StefanThinks

StefanThinks, 1 month ago to random

If you and I put our heads together, we’d be stoppable!

StefanThinks, 1 month ago to random

Disgusting if literal: shitposter

StefanThinks, 1 month ago to random

Cute flame-throwing robot dog, can I pet it?

StefanThinks, 1 month ago to random

Only people who have seen the deleted scenes on the Malay special edition 20th Anniversary LaserDisc of Perfect Strangers will get this next joke…

StefanThinks, 1 month ago to random

Me: plugs charger into phone

Phone: You're not the boss of me! I’ll charge when I want! charges at 3am

StefanThinks, 1 month ago to random

This food packaging says it is delicious. They aren't allowed to say that if it's not true.

StefanThinks, 1 month ago to random

I know I'm pretty bad about staying on top of my to-dos, but c’mon prosecutors who finally brought cases against fake electors from nearly four years ago, maybe get a day planner or listen to a motivational podcast or post-it notes or something.

StefanThinks, 1 month ago to random

You're my friend unless proven otherwise.

StefanThinks, 1 month ago to random

A false memory I have is about the “Do you know where your children are?” slogan. I thought it was a PSA, but remember looking it up a while ago and reading that it was from an intro to a sci-fi TV show. I just looked it up again and it was a PSA. False memory inception!

StefanThinks, 1 month ago to random

A service that, if someone points out a typo or grammar error, will scan their entire timeline and reply to point out every one of their posts with mistakes.

StefanThinks, 1 month ago to random

“The only thing that stops a bad guy with a flame-throwing robot dog is a good guy with a flame-throwing robot dog.” – Person who owns the company that introduced and mass produces flame-throwing robot dogs

StefanThinks, 1 month ago to random

I just heard about this app I want to check out that sounds pretty cool, it's called TikTok.

StefanThinks, 1 month ago to random

I'm sure that person I'm arguing with online will change their mind and agree with me once I question their reading apprehension and cognitive abilities.

StefanThinks, 1 month ago to random

basco soz

StefanThinks, 1 month ago to random

“I’m not allowed to talk” – Guy who never shuts up

StefanThinks, 1 month ago to random

My other bumper sticker is a bumper sticker.

StefanThinks, 1 month ago to random

I'm going to get a tattoo of a QR code and when people snap it, it's going to open a Bing search for “jommy fallan.”

StefanThinks, 1 month ago to random

“Earth Day? How come there’s no Neptune Day?” – A Neptune rights activist

StefanThinks, 1 month ago to random

I'm going to invent plasma-ing to help people quit their vaping habits.

StefanThinks, 1 month ago to random

Me: Well, people can make numbers say whatever they want as long as it supports their “narrative.”

Bank agent: sigh For the last time, pay your overdraft fees or don't, I don't care.

StefanThinks, 1 month ago to random

You can wish Earth a happy birthday, but remember that it is rude to ask a planet how old it is.

StefanThinks, 1 month ago to random

Keep honking, I'm adding more bumper stickers!

StefanThinks, 1 month ago to random

On Twitter, I was followed by Stefan Lessard, the bassist of Dave Matthews Band. It was a little awkward because I like to make fun of the Dave Matthews Band, but I didn't want to betray a fellow Stefan.