the_etrain

the_etrain, 4 days ago to Bloomscrolling

Any idea what I've got here? I don't remember planting this.
#bloomscrolling

Wider view of the plant itself

the_etrain, 4 days ago to random

Livin' la vida shitpost.

the_etrain, 4 days ago to random

🎶
Yo-ho yo-ho
a shitposter's life for me!
🎶

the_etrain, 4 days ago to random

ASMR, but it's just the noises my stomach makes after I convince myself the jalapeños won't hurt me this time.

the_etrain, 5 days ago to random

What is it about someone with a salesman's personality that makes me want to slap the crap out of them?

the_etrain, 5 days ago to random

Can't wait to one day tell my grandkids how I was on Mastodon in November of '22. They'll probably get sick of me talking about it.

the_etrain, 5 days ago to random

What would Cornholio do?

the_etrain, 4 days ago to random

Aaaaand all of my kids are on antibiotics again.

the_etrain, 4 days ago to random

Stella!

the_etrain, 5 days ago to random

I need a haircut and I'm fixated on the idea of @HCBunny buzzing my head right now. Probably because we'd smoke weed before, during, and after.

the_etrain, 5 days ago to random

We have a daisy

the_etrain, 5 days ago to random

Couldn't you travel back in time and kill teenage Hitler? I think you're using time travel as an excuse to kill babies, honestly.

the_etrain, 6 days ago to random

@Stoned_Deva_
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! 🎂

the_etrain, 6 days ago to random

Celebrating good blood test results by shoveling corn chips into my face.

the_etrain, 6 days ago to random

Big Bird? Filthy with bird flu. Gonzo's a little too fond of chickens. He's next.

the_etrain, 7 days ago to random

Feeling good about the economy, so I'm gonna splurge on some front alley medical procedures.

the_etrain, 8 days ago to random

Autocorrect wanted to make peanut butter jelly time into peanut butter Jesus time and I'm about to start a new religion.

the_etrain, 7 days ago to random

Basic bitch implies the existence of deluxe bitches.

the_etrain, 7 days ago to random

Sure it costs a little extra, but the luxury bitch has a much smoother ride than your basic model.

the_etrain, 8 days ago to random

Paleontologist: Ok, so this one flies.

Me: Flyosaur.

Paleontologist: We were thinking pterodactyl.

Me: Have you ever considered that you overcomplicate everything?

the_etrain, 8 days ago to random

If somebody threw a milkshake at my face, I'd go into Matrix bullet time and drink that MFer up.

the_etrain, 9 days ago to random

This guy's hanging out by my porch light, like it's bug smorgasbord or something.

the_etrain, 9 days ago to random

I just set our new outdoor lights to turn off at 11:59pm every night, but I thought, wait what if I'm up til midnight sometime? Then I laughed and laughed.

the_etrain, 12 days ago to random

Stella D'oro have started blooming! We have day lilies!

the_etrain, 12 days ago to random

So, my big take away from all of this is, who the fuck invites a woman to dinner and answers the door wearing silk pajamas?