Man: "Why are you walking in the park alone?"
Woman: "That's a personal question. I'm on my way back to my car"
M: "Can I walk you down?"
W: "I'm fine thank you"
M: "No need to be scared, I'm being a gentleman"
W: "That's nice but I don't know you and you're following me, which is alarming"
M: "You can get to know me, we can be friends"
W: "Why would I want to do that?"
M: "Give me a hug, I'm not going to bite"
Woman starts running. https://twitter.com/Hplayspiano/status/1771492967217308133 #EverydaySexism#SafeStreets
@fkamiah17 Every woman I know, including myself, has experienced something creepy like this - at least once & usually more than once. I don't hike alone anymore because I'm scared of men like the type mentioned in your post.
@fkamiah17 Gawd yeah I've got no time for victim blaming or that line of questioning. Firm believer people have the right to dress how they wish without it inviting uncalled for consequences.
@fkamiah17 Also, booze. The correlation between attackers being under the influence needs to have far more attention paid to it than whether those being attacked have had a drink.
@hannu_ikonen If you watch the clip, I don't think it can be classed as misunderstanding social cues, and I'm going to guess that you wouldn't have any trouble understanding that this woman didn't want you to walk her to her car and that you probably wouldn't approach a stranger asking to do so, let alone press the matter.
You should be terrified. This is daylight in a public park. Nice ones don't come with a sign, so we can't tell the difference until it's too late. Welcome to our world.
@fkamiah17 you can’t even be kind with them. Give them an inch and they take a mile. This guy is scary from the get go, the way he keeps crossing her boundaries. She said no, and he kept ignoring her like what she says has no meaning. A scary predator asshole. Not cute.
@JoBlakely@hannu_ikonen That's a great point. We're taught to be passive, de-escalate, not to antagonise or cause a fuss, in case it makes the situation worse and you find yourself in a situation with an angry someone almost certainly taller and stronger than you, who will get the benefit of the doubt if you bring it up to the police.
@hannu_ikonen@fkamiah17 I remember once, when I was young, I accidentally scared some woman because I thought she was someone I knew.
I called out to her, then again,louder, and she sped up, almost running. It wasn't who I thought, obviously, and still the urge to catch up and apologize was almost overwhelming.
I am glad I didn't, but I also remember it clearly ( hopefully she forgot immediately), and ponder how upsetting it might have been for her. Entitlement is.... something.
@Oggie@hannu_ikonen Imagine being alone on public transport at night and having that happen. It's extremely common. Then imagine a scenario like Sarah Everard, where you're walking home and you have to be scared of the police. Always leaving the house with flat shoes and a piece of bright-coloured clothing with you. Crossing the road multiple times and hiding in a shop because you think you might be being followed. Taking your drink with you everywhere in a bar in case you get drugged.
@fkamiah17 the number of times I had to hide behind the bar at a cafe in Paris because I was followed. Or go into a shop instead of home, because I didn’t want them to know where I lived. The waiters at the local cafe knew me, and would let me hide, and look out for when the stalker left.
@JoBlakely@Oggie@hannu_ikonen I imagine you had a similar arrangement with your female friends as I did, to call each other after a night out to make sure everyone got home safely.
There was a local shop near me when I lived in Kilburn, on the main drag just past the tube station, that let women do that too.
@fkamiah17 Sadly, same. It is truly alarming. The hypervigilance I have to exercise when hiking certain places (like paved birding trails when I'm less mobile) is exhausting and stressful.
@handmade_ghost Tbh I'd have a hard time finding any woman of my acquaintance who hasn't had that experience, and mostly not in daylight. Hypervigilance is a way of life and we don't even recognise it most of the time because it's so internalised.
So sorry to hear it's happened to you too 💖
My partner says the same. I am a reasonably beefy male, so don't have the problem. My daughter always runs with a couple of friends. Not that anyone who confronted her would come off well but that is not the point.
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