ADHDefy avatar

ADHDefy

@ADHDefy@kbin.social

Person of considerable jank.

openpgp4fpr:168fcc27b9be809488674f6b6f93bff9ff9ddd83

I'm starting to see some serious downsides to being able to see who downvotes you.

A few days ago I downvoted someone's comment, and the next day I happened to notice every single comment I've ever made had at least one downvote. All from the person I dared to downvote the ONE time. I straight up asked why they did it, and they seem to think I'm an "obvious" troll account that "apparently just exist to...

ADHDefy,
ADHDefy avatar

Agreed. I can see this being more harmful than helpful.

ADHDefy,
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I've been so psyched for this. I need to replay the story before the end of January, I guess! :)

ADHDefy,
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It's so good

Does the "Redirector" add-on affect your browser fingerprint in any way?

I use it in my normal Firefox setup, but I've been playing with Mullvad browser and I've kept everything to the defaults so I have a good option when I want a little more anonymity without needing the nuclear option (Tor) for sensitive-ish-but-really-not-all-that-sensitive browsing....

ADHDefy,
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These are all great games. I'm surprised not to see some of the heaviest hitters, like 0 A.D., Beyond All Reason, Xonotic, or Veloren.

ADHDefy,
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There are some really awesome mods for it, too. It def sets a high bar for FOSS game quality.

ADHDefy,
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Tbf, that's not what happened with physical games. Idk why it would be any different for digital keys.

ADHDefy,
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This is a real bummer. It is a shame it was never open sourced. :(

I sincerely hope @hariette is doing okay! If she reads this, the community still appreciates you. <3

RTR#29 Another boring update: Categories and bug fixes

Today, I wanted to introduce you to Categories - a new feature that is essentially a multi-mags view. A new tab will appear in the user panel where you can create categories (public or private) and then add magazines to them (local or remote). In the magazine listing, there will be another tab that will list public categories...

ADHDefy,
ADHDefy avatar

lol I had the same thought. This was one of my most wanted features! Idk if Artemis is still being worked on at this point, but I hope support for collections is added there.

ADHDefy,
ADHDefy avatar

@ernest, you are doing amazing work! I hope you're taking care of yourself, too. :)

In a future update, do you think you could add the ability to set a default sort? I prefer to set my home feed to Top, 1 Day, and it's easy enough to just bookmark https://kbin.social/sub/top/1d on my PC, but I primarily use kbin as a PWA on Android and AFAIK, there's no way to set a custom home page. It would also just be convenient to open kbin to my preferred sort on any platform. :)

ADHDefy,
ADHDefy avatar

On top of the performance issues, I've already invested a bunch in the first one with the billions of DLC they had. Starting over and having to buy all the new DLC they'll most certainly be making for 2 does not sound enticing. lol I'm sticking with 1, probably indefinitely or until the second one runs its course and the complete edition winds up super cheap in a Steam sale or something.

ADHDefy,
ADHDefy avatar

THEY GOT SPECIAL AGENT DALE COOPER, LET'S GOOOOOO

What is good to eat when you have no appetite?

I am super sick right now and haven’t eaten much in a few days. It’s getting to the point where I am gonna need to force myself to eat something to keep my strength up but everything just sounds terrible to me right now. I have been subsisting mostly on small glasses of milk and the occasional packet of instant oatmeal....

ADHDefy,
ADHDefy avatar

Chicken soup, plain white rice, buttered toast, peanut butter, and crackers are all things I can usually tolerate when I feel that way. Sometimes banana or vanilla yogurt. I hope you feel better soon!

ADHDefy, (edited )
ADHDefy avatar

So first off, on a personal note, I just wanna take a second and acknowledge that it sounds like you're really "in it." You're feeling the familiar frustration, and the shame. That little voice in the back of your head that whispers, "I'm not enough" is loud and clear right now. It sounds like you've had a lot going on, maybe you're burntout, and you're sick of feeling like a failure? All of that is totally valid, and it makes sense why you'd feel that way given the lifetime of negative reinforcement you've received, the recent diagnosis, and all the pressure to just be able to do what others can. I think most of us here, especially those of us that were also diagnosed as adults, can relate to those feelings in a big way. I know I can. I'm really sorry that you're going through that. :(

On a discussion-oriented note, generally speaking, I think it's important to be able to see ADHD holistically. It is a debilitating disability and it is comorbid with some really awesome/interesting qualities. It is not a superpower, but it is also not all bad, either; it's not just one thing, it's a whole-ass neurotype that comes with all the quirks and kinks any other brain has.

Your experience might be that you don't believe the trade-off is worth it, and you know, most days I would agree with you. I think most people here would. The truth is, though, it's really no better or worse than any other brain in terms of being a good, functional brain. ADHD is not an illness. We are only disabled insofar as society is disabling to us. The world was not built for us, and until we make some more equitable, systemic changes, we will continue to struggle. Just as modern buildings need to include wheelchair ramps and wider doorframes for people with walking aids, the future of society needs to include us in its design. We need accommodation to be able to thrive, and under the right conditions, it would not at all be out of the question.

None of this is meant to absolve us of accountability or responsibility, and it's not to say that nothing is really our fault, or that the pain we experience isn't valid. I just mean to say that we spend a lot of time beating ourselves up and commiseratting getting beat down by the world, which is completely understandable, but is there a different conversation that might be more beneficial to us? How can we educate our bosses and teachers and parents about us? How do we make sure that kids are being appropriately diagnosed, and that girls and children of color get diagnosed, as well? What could an ADHD/Autism-friendly work environment look like? What about ADHD/Autism-friendly supermarkets? How can we change stigma, expectations, and our environments to be better? Don't we deserve better? Yes, having ADHD sucks as it stands, but does it have to?

That's just my 2¢, anyway.

ADHDefy, (edited )
ADHDefy avatar

I understand the frusteration--I know it feels like an unrealistic suggestion. But I think it's important to question whether a more general understanding of ADHD could help? Like if people knew that, because you have ADHD, forgetting a date or something is not a sign that you don't care about them as it's out of your control. Maybe people in your life could learn how you express that they are important to you. They could learn to appreciate you for who you are and forgive you for who you are not. I know, for me, I greatly appreciate when someone remembers my birthday or an important date, but I don't hold it against them when they don't/can't.

That's what I mean. It's not reasonable to expect us to conform to every societal expectation when we literally can't, especially when others might have more flexibility to meet us where we are (or even in the middle) and don't currently put in that effort a lot of the time. People could be more aware and compassionate of our condition, just as they won't be mad of someone with a walker can't help them move. It doesn't mean they don't want to help or that they don't care, they just don't have the mobility. People understand that, so why couldn't they understand us, too?

ADHDefy,
ADHDefy avatar

I felt this in my soul. lol This has basically been my state of mind for the least couple of years. I used to game on mobile a fair amount, but these days, I just can't handle mobile gaming anymore. I can't deal with F2P games on PC, either, despite having loved some of them in the past (Apex Legends, Warframe, etc.).

Between F2P games, paid games with egregious F2P-style monetization, and soooo many AAA games coming out broken or just bad, I have been playing a lot of retro games, older JRPGs, and indies the last couple of years. I'm just so burnt out on the modern game industry.

ADHDefy,
ADHDefy avatar

You are right, I'm a pretty big fan of Bloons TD 6 myself. I've also played a lot of Osu!Lazer and some of the Netflix indies. It just kind of feels like the overwhelming majority of mobile games are predatory and obnoxious, but there are definitely some really well-done games between the premium options, console ports, and a handful of open source games.

ADHDefy,
ADHDefy avatar

I suspect this is exactly why Battlebit Remastered blew up the way that it did this year even though it looks like a Roblox game. lol

I think people are starved for a good, clean FPS that isn't mostly battling menus, cluttered UI, MTX, endless DLC, P2W, battle passes, lootboxes, daily login bonuses, timed events, grindfests, invasive anti-cheat (or an overwhelm of cheaters), constant updates that break the game, etc. I think there's a lot of us that just want to shoot stuff and have fun with our friends, like the glory days of online FPS. I'd happily fork over $60 today for that kind of experience, but I don't trust hardly any AAA publishers to keep their promises if they even did offer something like that.

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