Had a long ass chat with my gramma last nite. She said ' Jaden you will never find happiness because all you do is plan for the next thing, always looking for something new and better. Just sit back and enjoy what you got'.
Think she may have a point??????
What yall think 🤔
I think she is partly right. Your happiness should be based on what you have and what you are now. Appreciate the present and be aware of it.
But at the same time, plan for the future. Knowing what you want for the future can guide your actions today. And if those plans don't work out, don't be sad. Count what the experience has taught you and celebrate that, and then move on.
In my life I know where I am, but I also know where I want to be and that informs me as a journey on.
One day, years ago, I was riding BART (transit train). Across the aisle was a group of boisterous young men, talking loudly. I felt they were making fun of me. I don't know. But they had me on edge, watching warily.
Their conversation drifted onto another subject, then one of them said, "When you feel you stuck in the never, come back to the now."
In that instant, everything changed. I understood what had been only a distant concept before. When you can, however briefly, rest in the present moment -- with all its awkwardness, with all its fear, with all its discomfort -- in time you come to realize you don't have to be swept away in all that.
You might even be surprised to discover something precious. I'll always be grateful to that stranger for being my teacher.
@Jaden3 She is not wrong. Always looking for the next great thing will eventually teach you one thing: it will never be good enough in the end. Appreciating what you have now, will give you different options in life as it creates room for different qualities than just improvement for the sake of it.
That said, if you really want something, go for it. Just dont forget to pause once in a while and enjoy the view. 😊
@Jaden3 there's def something to that, but also the present is a moving target so sometimes you gotta make plans so your present can eventually line up with the future present that you want
@Jaden3 I think some people are future-oriented, others are past-oriented, and a few are living in the present. I don't think past- or future- oriented people are happier or sadder in general.
Buddhism and some other philosophies say that the future and the past aren't "real" and dwelling on this unreality makes us suffer (be disappointed or dissatisfied) and there is a point to that idea.
but by nature, some of us will default to past or future orientation, and I don't think we can change radically away from those orientations.
@Jaden3 that’s exactly what my husband’s like too lol i’m always (half-)joking that he’s wishing his life away cuz he’s always looking to the next thing instead of taking time to enjoy the now! i guess some people are just like that!
The flip side is when there’s no next thing. You got a mortgage or have kids or need to save for retirement — no, sorry, it’s just to risky for you to do anything but the same shit for another 20-25 years. :deadinside:
@catmisgivings yes I know. I can't stop thinking ahead tho what I want to do and where I want to be. I find it real difficult to just stand still and preciate the present . You make sense tho fasho 👍🏾
@Jaden3
Hey, I think your Gramma totally has a point!! 💖💖
There's always a next thing to worry about!
Enjoy your youth and looks while you got 'em!!
Believe me they're soon gone, and you're sitting there thinking how the hell did I end up with people thinking I the OLD!! 🧓 woman.
I don't have grey hair BTW!!
but I creak when I walk 🤣🤣🤣
@DoubleTreble yeah she is wise that for sure. I spend a lot of time with her since I been back in Chicago. I think she was worried because I left houston came back up to chi , back to hou , back to chi. Dropped college working with my cuh who she don't like 😅. I think she favors me as a Grandson coz she ain't see me much and thinks my cuh a bad influence. Hugging me all the time and shit 😅😅 I think she just wants me to be happy
@Jaden3
I don't have grandkids, but I'm a hugs 🤗 kinda person, so if I did they'd never get away without Grandma hugs 🤗🤗
Enjoy her company and hugs while you got them!
She seems wise like you say, make the most of her 💖💖
@DoubleTreble yeah I think coz we been seperate so long me been in Houston an all. Now I'm with her in Chicago she catching up.
We spend a lot time talking. 😅 she was with my pops at the airport when I got here . 😅 I could here her screaming JADEN 🗣🗣🗣🗣 as I walked thru and she crushed me with a bear hug 😅😅
@Jaden3 you need to enjoy what is in front of you AND set some goals to achieve, IMHO! That's why I'm back studying at uni after a few start-ups, though I could just about retire. Oh, and I seem to have accepted a part time job, and I am running some community stuff!
I think it's the perspective of someone old and tired.
And I speak as someone old and tired. And not to be offensive to your grandmother, but for me, though, the interest of learning new things, finding new things, is what makes life worth living. So my advice would be the opposite.
@Jaden3@oldladyplays In the wise words of Joni Mitchell, “don’t it always seem to go/that you don’t know what you got till it’s gone…”
My interpretation of grandma’s wisdom: Take some time to celebrate when you do find something good rather than constantly feeling what is ‘over there’ is better somehow.
It’s real work to balance being happy with what you have that IS good, while also seeking and being open to new good stuff. And the world always wants to sell you new shit so you get a lot of pressure in that direction. 💜
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