@Flash@mastodon.world
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Flash

@Flash@mastodon.world

Optimist, survivor, love to laugh. I support Joe Biden and Volodymyr Zelenskyy.
I will follow back.
Alt text suggestions appreciated very much. I’m not good at them.

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Good advic......

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I put a potato in the microwave and pushed the pizza button, but when the bell rang it was still a potato!

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Mommy, I is cold......oooh, that’s better!

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You’re probably wondering why I’ve gathered you all here today……..

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🇰🇵 "Kim Jong-Un tells me he didn't know about Otto Warmbier, I take him at his word.
🇸🇦 "The King of Saudi Arabia denies killing Jamal Khashoggi, very strongly."
🇷🇺 "Putin was very strong and powerful in his denial of election interference today."

Trump has never had a problem taking dictators at their word.

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Tip for today: If you answer the phone and say, "Hello, you're on the air", most telemarketers will hang up quickly.

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A homeless guy asked me for money today and I thought, sure, he’s probably just gonna spend it on booze.
Then I remembered that’s what I was gonna do so we walked to the liquor store together.

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How come "you're a peach" is a compliment but "you're bananas" is an insult? Why are we allowing fruit discrimination to tear our society apart?

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If my psychiatrist says, "There's really nothing more I can do for you", that means I'm cured, right? 🤔

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That man is facing an enormous bill.

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Peek a boo......

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What a picture! Mountain Lion caught as it begins its leap down from a tree.

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Someone: "What Inspires you to get out of bed everyday?"
Me: “My bladder.”

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"Danger, Do Not Touch" must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

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I was just thinking, everything is a boomerang if you throw it upwards.

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They had me at DANCING SANDWICHES .

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Horse-riding in Ontario.

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