madam__mayhem

madam__mayhem, 4 months ago to GYM

Muscle Mummy back progress… #gymgirl #milf #cougar #gym #musclemummy #muscle

madam__mayhem, 4 months ago to random

I’m so kink deprived I just called my Roomba a good boy.

madam__mayhem, 4 months ago to random

Why do I insist on a standing wank after leg day at the gym?!

madam__mayhem, 4 months ago to random

Sometimes self care looks like dancing naked to Limp Bizkit in the bathroom.

madam__mayhem, 4 months ago to random

Is Mars in retrograde or some shit this week? I’ve literally had six guys come back from the dead wanting another chance after ghosting me.

madam__mayhem, 4 months ago to random

Muscle Mummy problem #67…I now struggle zipping up my knee high boots over my calves.

madam__mayhem, 4 months ago to random

I’ve just been informed it’s Kiss a Ginger Day and checks notes THIS GINGER HAS NOT BEEN KISSED TODAY.

madam__mayhem, 4 months ago to random

The gym is extra fun when your uterus feels like it’s trying to claw its way out of your body, taking all the other major organs with it.

madam__mayhem, 4 months ago to random

Since Instagram hates my body so much, I’ll just post this here…

Video of me from neck to mid thigh, wearing an overt, corset style bra and high cut black and nude mesh thong. Gold nipple pasties cover my nipples and I rotate slowly, touching myself seductively as I do. Apparently too seductively for Instagram…

madam__mayhem, 4 months ago to random

Cishet men think other cishet men are their biggest competition in dating me. Sunshine, it’s my high standards you should be worried about…none of you make the grade.

madam__mayhem, 4 months ago to random

A former-FWB commenting on the life-taking ability of my melon crushers…

madam__mayhem, 4 months ago to random

Last night an incredibly sexy Italian man gently stroked the side of my face and said ‘Look at me’ as I sucked his cock.

I’m pretty sure my soul left my body.

madam__mayhem, 4 months ago (edited 4 months ago) to random

Me: That guy I’ve been chatting to on Feeld flaked on a date then ghosted me.

Man Friend 1: Loser.

Man Friend 2: Tosser.

Man Friend 3: Dick.

‪Man Friend 4: Cunt. ‬

I love my man friends.

madam__mayhem, 4 months ago to GYM

Something different for Thigh Thursday… #gymgirl #musclemummy #gym #thighs #leggings

Video of me at the gym doing sissy squats with a 10kg plate. The quads are looking fiiiiine in my burgundy gym leggings…

madam__mayhem, 4 months ago to random

Longevity isn’t the measure of a successful relationship.

madam__mayhem, 4 months ago to random

God I love watching gay men check each other out with zero subtlety.

madam__mayhem, 4 months ago to GYM

My biggest achievement this year was (relative) consistency at the gym and seeing real Muscle Mummy gains 💪🏻 #musclemummy #gymgirl #gym