Flash

Flash, 1 month ago to random

There is a new drink called the “Indictment Cocktail”: It’s a White Russian with thin orange skin and fake gold leaf garnish.

Flash, 1 month ago to random

“It is my great honor to be at Mar a Lago and to have won THE EASTER EGG HUNT TROPHY & THE SENIOR EASTER EGG HUNT TROPHY.” “I WON BOTH!,”

Flash, 1 month ago to random

Not sure if people stopped saying YOLO, or if everyone who said it died.

Flash, 1 month ago to random

Flash, 1 month ago to random

If the person who named the Walky Talky named everything:

Stamps = Lickie Stickie
Defibrillators = Hearty Starty
Bumble bees = Fuzzy Buzzy
Pregnancy test = Maybe Baby
Bra =Breastie Nestie
Fork= Stabby Grabby
Socks = Feetie Heatie
Hippo = Floatie Bloatie
Nightmare = Screamy Dreamy

Flash, 2 months ago to random

"Does this uniform make me look fat?" - Insecurity guard.

Flash, 2 months ago to random

Do cow farts come from the dairy air?

I'll see myself out………

Flash, 2 months ago to random

“To be honest, Officer, I wouldn’t have pulled over had I known all you were going to do was criticize my driving.”

Flash, 2 months ago to random

This is Oliver. He's your nurse today. The good news is that your X-rays show you're filled with bones. The bad news is that he wants them.

Flash, 2 months ago to random

I can't help but think that if I'd taken a different path in life, I could be lying on a slightly more comfortable sofa right now.

Flash, 2 months ago to random

World: There’s no way we can shut everything down in order to lower emissions, slow climate change and protect the environment.
Mother Nature: Here’s a virus. Practice.

Flash, 2 months ago to random

Flash, 2 months ago to random

Flash, 2 months ago to random

Everyone told Beethoven he would never be a composer because he was deaf. But did he listen?

Flash, 2 months ago to random

In Case You Were Wondering How Big An Eagle's Foot Is. It's This Big.

Flash, 2 months ago to random

Apparently, I'm the only one who wants to drink at this intervention. 🍷🍷

Flash, 2 months ago to random

If at first you don’t succeed, look in the trash for the instructions.

Flash, 2 months ago to random

Busy day at Stonehenge as the stones are moved forward one hour.

Flash, 2 months ago to random

I’m on the fence about whether or not to continue spying on my next door neighbours.

Flash, 2 months ago to random

Every child's jaw is packed with teeth which sounds normal until you realise that this is what it looks like.

Flash, 2 months ago to random

Flash, 2 months ago to random

The Fukang meteorite is a meteorite that was found in the mountains near Fukang, China. It contains beautiful translucent olivine crystals making it striking when viewed with backlighting.

image/jpeg

Flash, 2 months ago to random

Taco Bell is the only place where you can still get gas for $1.39.

Flash, 2 months ago to random

Tip: If you’re buying something embarrassing at the pharmacy (like an enema), just ask for a gift receipt so they won’t know it’s for you.

Flash, 2 months ago to random