What is a gender neutral replacement for man, guys, buddy, etc?

So I’ve realized that in conversations I’ll use traditional terms for men as general terms for all genders, both singularly and for groups. I always mean it well, but I’ve been thinking that it’s not as inclusive to women/trans people.

For example I would say:

“What’s up guys?” “How’s it going man?” "Good job, my dude!” etc.

Replacing these terms with person, people, etc sounds awkward. Y’all works but sounds very southern US (nowhere near where I am located) so it sounds out of place.

So what are some better options?

Edit: thanks for all the answers peoples, I appreciate the honest ones and some of the funny ones.

The simplest approach is to just drop the usage of guys, man, etc. Folks for groups and mate for singular appeal to me when I do want to add one in between friends.

laurelraven,

“Foolish mortals” is my go-to gender neutral form of address

Squirrel,
@Squirrel@thelemmy.club avatar

Peeps

Note: You will sound like a tool if you say this.

ChaoticEntropy,
@ChaoticEntropy@feddit.uk avatar

Sup, peepums.

sexual_tomato,

Y’all

WeirdGoesPro,
@WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

I love “y’all”. It is one of the only things that Texas was way ahead of the curve on. It is gender neutral, easy to say, grammatically correct, and has such a long history that it doesn’t sound forced or intentionally PC.

Y’all is the way. Y’all is the future. Peace, y’all.

IzzyScissor,

And you can go one layer more and say “all y’all” when you really mean everyone. It’s a great word, I just wish I liked how I sounded when I say it.

mutter9355,

Carbon-based life forms

n0m4n,

Meat bags

current,

“Hello, losers”

BreakDecks,

“Fuckers” is gender-neutral.

gun,
@gun@lemmy.ml avatar

But it excludes asexual people /s

intensely_human,

Man, guys, buddy, etc

Just use them as gender neutral. Done.

TheGalacticVoid,

Tack on bro, sis, king, queen, and dude, and you’ve got a ton of words to choose from

OurToothbrush, (edited )

How many guys have you had sex with recently?

jsomae, (edited )

It’s context-dependent. “They” as gender-neutral was also considered context-dependent until recently.

  • “I met someone and they said…” would have been accepted generally
  • "I met a woman and they said…" is only recently acceptable.
OurToothbrush,

I agree that it can sometimes be gender neutral. I do not agree that it is gender neutral.

Referring to a group of people with a trans woman in it as “you guys” is passive aggressive for example.

jsomae, (edited )

It would be worse to treat trans women differently than other women.

Some people object to this usage of “you guys.” Some people also object to “y’all.” I know someone who dislikes “y’all” because it reminds them of confederacy and slavery.

If there is someone who expresses discomfort with certain words, it’s usually best to avoid those words in their presence.

By the way, nobody can be expected to know whether or not a woman they are talking to is transgender. “You guys” should not be avoided for the sake of trans women if it isn’t avoided for the sake of all women.

OurToothbrush,

Literally a trans woman. It is also rude to cis women but cis women don’t really worry about being misgendered the same way.

jsomae, (edited )

Literally a cis woman. I’ll avoid calling you you guys. My trans friends approve of its usage though. I don’t find its usage rude when applied to me. Please don’t try to play the identity card just to win an argument.

pivot_root, (edited )

I’m not invalidating your experiences, and you do you. I wouldn’t put it past shitty people to use it passive-aggressively as a way to misgender someone, and if you’ve experienced that, I am truly sorry you’ve had to deal with such shitheads.

At the same time, I know plenty of trans and cis women that don’t see it as rude or invalidating of their gender identity, and even use it themselves to refer to groups of people with mixed genders.

It’s a matter of boundaries and knowing one’s company. Some people are cool with it, and some people aren’t. It would be nice if everyone was using ungendered terms by default, but that’s going to take a while, unfortunately.

TheGalacticVoid,

Hoe isn’t really a gender-neutral term. It’s really rude to call someone a gardening tool.

myeyesburn,

I’m not your buddy, pal!

pivot_root,

I’m not your pal, fwend!

captain_aggravated,
@captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works avatar

I use “folks” a lot. “Howdy folks.” I am also a Tarheel so I can get away with y’all. And howdy.

WeirdGoesPro,
@WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

As a Texan, I officially give the entire country the “Howdy” and “Y’all” pass, but we’re keeping “there’s a snake in my boot” for ourselves.

Yerbouti,

Alley cats

BillSchofield,

I sound even more southern than I am because I say “y’all” frequently to avoid gendered pronouns. People, you, and we are often good. I think my favorite is “you folks”.

wolfeh,
@wolfeh@lemmy.world avatar

In the words of Kel Mitchell:

I’m a dude, he’s a dude, she’s a dude, 'cause we’re all dudes.

habitualcynic,

I heard this comment

cynar,

Doooooooude

drislands,

Pal, bud, friendo, sport, tiger, chief, boss.

JadenSmith,

I just call everyone “man” and “dude”, irrespective of gender/sex ¯_(ツ)_/¯

OneCardboardBox,

“What’s up dog turds?”

“How’s it hanging, dingleberry?”

“Nice job, Captain Hazelwood!”

I do actually know someone who speaks like this.

InputZero,

I’ve found a lot of success using pal for the individual and folk for the group. Such as “Jesse is my pal”, or “Hey folks.”

…oh shit. Palworlds a thing now. Don’t use pal.

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