Flash

Flash, 3 months ago to random

Flash, 3 months ago to random

Flash, 3 months ago to random

I will never understand why my fridge has drawings of carrots and celery on the beer drawer.

Flash, 3 months ago to random

Dad passed out after a long day with the kits.

Flash, 3 months ago to random

I was happily watching the Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra when the guy on the triangle disappeared!

Flash, 3 months ago to random

I had a really funny joke but autocorrect ruined the lunchtime.

Flash, 3 months ago to random

Boy, aged 4: Dad, I've decided to get married.
Dad: Wonderful. Do you have a girl in mind?
Boy: Yes, grandma. She said she loves me, I love her and she's the best cook and story teller in the whole world.
Dad: That's nice, but we have a small problem.
Boy: What problem?
Dad: She happens to be my mother. How can you marry my mother?
Boy: Why not? You married mine.

Flash, 3 months ago to random

Some people say that you should live each day of your life as if it's your last because that way you will appreciate every single moment. Other people believe that you should live each day as if it's your first because then every day can be the beginning of a new journey. Do you live each day as if it's your last or your first?
Either way, you should probably have a diaper on.

Flash, 3 months ago to random

Frankly, auto correct, I'm getting tired of your shirt.

Flash, 3 months ago to random

We are one with the earth. We are one with the trees. We are one with the air. We are one with the water. We are one with all living beings. We are one with the sun, the moon, the stars, the universe.
As above, so below, as within, so without.

Flash, 3 months ago to random

Advice for men: If a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is.
If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her.

Flash, 3 months ago to random

The CEO of IKEA was just elected President of Sweden. He should have his cabinet put together by the end of the week.

Flash, 3 months ago to random

Good advice. Bring cheese.

Flash, 4 months ago to random

Flash, 4 months ago to random

Flash, 4 months ago to random

I just broke a light bulb dammit, is that seven years of bad ideas?

Flash, 4 months ago to random

Flash, 4 months ago to random

Flash, 4 months ago to random

A man walks up to a Marine outside the White House and says, “I want to talk to President Trump.”
“I’m sorry, but Trump is no longer the President and doesn’t live here”, says the Marine.
The next day, the man again went up to the Marine and said, “I want to talk to President Trump.”
“Once again, as I’ve already explained, Trump is no longer the President and doesn’t live here”, says the Marine.
“I know that” says the man, “I just love hearing you say it.”
“See you tomorrow” says the Marine.

Flash, 4 months ago to random

Fixed it…..

Flash, 4 months ago to random

Another Polar Vortex outside. This is the second one so does that mean it's a Bi-Polar Vortex?

Flash, 4 months ago to random

A plus side to being my friend is that you can come to my house in your dressing gown and I won’t judge you because I too will be in my dressing gown.

Flash, 4 months ago to random

Ever wonder why doctors are so afraid of apples?

Flash, 4 months ago to random

Caption this……..

Flash, 4 months ago to random