@Colin@fluffy.family
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Colin

@Colin@fluffy.family

I am an anxious, ginger, domestic short-haired cat in the UK.
I am a paramedicat.

Testimonials:
Landlord of the pub next door, "I sometimes see an orange cat in the carpark, but when we try to stroke him, he runs away."
Friend, "We just saw Colin snuffling in the heroin bush like a truffle hunting pig."
Paramedic, "Does he want to ride along on our shift or be our mascot at the station?"

Header: Colin is standing on a pavement
Avatar: Colin shouting.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

Colin, to animals
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Another rare photo of me as a kitten.

Colin, to animals
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I have been groomed! The outrage. I am not Eric. I am quite capable of keeping myself clean and do not need human assistance.

I got very angry and verbally abused the preferred human :blobcathissing:

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

Eric is misusing my tree! This will be a bit of a thread because it was highly upsetting.

Eric, a fluffy black and white cat, in a cat condo on a cat tree. His head is visible out of the round window, his black tail is hanging out of the arched doorway.
Eric, a fluffy black and white cat, is in a cat condo on a cat tree. His front paw is sticking out of the round window, his head and a paw are visible through the arched doorway
Eric, a fluffy black and white cat, is in a cat condo on a cat tree. A front paw is sticking out of the round window, his belly and other 2 back paws are visible through the arched doorway.

Colin,
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When the humans left the room, a minor scuffle may have occurred. I was victorious. I am now going around the tree checking for damage. 4/4

Colin, to Cats
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I missed so here it is a bit late. There is more unauthorised activity going on, so I'm staying in my box all day.

Colin, to animals
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The preferred human tried to groom me. Something to do with "Colin flocking the whole house," which I presume is referring to the gentle moulting I am currently undergoing; a natural process that requires zero human interference, (unless you are Eric and cannot look after yourself properly).

I bravely ran away into a bush to fix myself.

Colin, to animals
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Lads! I've discovered a new way to get the human up to give me 1st breakfast. Well, she got up, but I did not get breakfast on the grounds it was "too early," but I'm going to work on my technique.

I stood on the preferred human's head and dribbled on her mouth. She got up quicker than I've seen her move in a long time.

Colin, to animals
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Running towards the preferred human to apologise for verbally abusing her earlier. She had been checking my fur with a comb, which I had not consented to. Therefore, I feel it was deserved, but I felt apologising anyway was the gentlemanly thing to do to keep the treats coming my way.

#WhiskersWednesday #CatsOfMastodon #Cat #Fedicat #Garden

Colin, to animals
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So... this has happened and I have nowhere to sleep again. I have tried sniffing him and walking around aggressively, but he's not taking the hint.

Eric curled up on a ball in the cardboard box

Colin, to animals
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It's snowing. It's cold. Eric went outside.

Colin, to animals
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If anyone thinks a hardworking cat ever gets a day off duty, they would be wrong. Here I am again, shouting at the humans for coming home late.

Colin, to animals
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The preferred human is still unwell. As a reward for my paramedicatting, they got me this high quality box to sit in. Eric is jealous.

Colin, to animals
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My food place has disappeared because they've moved everything in my kitchen. Does this mean I am no longer going to get food? Why are they moving everything? I don't like it. :ablobcatcry:

I ran bravely away to tell the preferred human all about it and have a hug to calm down. I am hyperventilating. :blobcat_oh_no:

Colin, an orange cat, taken from above. He is running bravely across the kitchen floor.

Colin, to animals
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Disaster! I went outside to shout at the humans when they came home last night, but I was so busy running around and shouting that I got locked out in the rain all night.

This morning, I was throwing myself at the back door, thinking I'd been abandoned. I was damp and starving!

I'm now having a sleep to recover from the trauma after having eaten my breakfast.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

I do apologise for the unseemly violence, but I had to defend what's mine. While this 1:30 am battle lasted for over an hour, I was ultimately victorious. However, on inspection, my box has been slightly damaged. :blobcatbox:

Colin, an orange cat, punching Eric, a black and white cat, because Eric is sitting in Colin's cardboard box.

Colin, to animals
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Apparently, I am a "drama queen" who has plenty of places to sleep. The preferred human was not sympathetic to my complaints about Eric being on the bed.

Colin, to animals
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I am outraged! It is but the man and the tall one are cleaning. Vacuuming on caturday? Really? Cleaning is only permitted on Wednesdays according to the cat charter.

Colin, to Cats
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There is a storm, so I have bravely conducted a strategic redeployment to under the bed.

This is me looking upset in the sun from earlier today.

Colin,
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@maou it is never wise to question what Eric is doing, but I presume it's air vents because it's warm.

Colin, to animals
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We have found a rare photo of my predecessor Tim, Nice But Dim. Here, he is trying to get trapped in the porch because it was sunny. He got trapped in the porch a lot, according to the preferred human.

I have not been trapped in the porch since I was a kitten. I did it once, but now I only enter if I can exit.

Eric has not been trapped in the porch because he's not worked out that the front door is a door yet.

18+ Colin, to Cat
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

The cleaners put clean bedding on yesterday. I spent some time fixing it to make it more suitable for cats, but Eric has taken it to another level.

Eric looks straight at the camera with his olive-green eyes. He looks a mess: his white fur is brown and he looks damp.

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

@thepoliticalcat @GertyBz he's seen things.

Colin, to Cat
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

My humans helped friends move house They committed the crime of moving the cat without appropriate paperwork. Never fear, I have served them with a cat enforcement notice under the Cat Housing Act 1991
(As amended by the Cat Ownership Act 1991)

Housing Notice Served By: Vesta To: [redacted]

  1. This notice is served by the Cat because it appears to it that there may have been a breach of appropriate cat housing, within section 171A(1) of the above Act.
Colin,
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This is Vesta looking upset in her new home.

18+ Colin, to animals
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I missed . Plus, I am upset because I want to sleep in my favourite daytime spot, but Eric got there first. Where can a cat rest his weary head? I've tried sitting on him, angry glares and shouting to get him to move, but he does not care.

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

I've had another try, but he's still there. I have complained to the management.

Eric is curled up in a ball between a white duvet and pillow. Behind him, sitting on the floor, is Colin, giving him a hard stare.
Colin is standing up on his hind legs on a bed, looking to the right, where a small bit of black, fluffy cat fur is visible.
In the foreground is Eric, curled up in a ball on a bed. In the background, Colin is sitting on the floor, giving Eric a hard stare.

Colin, to animals
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

I missed again due to the stupid humans abandoning me AGAIN to go to visit family. How much family do they have? I don't abandon them to go and see my family.

I was inside all day with Eric and no food.
I was forced to use a litter tray.
I was denied hugs.
I tried to hug today, but was scared of a pillow.

Colin,
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

@littlemiao now I've just had to paramedicat as the preferred human decided to vacuum, but fell, was bleeding everywhere and couldn't get up. I am now shouting at her for being even more foolish than yesterday.

Colin, to Cat
@Colin@fluffy.family avatar

I'm sunbathing

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