlByoPdG6c

juanejot, 2 months ago to random

My eldest and I share a sense of humor.
E: “Hey Dad! [Without answer, proceeds to explain the setup for a Simpsons joke I either saw 20~25 years ago & so WOULD know by heart if it could be heard; or which I never saw because it’s too new & devoting attention to the show while my brain works overtime to determine whether it’s still good would be too much].”
Me (Looks up from the dishwashing or vacuuming or listening to music or whatever else I’m doing, invariably more than halfway through the explanation): “What?”
E: “Never mind!”
Classic.

juanejot, 2 months ago to HashtagGames

Refried refried beans
#OddThingsRecertified
#HashTagGames

juanejot, 2 months ago to HashtagGames

“Patty CAKE, patty CAKE, baker’s man…”
#NurseryRhymeABandOrArtist
#HashTagGames

juanejot, 2 months ago to HashtagGames

A journey of a thousand steps can be spoofed on your smartwatch by swinging your arms around a bunch.
#RejectedConfuciusDrafts
#HashTagGames

juanejot, 2 months ago to HashtagGames

(I’d mention “E.T.,” but they’re both execrable.)
#RetroVideoGameASong
#HashtagGames

juanejot, 2 months ago to HashtagGames

Gallis Pole Position
#RetroVideoGameASong
#HashtagGames

juanejot, 2 months ago to HashtagGames

The Importance of Being Ernest Goes to Camp

#MashUpTVDramasandSitcomsAsReboots
#HashtagGames

juanejot, 2 months ago to HashtagGames

Christopher Lloyd as Reverend Jim Travis Ignatowski Bickle in DRIVER.
“You talkin’ to me? You must be talkin’ to me, cuz there ain’t nobody else—WHERE DID ALL THESE PEOPLE COME FROM?!?”[Runs shrieking to hide from the studio audience only his character has broken the fourth wall enough to see, while Judd Hirsch hangs his head in straight man.]

#MashUpTVDramasandSitcomsAsReboots
#HashTagGames

juanejot, 2 months ago to HashtagGames

Why, WHY did this occur to me?!?

The Handmaid’s DuckTales

#MashUpTVDramasandSitcomsAsReboots
#HashtagGames

juanejot, 2 months ago to HashtagGames

I’m going to stop even pretending to try to follow the rules.

Westworld Side Story
Little House on the Meerkat Manor
Duck Dynasty (picture Linda Evans & Joan Collins in bandanas and beards that are no more superfluous than on the guys, once off camera)
Family Ties Me Up, Ties Me Down
The SpongeBob Newhart SquareShow

#MashUpTVDramasandSitcomsAsReboots
#HashtagGames

juanejot, 2 months ago to random

Chaotic smug: Good, if you agree with them. But impossible to keep up with, and UNBEARABLE.

juanejot, 2 months ago to HashtagGames

Vampire Fremen in
What We Do with the Shadout Mapes

#MashUpTVDramasandSitcomsAsReboots
#HashtagGames

juanejot, 2 months ago to HashtagGames

WKRP in Sin City

“As gawd is my witness, I thought power came from lying.”

#MashUpTVDramasandSitcomsAsReboots
#HashtagGames