@Colin@fluffy.family
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Colin

@Colin@fluffy.family

I am an anxious, ginger, domestic short-haired cat in the UK.
I am a paramedicat.

Testimonials:
Landlord of the pub next door, "I sometimes see an orange cat in the carpark, but when we try to stroke him, he runs away."
Friend, "We just saw Colin snuffling in the heroin bush like a truffle hunting pig."
Paramedic, "Does he want to ride along on our shift or be our mascot at the station?"

Header: Colin is standing on a pavement
Avatar: Colin shouting.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

I went outside to sniff things. There was a smell I didn't like, so I came back inside. It's also raining. Life is difficult.

Colin, to animals
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What does one have to do round here to get an uninterrupted snooze?

Colin, an orange cat, is sleeping on a cardboard scratcher to the left of the video. However, to the right, Eric, a fluffy black and white cat, jumps out of a green, plastic washing basket and runs past Colin, while making silly noises.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

This is an outrage!

It's , but am I enjoying myself?
No!
Am I being given treats?
No!
Am I being pampered?
No!

The humans need to fix this. :ablobcatbongokeyboard: :ablobcatcry: I have been in my firework safety bunker for over 90 minutes already being very brave.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Freedom! I took advantage of the preferred human and box-stealing man going to a human catnip place to escape! I was in too much pain to shout at them on their return. My leg really hurts :ablobcatcry:

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

In order to improve my posts, the humans have bought me some pencils. I'm not sure what to do with them yet, but I'm working on it.

Colin, an orange cat, lightly mauling a toy pencil. He looks a bit confused.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

A very relaxing . I briefly interrupted my nap to go downstairs to sing along to the humans playing the piano. However, there was an unapproved, non-household human there, so I felt a bit shy. I stared at him for a while to establish that he was OK. I'm now back to doing what I do best.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

I have been groomed! The outrage. I am not Eric. I am quite capable of keeping myself clean and do not need human assistance.

I got very angry and verbally abused the preferred human :blobcathissing:

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

This is just bullying. How is a cat supposed to enjoy his new box with all this going on?

A slightly different angle of Colin and Eric. Colin is still sitting upright in the cardboard box, staring directly into the camera, but Eric has moved out of the radiator bed and is sitting on the radiator top and having a wash.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

I went out to scream at the humans for abandoning me. I first screamed at them in the street, but insisted on coming back in through the back to annoy them.

Colin, an orange cat, on a nighttime street, lit by street lights. There is a parked car to the left and a hedge to the right.

Colin, to Cats
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There is a storm, so I have bravely conducted a strategic redeployment to under the bed.

This is me looking upset in the sun from earlier today.

Colin, to animals
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There is an extra human sleeping in the living room! No one did a cat consultation or applied for a permit. Why wasn't I informed?

For once, Eric is as upset as I am, so we teamed up to gallop noisily up and down the stairs, followed by a duet of wailing near the bed that has appeared.

The preferred human has told us off.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

I went to the wrong portal. The noise is a man bringing a wheelchair in the front door while I am trapped, shouting at the back. I couldn't be bothered to shout at the humans in the street, I'm tired.

Colin, an orange cat, waiting impatiently at a glass patio door. He yawns, then stands on his hind legs and stretches. The light is reflecting in his eyes.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Disaster! I went outside to shout at the humans when they came home last night, but I was so busy running around and shouting that I got locked out in the rain all night.

This morning, I was throwing myself at the back door, thinking I'd been abandoned. I was damp and starving!

I'm now having a sleep to recover from the trauma after having eaten my breakfast.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Eric is misusing my tree! This will be a bit of a thread because it was highly upsetting.

Eric, a fluffy black and white cat, in a cat condo on a cat tree. His head is visible out of the round window, his black tail is hanging out of the arched doorway.
Eric, a fluffy black and white cat, is in a cat condo on a cat tree. His front paw is sticking out of the round window, his head and a paw are visible through the arched doorway
Eric, a fluffy black and white cat, is in a cat condo on a cat tree. A front paw is sticking out of the round window, his belly and other 2 back paws are visible through the arched doorway.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

The preferred human is ill: she has finally succumbed to Covid19 because she abandoned me by leaving the house the other day. I did tell her that abandoning me was a terrible idea, but she didn't listen.

I am concerned she will pop joints out with all the coughing, but I am also upset by all the coughing, so I am staring at her, while also keeping my distance.

Did I mention the unacceptable levels of coughing?

Colin is in almost the exact same pose as in the previous picture, but this time, he is staring while sitting on a cardboard scratcher.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

I have a complaint. It has come to my attention that yesterday, 29th January, was International Colin Day. Not one person congratulated me. I was not given any treats or special food. There were no gifts left behind the wall in the front yard and Eric was just as annoying as always.

Incidentally, it was also national Curmudgeon Day, so I should have been doubly rewarded, yet I got nothing.

It is an outrage

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Someone has broken my box, so it is not as comfy as it was. I present the evidence for public judgement. Impact assessment: there is nowhere for me to sleep and I am upset.

I have already complained to the management.

Eric, a fluffy black and white cat, sitting in the flattened cardboard box.

Colin, to animals
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So... this has happened and I have nowhere to sleep again. I have tried sniffing him and walking around aggressively, but he's not taking the hint.

Eric curled up on a ball in the cardboard box

Colin, to Cat
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

My humans helped friends move house They committed the crime of moving the cat without appropriate paperwork. Never fear, I have served them with a cat enforcement notice under the Cat Housing Act 1991
(As amended by the Cat Ownership Act 1991)

Housing Notice Served By: Vesta To: [redacted]

  1. This notice is served by the Cat because it appears to it that there may have been a breach of appropriate cat housing, within section 171A(1) of the above Act.
Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Some people may wonder how I communicate all my deep thoughts to the preferred human. I am actually extremely chatty and communicative, as this video shows.

Colin, an orange cat, looking around with several chirps, trills, alarmed wide eyes, slow blinks, concerned ear movements and a quiet meow.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

The preferred human and I decided the household needs clearer directions when it comes to household chores (so I am not neglected), so she downloaded an app.

I (obviously) do not need to do chores as it's my house. I do all the supervising, which is extremely difficult considering what I have to work with. :ablobcatcoffee:

This was Eric's interpretation of doing the laundry. Do we award him any points for this?

Eric, a black and white cat, playing in a purple laundry basket. There is a piece of paper on the floor, which he is trying to attack through the holes. He jumps out of the basket to get the paper, but then jumps back in to retry the paw through hole method. He then bites the side of the basket and looks confused.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Running towards the preferred human to apologise for verbally abusing her earlier. She had been checking my fur with a comb, which I had not consented to. Therefore, I feel it was deserved, but I felt apologising anyway was the gentlemanly thing to do to keep the treats coming my way.

#WhiskersWednesday #CatsOfMastodon #Cat #Fedicat #Garden

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

I got caught in a cloudburst. In answer to the man's question, I was in a bush. I'm livid.

Colin, an orange cat, running out of a bush, across a flower bed with trampled spring flowers and down a stone path. There is a rather pretty camellia bush with lots of red flowers. Everything is wet.

Colin, to Cat
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

is not going well. The man stood on my tail, but while I was hissing and running away, I tripped up the preferred human when she was trying to give me treats as compensation. Eric tried to eat my treats, so I chased him, but he was too fast and annoying. :blobcathissing:

Therefore, I hid under the bed for a while, but I've emerged to claim the hug that I deserve after all that trauma. :blobcathug:

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

If you go out and abandon me, this is the reception you will get.

Colin, an orange cat, standing on a door mat, meowing

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