It's another Flying Squid health update thread! You guys let me know if you've had enough. Edit: Some good news!

Background links:

lemmy.world/post/12194311

lemmy.world/post/13579250

lemmy.world/post/13834878

So, after nothing for a week do to the first doctor’s colossal fuckup or whatever it was, I got in to see a GI behavioral therapist today. She hypothesizes that something behaviorally triggered the heaving and the not eating and so on, possibly even the kidney stones I had a month or so before this all started (we’ll probably never know), and it just became something that never went away.

Much to my mother’s displeasure, since she’s decided that in all of her social worker schooling that she had almost 40 years ago I had a phobia, the social worker said it isn’t a phobia. It’s an aversion, but not a phobia.

So, she has a couple of things she’s having me do. First, go see another behavioral therapist in Indiana. She’s getting me a list. She says it doesn’t have to be one who specializes in GI problems, which is good, because there’s only one of those in Indiana and she’s not on our insurance.

Secondly, she is having me do deep breathing exercises, especially in the morning before I’ve done any heaving. She thinks that if I do it properly, the extra oxygen should relax my muscles and stimulate the vagus nerve, which will hopefully stop the heaving.

The only thing I didn’t like is that she didn’t let my wife sit in via Facetime or speakerphone because that was not allowed, which means I have to rely on my anxiety and stress-ridden brain to remember everything because my mother sure won’t. What a mistake to bring her along.

I’m still hoping to see an ENT while I’m here because no ENT has ever evaluated me and it’s worth an evaluation, but I’m in triage for that, so if they don’t have me go in tomorrow, I’ll have to do it in Indiana because we leave on Friday, or at least will be kicked out of this AirBnB, and my mother refuses to stay in a hotel.

Anyway, this is the first day since I got here last Monday that I actually felt like they were helping me and doing something about my problem. It would have been really fucking nice if they had done it without only a 2 day window, but it’s better than nothing.

I don’t know if they’re going to do anything for me because of what the first doctor did, but I feel like they owe me some sort of reimbursement at the very least. Apparently a patient advocate will be reaching out to me in the near future.

And now, more crazy mother stories!

From Monday:

I went to take a shower and when I told my mother, we had this conversation-

“Take your phone with you.”

“Into the shower?”

“Well what happens if they call?”

“You’ll have to answer it.”

Then I give her my phone and she asks what code she’s supposed to enter when they call. She has the same make and model of phone as I do. You don’t need to enter a code.

The best part is we had this exactly same conversation last week.

Later we go shopping and we buy a couple of boxes of Ensure (my main source of nutrition).

“How long will these 32 Ensures last you?”

“At six a day-”

“I thought you took four a day.”

“I did, but the doctor told me I should take 6-8.”

“He did?”

She was in the room at the time. It was also last week.

We are driving back-

“I thought the Mayo Clinic was going to be like the ER, where a whole team of doctors works on you at once.”

“Mom, I’ve been in the ER four times in the last year. They don’t do that there.”

“Yes they do, I’ve seen the shows!”

Then, when we get back-

“Ok, we’re back, I’m going to my room so you can have your chicken.”

“I’m not going to have my chicken yet, I’m going to get my coat off.”

“That’s fine, I’m just going to go now before it starts smelling.”

I go to my room. 2 minutes later- knock knock “I’m going to have my chicken now.”

Yesterday, she kept getting tornado alerts on her watch because it’s localized to Indiana and kept saying, “is that in Rochester?!” Yes, it’s snowy with a chance of tornadoes. She also this morning said “there’s salt on the ground. Is it slippery out?” Not anymore due to the salt.

As for today, the appointment was at 9:45. She insisted we leave at 8 to get a parking space in one of the multiple 10-storey parking garage. I was able to talk her into 8:45. She complained the whole way there that we would be late and started panicking in the car in the parking garage since there was a slow line in front of us. Then we got out and she looked at her watch and it was like 9:03. She said, “wow, we have so much time!”

I celebrated something finally happening by buying a $30 bottle of ruby port, which I am looking forward to having this evening.

We’re either leaving tomorrow or Friday and then I don’t want to see my mother for a while.

EDIT: Just got denied a Mayo ENT consult and was told to get a local one (which is fine). So I guess we’re going home tomorrow. Thank god.

EDIT 2: I just got a call from the Mayo patient advocate. They will not be charging me for the GI visit and they will be reimbursing us for some of the AirBnB cost. I appreciate them making things right.

hypoproteinosis96,

This was the CHS guy who refused to stop smoking right?

BonesOfTheMoon,

Just a question OP, I know you are not keen on online attempts at diagnosis, but have you ever considered writing to the medical mystery column at the New York Times magazine? www.nytimes.com/column/diagnosis

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I’ve never heard of it. Interesting. Thanks.

BonesOfTheMoon,

It’s at least a doctor. Hope it helps. Thinking of you!

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Thanks!

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

I can’t figure out how to submit my story. Any ideas?

BonesOfTheMoon,

I found this link: nytimes.com/…/netflix-diagnosis-series-matts-fain…

Sorry I thought it was on the page.

She also has Twitter: twitter.com/LisaSandersmd

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Great! Thanks!

BonesOfTheMoon,

Never enough. I really care about you and want to hear all the outcomes.

kellyaster,
@kellyaster@lemmy.world avatar

Hey, I saw the other post you made. Sorry I missed this. I’m stoked you finally have a lead, so congrats and good luck with the referral!! And it sounds like the patient advocate did you a solid, so good on them!

Side note: what’s up with the toxicity here? Jeepers, has the Casual Conversation community always been like this?

dingus,

Why do you think your mom is unwilling to stay in a hotel over an AirBnB? A lot of times hotels are a better deal nowadays.

geophysicist,

If you’re annoyed by your mum this much, why drive half the way across the country with her for your doctor visits? You’re a grown man. With a wife. Do it yourself. And an aversion and phobia are practically the same, i.e. it’s “i don’t like it” instead of a physical medical issue.

AWistfulNihilist,

Oh wow, I totally see why @FlyingSquid would stop posting updates. This is truly shitty person behavior, it would have cost you nothing to not comment on this thread.

Instead you wasted your fucking time just being a pedantic asshole to a person who doesn’t deserve it. This is some unhinged type shit!

JFC, what a jerk.

FlyingSquid, (edited )
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

My wife is taking care of my daughter. Going by myself would have been both much more expensive, since she’s paying for my stay, and, despite her being crazy and giving me a lot of problems, it’s always helpful to have another person around to ask questions you didn’t think of.

And an aversion and phobia are practically the same, i.e. it’s “i don’t like it” instead of a physical medical issue.

I think I’ll listen to a behavioral therapist in the best hospital in the country over a random person on Lemmy who doesn’t know anything about parasympathetic nerve system GI behavioral issues. She stated very clearly that it was not a phobia when asked explicitly if it was. I’m guessing she would know better than you, especially since she had my entire medical history, all of my clinical notes, and spent about an hour talking to me before discussing this sort of thing with me.

But hey, if you know so much, how about you tell me how I’m supposed to start eating again? Let me guess- just do it. Just like how people with clinical depression need to smile more.

Edit: Here you go, Dr. Geophysicist, MD: www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4858318/

geophysicist,

So you’re a grown adult, with a wife and daughter, and your mum is paying for your stay, and you’re sat on the internet bitching about her? Get a grip

Have you even looked up the dictionary definition of aversion?

aversion

Definitions from Oxford Languages · Learn more

noun

a strong dislike or disinclination.

“he had a deep-seated aversion to most forms of exercise”

Phobia is a fear of. Aversion is a dislike of. So no its not a phobia unless you are scared of food. In the grand scheme of medical research they are pretty damn similar and your scientific paper link just sums up that the brain and nervous system have control over digestive functions. Congrats, your mother-funded trip and your expensive doctor diagnosed that you dislike food and so react when you are made to try it. They called you whiny in medical speak and pointed you to the mental health people

FlyingSquid, (edited )
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Okay, doctor. You know best.

Now please, doctor, tell me how I’m supposed to start eating. Does it involve cheering up and smiling more?

By the way, doctor… how does the heaving within five minutes of when I get up every morning for over a year involve my disliking food?

Also, doctor, why do I really want to eat food if I dislike food?

Oh, and doctor, what is your opinion of ERP and HRT / ComB model? Because the person I saw today is having me go through those therapies, so I would love your expert opinion on them. Will they make me not dislike food that I already don’t dislike? Just curious.

And also, doctor, the Mayo Clinic wasn’t expensive at all. I’m paying a total of $120. I would have thought you would have known that with your extensive medical experience.

Doctor! I just thought of another question! Why did I get my gallbladder removed if this is just about not liking food? Am I really into getting surgery?

I’m sure I’ll come up with other questions for you, doctor. You know more than any of the over a dozen medical professionals I have seen in the last year.

Bl4ze,

Hello, this user has been banned for 7 days. Sorry about this.

APassenger,

Thank you. This whole thing was toxic days ago.

geophysicist,
  1. stop being so damn dramatic. I doubt you try anything suggested seriously when youre so sure of your “woe-is-me” mentality - only you can do this
  2. recognise that your emotions and your thinking is the problem here, so think about how to separate that from the physical action of eating - maybe needs mental health support
  3. go back to bascis - babies start with foods like mashed banana, boiled pureed broccili or peas, one small spoonful and it is stopped before they decide it’s too much. Find something similar to what you do have already. Gradually reintroduce lumps into the puree
FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Wow! Thanks so much, doctor!

But wait- how is any of that going to stop me from dry heaving every morning before the thought of food even enters my mind?

And you never told me what you thought of ERP and HRT / ComB model as therapies. Which do you consider, in your professional medical opinion, to be more important in my case? Based on my medical history, of course.

stop being so damn dramatic. I doubt you try anything suggested seriously when youre so sure of your “woe-is-me” mentality - only you can do this

You’re right. All those days in the hospital, the many doctor visits around my state, the gallbladder removal, the driving 8 1/2 hours to Minnesota and staying for two weeks… I clearly never tried anything seriously. But then, having read my medical history, know know this.

recognise that your emotions and your thinking is the problem here, so think about how to separate that from the physical action of eating - maybe needs mental health support

Please explain why not a single medical professional I have seen since January 2023 has suggested this but you have, doctor. What specifically in my medical history do you base this prognosis on? What emotions in specific do I associate with eating, doctor?

go back to bascis - babies start with foods like mashed banana, boiled pureed broccili or peas, one small spoonful and it is stopped before they decide it’s too much. Find something similar to what you do have already. Gradually reintroduce lumps into the puree

Weird, doctor. Because I thought you knew my history here. Pureed foods are not possible for me to swallow despite having tried it many times. I don’t think you’ve spent a lot of time looking at my clinical notes at all.

And you still haven’t explained why you called the Mayo Clinic expensive when it cost me $120.

geophysicist,

You sound completely insufferable. Your poor mother paying for your trip to the clinic, paying for the accommodation.

You told the whole internet that their diagnosis was aversion to food. Why get mad at me for just rephrasing what your prestigious mayo clinic doctor told you before they gently showed you the exit and pointed you towards the mental health team

Pureed foods are not possible for me

See point 1

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Well don’t worry, doctor. You won’t have to suffer to me anymore.

I “told the whole internet” something that multiple people specifically requested I update them on. I didn’t even want to.

Thanks for ruining my day. I look forward to you harassing me more elsewhere on Lemmy.

subignition,
@subignition@fedia.io avatar

You are very patient. If it were me I would have blocked them after their first or second asshole reply. Absolutely audacious level of bullshit on their part. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.

DeadPand,

I wonder how you think you come across in this? 😬

geophysicist,

I know exactly how i come across in this. However I’m okay with that considering the insufferable level of whining in the original post and the enabling behaviour of other people replying

subignition,
@subignition@fedia.io avatar

It's disappointing that you're not a troll account based on your other posts. You really thought it was worth being an armchair doctor and a bully here, that spending the effort to antagonize someone was a better use of your time than just moving on or hitting the block button. Really the same energy as telling a person with depression to just decide to stop being sad. I don't know whether you woke up on the wrong side of the bed or have just grown up without developing much empathy at all, but I hope you can find better outlets for your negativity than this.

APassenger, (edited )

FS may be under significant stress. But they are also telling stories with unadulterated disdain and toxin. Stories that, if discovered by the individuals, would cause serious harm to well… Their whole family.

This isn’t the place, I wouldn’t think, to vent ones toxins. But that’s what’s happened here, and to a sympathetic, accepting audience.

Someone was going to have enough with the toxin. Enough with the idea that mom isn’t good enough while trying to be helpful.

Ive been through shit too. The people around me were going through it too. Compassion was in order on all sides.

Edit: I understand that my message isn’t the most delightful, but the down votes further indicate: lemmy has a maturity issue.

Getting care at one of the best medical institutions (despite imperfections, and yes doctors are people too) at moms expense of money, time, and emotional work. And the issue is that she’s just entirely annoying. C’mon.

I get it. But it’s the price of admission or stay home. If these threads make it to mom, it’s a problem. And it’s immortalized on the internet.

Any troll could f this up. It. Is. Immature. Fool hardy. And it’s being given a welcoming platform.

I get that the resolution was not satisfying, but there was very little gratitude in those posts. He’s not the only person on this ride.

geophysicist, (edited )

And RE the

why do I really want to eat food if I dislike food?

Ask your damn doctor that you paid so much why they told you that you dislike food. Because an aversion for food is exactly that

Edit: Keep editing your post adding more whining, I’m sure that will convince the internet that you’re not just whiny and have seen “over a dozen” doctors because you’re a medical mystery instead of that they keep passing you around because you won’t try anything they suggest that requires actual willpower

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

You think $120 is “so much?”

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

And thanks for ruining the first good fucking day I’ve had in like six months, doc. You really taught me a lesson. Don’t worry, you won’t have to deal with my “whining” in Casual Conversation again.

I can’t wait for you to start following me to other communities and harassing me there too.

geophysicist,

First good day? You wrote a long whiny, bitchy post about the doctors and your own mother who drove you across the country and paid for the accommodation so you can have the best doctors in the world tell you the same thing she’s been telling you for years. Get a fucking grip on yourself

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

She never told me that before in my entire life until this morning, doctor.

It’s weird, for someone with such intimate knowledge of my case, you keep getting a lot of very major details wrong.

And the stuff about my mother was stuff that I thought was amusing.

Anyway, you got what you wanted. You a stranger on the internet unhappy when all I wanted to do was give the update people asked me to give and I’m leaving this community.

Two things though before I go:

Can you please give me a list of other communities I will need to leave because you disapprove of my presence in?

Can you tell me what you think about ERP and HST / ComB model therapies since I’ve asked you three times now and you are a doctor with an expertise in parasympathetic nervous system behavioral issues?

geophysicist,

I’ll give you free reign of whinymedicalstories, elderlymotherdrama and weaningstories

Bl4ze,

You have been banned for 7 days. This is against the first rule of our community “be respectful”

lemann,

What an insensitive, absolute piss poor take - especially considering the sensitive nature of the discussion topic. Would have cost you literally nothing to keep this to yourself.

Mr_Blott,

Absolutely nothing your mother does sounds “crazy” rather than “elderly and concerned”

Tywele,

Next time you are not allowed to facetime someone in, ask if you are allowed to record audio. That way you can listen to it again and see if you missed anything the first time.

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Great idea! Thanks so much!

shy_bibliophile,

And if recording isn’t allowed, bring a notebook and pen. I frequently take notes at the doctor’s because I don’t trust myself to remember all the important bits later.

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

That was the idea of bringing my mother along.

You can see how that worked out.

shy_bibliophile,

Yeah I did unfortunately…hence the recommendation for a way to do it all yourself. Though I have no idea what was involved in your various appointments so maybe it’s not a feasible option.

wjrii,

Yesterday, she kept getting tornado alerts on her watch because it’s localized to Indiana and kept saying, “is that in Rochester?!”

I don’t think he knows about thundersnow, Pip.

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Does thundersnow result in tornadoes? Also, does it happen when it’s only flurries?

peopleproblems,

For the record, you have been in SE Minnesota for a small amount of time and have now experienced pretty much the entire range of weather except for the humid 105F days. Tons of snow. Lots of cold rain. Followed by snow. Then it all melting and horrible wind.

Minnesota had its first December tornadoes a few years ago.

wjrii,

For the former, I dunno if thundersnow does specifically, but clearly tornadoes and snow are not incompatible.

For the latter, eh, probably not, LOL.

MagicShel,

You been… Thunderfluffed!

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