demvoter,
demvoter avatar

And a new lemmy/kbin specific meme is born. O glorious day!

1st,

Oh no. Is this our "test post please ignore"?

interolivary,
@interolivary@beehaw.org avatar

test shit please ignore

Verity_kindle,
Verity_kindle avatar

Stover's Chocolates made with stevia. Eat 1 pound over a day or so. Tried and true formula.

sheldy13,

This! What is up with that candy?

atocci,
atocci avatar

It's the stevia, it's a sweetener but also a laxative. There's a certain brand of soda that uses stevia as its sweetener also and will have the same effect.

heartlessevil,

Then you could just eat the stevia to save on money and calories

GeekFTW,
GeekFTW avatar

Some people say we can't have nice things.

Those people don't read this thread lol.

Skuldug,

Not said yet but just some salt dissolved in water. I remember not pooping for a week coming out of a hospital stay that had me on morphine. Tried the stool softeners and such. But lemme tell you. An 8oz glass of warm water with a teaspoon of salt and 30 minutes later it was go time. When I say go time I mean be ready, when it hits there will be no delaying it.

millions,
millions avatar

I was here for the first lemmy meme

TheFriendlyDickhead,

The funny thing is, because lemmy is so small basicly everybody instantly knows whats going on

dom,

It's always magical seeing history being made

neptune,

Dave’s killer bread. Beans.

king_dead,

Google colonoscopy prep

space_gecko,

Holy crap

Wild_Mastic,

New turd just dropped

Rentlar,

Epic tier shitpost. Thanks for posting for the de-fedded instances that can't see @mizu 's post.

PelicanPersuader,
@PelicanPersuader@beehaw.org avatar

Is this the first Lemmy legend story, like the jolly rancher one is for Reddit?

Kissaki,
sussy_gussy,

OP here asks the opposite question

gamingdexter,
@gamingdexter@lemmy.ml avatar

Can’t wait to see, “New Social Platform Taking off from no Poop Post” as headlines of main streaming media sites. Thank you

Fizz,
@Fizz@lemmy.nz avatar

Why are there so many experts on this topic.

SomeGuyNamedPaul,

Oh wow, a topic for which I'm somewhat of an expert.

Get a box of cornbread mix. Dump it in a bowl. Add milk. Stir and then consume with a spoon. If you want some violence to your shits then mix a considerable amount of crushed red pepper before the milk while it's still a dry powder. The milk will help dull the impact of the CRP as you're eating it but not as it's passing, and passing fast.

With this method you should be able to make a load of poop that floats a bit and will pile up above the water line, significantly increasing the stench you leave in the bathroom.

The amateur enhancement is to also slam down a number of Fibercon tablets, but if you want to amp this up to pro-level defecation then go look in the supplements section for some stuff called "chitosan". It's like ground up shrimp and crustacean shell, and it bonds to fats so instead of being absorbed they pass through you. That plus a bunch of fatty stuff from other suggestions you'll be receiving will take your adventure to the next level. This plus swapping in heavy whipping cream for the cornbread concoction then you'll probably have bowel movements so horrible you'll have to register them with some kind of government agency.

Good luck and may your toilet paper be the good stuff.

archomrade,

Question: what kind of absolute hell would I go through if I did all of this after not pooping for 3 days?

Bonus: how bad would this be if I was actively constipated?

bane_killgrind,

Oh wow, a topic for which I’m somewhat of an expert.

Yeah this reads as fairly sarcastic, but your advice is extremely specific.

I am thinking you know your shit.

shroomato,

The fuck is wrong with you Greg

Silviecat44,

Lemmy Lore

diffaldo,

Mmh i like opposite posting

tallwookie,
@tallwookie@lemmy.world avatar

Stage 1:

  • 3 bunches of bananas, 2 lbs cooked rice, 1 loaf of white bread (toasted)

Stage 2:

  • 1 gallon of liquid laxative
  • 1 gallon of franks red hot
  • a 3 gallon bucket
  • a ladle

consume stage 1 & wait 3 hours. consume stage 2. repeat as necessary

resin85,

GOOD advice to preserve 1 gallon of space in the bucket. Proper ladle size for this application will require large displacement.

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