@kabrams@union.place
@kabrams@union.place avatar

kabrams

@kabrams@union.place

posts do not represent my employer/educational institution.

on Chumash, Fernadeño, Tatiavam and Tongva land.

autodidactic mind.

// union.place mod

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

inquiline, to random
@inquiline@union.place avatar

Just typo'ed TERF as TERD and might keep this as they're not feminists anyway

What's this linguistic formation, tho. Acronymic spoonerism-ish, tho not that

(The reason I made this typo was making a note on this acct before hitting block, as they just replied to me. A spin thru posts is all RW conspiracy stuff https://mastodon.staycuriousANDkeepsmil.in/@DavidKnestrick/112469688114339131)

kabrams,
@kabrams@union.place avatar

@inquiline blocked at the server level and suspended his vanity domain instance. if you block for anti-science or conspiracy theories, the post up thread is a single user instance you might want to ban hammer.

18+ tim, to random
@tim@union.place avatar

I spent nearly two hours earlier this week speaking with a colleague (and I like to think, friend) who is an Israeli Jew (living in Israel)... and I'm back to "gosh this whole thing is so complicated I'm not sure I can say anything educated about any of it". Which is probably where I should be, but gosh it's humbling.

This is someone I know, respect, and trust, and who describes himself as an ultra-lefty who was (and is) a big opponent of the Netanyahu government.

1/?

kabrams,
@kabrams@union.place avatar

@tim honestly, the people who felt unsafe due to the legitimate protest can grow a pair and sit with it a bit.

the people who are against the protests that have been happening drawing attention to the happenings in Palestine? in my opinion, and I'm aware that I'm on one side of the line here—those are the white people yelling and jeering as Ruby Bridges walked into a desegregated school.

they're uncomfortable? because Israel is in the wrong and has been since the beginning of the response.

skinnylatte, to random
@skinnylatte@hachyderm.io avatar

I had a realization yesterday that one of the reasons why I really struggle with female friendships is I went to a very fancy rich girls school and my experience with female friendships, as an autistic and not rich person, has been mostly terrible

But gender dysphoria might also be a factor (I don’t understand how to fit in in that world)

kabrams,
@kabrams@union.place avatar

@skinnylatte realisations are powerful, and that sounds like a good set of insight. I empathise a lot with the autistic awkwardness. these days I tend to structure my friendships based on common interests and less about gender, but the majority of my friends, both online and offline, are some flavour of queer. mostly my friendships come from cute animal pictures and then realising that there's either more in common, or just people being genuine and interesting.

skinnylatte, to BelieveInFilm
@skinnylatte@hachyderm.io avatar

Going to sell my Nikon film gear to fund my dog’s recent vet adventures :/

I have a Nikon FE, F3HP (or will soon, it’s at the shop for a CLA), 50mm f1.8, 28mm lens and 55mm micro

Lmk if any of that sounds interesting

kabrams,
@kabrams@union.place avatar

@skinnylatte very interested in the 50mm and 28mm lenses, because somewhere in all my stuff I have a Nikon D60 that I absolutely love shooting with film lenses on, and I have an adapter for my m4/3 camera to Nikon as well, but they might be out of reach which is okay. please let us know how we can contribute even otherwise. I'm living on student loans and financial aid but I get money again in August and I've got some to spare.

kabrams, to Jewish
@kabrams@union.place avatar

so you know what's really not cool for #Jewish folks to do?

attacking people, both Jews and goyim, for having principled and unbiased opinions about what's happening in #Israel and #Palestine.

just because people aren't falling into lockstep doesn't somehow make them an evil antisemitic who needs to be on a list or mean they don't care about Jewish safety.

far too many #Zionist types are never willing to accept even the slightest disagreement or critical thinking.

I'm not naming names.

kabrams, to random
@kabrams@union.place avatar

my new space heater (currently for the RV but may move to other rooms when said rooms are ready) has a remote control and I absolutely love being able to adjust it without getting up and walking over there. good for turning it on and off without true interruption to my tasks.

kabrams, to random
@kabrams@union.place avatar

continuing to find that people have the entirely wrong and hostile approach to this everything. you don't get allies by hitting the people who've done nothing to you and are marginalised themselves with a shovel. you get them by saying hey this shit sucks you wanna go hit some oligarchs with a shovel?

stop punching down/punching sideways, motherfuckers.

one of these days I'll block y'all's whole fucking instance for the bullshit and antisemitism and transmisandry.

kabrams,
@kabrams@union.place avatar

your own marginslisation is never an excuse to be demeaning or derogatory towards another marginalised group. and if you think that you're special enough because you're blah blah blah and haven't you heard of all the horrible things, you're not special.

like I said, this shit sucks for all of us and I'm finding y'all absolutely astoundingly fucking clueless and blockworthy.

kabrams,
@kabrams@union.place avatar

I generally don't consider it a good thing when the people I'm blocking on an instance are the admins, especially when it's a larger instance.

but of course, I can't say fucking shit because "Jews are white".

hey look that's a square on antisemitism bingo, for those of you playing along at home.

not all Jews are white, and neither are all people who are visually pale-skinned. yes, I pass as white sometimes on a very conditional basis where I have to act super white. but no, I'm not white.

kabrams, to random
@kabrams@union.place avatar

one thing I have to deak with in my life is and my supposed functioning level mismatch, in large part because high functioning is just high masking.

it's not that I innately have any better grasp on things, it's that I can play pretend for a little bit of time.

today's mismatch is with regard to phlebotomy, where for a blood draw I need to lay down and have someone lightly restrain the side they're not taking blood from. but because I can articulate this, I'm not believed.

kabrams,
@kabrams@union.place avatar

I still have very high support needs, both for incidental things like encounters in a medical office, and for everyday things like being able to get through the daily routine of waking up and going to whatever it is I have to do.

kabrams,
@kabrams@union.place avatar

somewhere under all of the masks, I'm still barely verbal, prone to meltdowns and tantrums, easily sensorily overloaded and overwhelmed, with next to no knowledge of social structures, conversation, et cetera. I still wander, get distracted when left alone.

today they didn't have a second person, so I had to lay on my other arm, but he mostly understood the rest of my needs and did what I asked, if a little slowly on keeping the arm that he was drawing blood from from bending during it.

kabrams,
@kabrams@union.place avatar

and, at the end it blew the vein and the spot he stuck really fucking hurts now. if they fucking pay attention, that doesn't happen.

kabrams,
@kabrams@union.place avatar

the way to get my needs met, usually, is to bring my spouse with me and have them articulate my needs and the instructions, because once it's another person, my needs are instantly respected.

but when I articulate them, I'm ignored.

if you work in #Healthcare, in any way, pay attention to what I said in this thread.

and fucking well do better.

kabrams,
@kabrams@union.place avatar

also, I use the word myself, out of my own choice, to describe how my affects me and my and access needs. why? because it best describes my experience with healthcare and other professional settings. in a perfect society, sure, they're not special; but in the world we live in today they are, and phrasing like that helps me be believed and taken seruously.

everyone is going to be individual on this. use the language that people use for themselves.

jonobie, to random
@jonobie@social.coop avatar

I may need to go back to therapy to process my grief about losing access to a university library. Damn. It’s only a few weeks away and I can tell I’m downloading papers and kinda hoarding them with abandon.

kabrams,
@kabrams@union.place avatar

@jonobie in the future if you have anything you need, plead feel free to reach out. I have access for at least two more years.

kabrams, to random
@kabrams@union.place avatar

idea for my birthday: forty-six people give me between fifteen and twenty dollars each and I can afford to buy the tallit gadol of my dreams, like if you would participate in making a queer Jewish boy really very happy. there's some time between now and my birthday, this could totally happen.

kabrams,
@kabrams@union.place avatar

okay I'm doing this, but I'm going to start now, run this until the end of June, and post updates so we all know total so far. I'm going to use the savings account built into my cash app, and I'm seeding it with 100 dollars.

kabrams,
@kabrams@union.place avatar

this is the specific item at the Etsy shop I want to buy from.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/835408744/israeli-prayer-shawl-jewish-high?variation0=3422937966&variation1=1489893171

the size and option I want (as shown in the link) is $941 dollars, and although Judaica is often expensive this is expensive even for that. this is the tallit of my wildest dreams, that I've looked at and looked at for years and never dreamed I'd have the means to buy until friends and I came up with this plan.

kabrams,
@kabrams@union.place avatar

getting a tallit gadol is also a hugely important thing for me to do as gender-affirming.

when I had my b'nei mitzvah as a teenager, I was essentially bullied into getting a feminine styled tallit that I did not want, instead of a tallit gadol, because that was for boys. obviously I have regretted that ever since.

kabrams,
@kabrams@union.place avatar

after what I'm putting in, at a twenty dollar contribution mark it would take forty-two people to fund the rest of the tallit. I'm not expecting anything from anyone.

but I am asking, if you are my friend and you have it, please consider giving me twenty dollars as a birthday present. if you can afford to give more, please consider doing so. if you can't afford twenty dollars and you send me one dollar towards this goal you are still enormously special in my heart and I'm grateful.

kabrams,
@kabrams@union.place avatar

if you want to contribute.

and if I have made a difference in your life on here, at any point, or you've appreciated a thread I posted or learned something from me, please consider at least contributing a dollar.

my cash app is

$wheretherider

and put something, either "birthday gift" or "tallit" in the message line and I will set it immediately aside to be used for this reason and this reason only. I'll post in this thread regular updates on the total.

18+ aetataureate, to random
@aetataureate@dosgame.club avatar

deleted_by_author

    •
    kabrams,
    @kabrams@union.place avatar

    @aetataureate similarly it shouldn't be something done in public but spaces because public health is a thing and there are a lot of people adversely affected by secondhand. same as there are limitations on nicotine and alcohol in public in most locations.

    kabrams, to random
    @kabrams@union.place avatar

    just so everyone knows, @Plutonaut is a creepy able-bodied reply guy who refuses to take no for an answer and is continuing to harass me in my mentions after I've told him to go away multiple times.

    he's gonna catch a block, I've already reported him, but gee go figure a dude with a penis doesn't know how to take no for an answer.

    sounds like some sus shit to me.

    so yeah, dude this is exactly the same as talking and talking and ends with then roofieing the girl or femme person at the bar.

    kabrams,
    @kabrams@union.place avatar

    also I'm pretty sure that the Netherlands and the European Union have way stricter laws about what constitutes harassment than the United States does.

    I'm more than happy to look them up and pursue that if he doesn't leave me the fuck alone.

    I didn't consent to any of the conversations and he kept inserting himself in my mentions where unwanted. he's being an able-bodied dickhead.

    anyone want to take out the trash and school him more?

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