Salvador Dalí: ‘Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing.’
I wish I would have heard this quote much sooner… I usually like to flesh out my projects/ideas from the start and it feels unoriginal or boring when it’s too derivative of other work… But everything is derivative of something. Being afraid of being “unoriginal” should never stop you from creating, or at least trying. A lot of the time the “unoriginal” work pays great homage to the original work and really does transform the result to something new and vibrant
“everyone knows something that you don’t.” it helps me to not be an arrogant dick. People are good at something.
“everyone believes they’re the hero of their own story” too many people are set on their ways and sometimes its best to realize that you can’t change their mind. Just move on and don’t get all worked up.
The context was flipping eggs for the first time because I was being too cautious about breaking the yolk. My coworker said it in passing and probably never thought of it again but over the years it’s translated into a lot of stuff.
One more: vaccines are a miracle of science that save our lives and if you are an antivaxxer you are subscribing to weaponized disinformation and being a moron.
My no nonsense easten European coworker once said “If you have even one red flag about your relationship, get out and don’t look back. Don’t waste your time.” She’s completely right. Get out before you get mired into a situation that’ll never change.
One thing that Reddit did teach me is that work doesn’t really matter and you shouldn’t knock yourself out for any job, because they’d replace you in a heartbeat and will underpay and micromanage you no matter how good a job you do.
Not sure that first bit of advice is a good blanket policy, but it depends on who’s deciding how significant a negative trait must be to constitute a red flag. Some will take this advice to mean you should expect nothing short of perfection and that’s just unrealistic. If you walk away from every flaw you find, you’ll be alone. My partner and I have been together 13 years. We are well aware of each other’s flaws, so we work on them and do what we can to mitigate the impact they have on our relationship. But we also both know that if either of us does something egregious that crosses the line, that ends the relationship. Unconditional love is stupid. There should always be conditions.
Anyway, I think it’s useful to pair that advice with “know what your red flags are” so you can identify and separate the imperfections from the deal breakers.
I think red flag means something more extreme. Like not “can’t handle failing” which is just human and more “act out in their failures by racking up their credit cards”. Which is tactical manipulation.
A good way of shifting your mentality if you’re apprehensive about something like pursuing a change of career, a new hobby or whatever, is to ask yourself the question “what if it all worked out?”.
It’s a simple thing but it can completely alter how you approach things.
Remember landmarks when traveling. You’ll know where you are once you see that landmark again. My dad told me that when we were out in the boat on the Pearl River once when I was a wee lad. I’ve never forgotten it and I am very good at navigation because of it I think.
With gps it’s easy to let navigation skills slip but it’s so important. I try to teach my relatives when opportunities come up.
I always try to look at a map before I go somewhere unfamiliar. Digital, paper doesn’t matter and you don’t really have to memorize anything in particular. Just know what way is north and the general lay of the land to build “shelves in your brain” as someone put it. Then when you see a landmark you’ve either seen it before on the map or know what “shelf” to put it on if that makes sense
Moisturize every day. Told to me by a very young looking 40 year old in a bathroom at a club when I was 16. Can confirm, am now around that age and I look late 20s.
I actually learned those in reverse #2 first. I don't like fake people and learned that being your genuine self meant people actually knew the real you and liked that person. Pretending to be something/someone else meant you were liked for something you were not and when people realized that, they would have nothing to do with someone fake like that.
But being your true self 100% of the time means that you will have opinions, feelings, likes and hates that are different from others. Peer pressure to conform can be quite bad, depending on your age. So it's not always easy to stand by the genuine person that you are. But in the end it's 1000% worth it. I have zero regrets about that.
That led to #1 eventually. If you spend your life worrying about other people's opinions of you, you have no time to actually have your own opinion of yourself, or a life. Self respect is about actually being the person you want to be. Can You live with yourself based on your actions in life? Because You are the only one who has to live your life. Making decisions based on others opinions has it's place, but only when you decide that the person you are listening to has a valid respectful opinion. Respecting yourself first helps you learn to respect others. Knowing you are a good person and behaving like one makes it really easy to dismiss other people's opinions of you, especially when they are negative or misplaced.
Not sure how you would teach that. I only learned this by being around people that did the opposite of those two things and I decided I just didn't want to be that kind of horrible person.
This is the only life we get, and only you get to make the rules for yourself.
There’s a lot of ways to interpret that, and most of them help. For instance, if you’re asking your boss for a raise, if you just say “Hey boss, gimme a raise” you’re making it hard for them. If you say “I think I deserve a raise, here are multiple, documented, examples of where I’ve helped increase revenue/fix a problem that could have cost us/improved customer retention/etc” then you’re making it easier for them because they have a list of positives to justify it.
Generally if you’re asking a question you need an answer to, or for something in particular, spend a little time thinking about the request from the other person’s point of view. What do they need to be able, and inclined, to help you? When you know that, make sure you supply it.
I’ve found it to be a powerful way of approaching discussions, and it can make a lot of situations make more sense when you realize one party didn’t do it and didn’t get what they want.
Sometimes, of course, making it easy to give you what you want just means making any other outcome harder instead. >:)
This was given to me during a Process Safety class in college, and I’ll never forget it: in the workplace, “Always have a stupid-question buddy.” Try your best to direct your questions to someone who’s not your boss as you learn the ropes. That way, you can be comfortable asking those questions on basics that really need to be asked in order to do your job properly, and not look like an idiot to the person that performs your performance reviews.
That’s great advice, and it pairs well with all the words of wisdom regarding not speaking or acting in anger.
Often people threaten in situations where they know they are powerless and cannot act, whether on a threat or anything else. When you have power and you know it, you act differently, more confidently, and as though you know nothing is lost by keeping the mouth shut until ready to act.
But your threats speak for you as well. They warn your opponent how and where you intend to strike them, should you ever be able to do so, and tell an observant enemy exactly how you think and what would frighten or piss you off, because that’s what you’re trying to do to them by threatening them.
Your entire appearance, tone of voice, and choice of words also tell an opponent a lot of the real truth about your immediate attitude and maturity level, and whether you’re personally even worth changing their course to help.
Threats are a product of fear and anger, and are not nearly as threatening as the people making them think they are. If you want to threaten, act cool and confident. Laugh at them when they start getting flustered.
“Oh” and “heh, okay” are how to respond to threats being made to you, like they just don’t matter and your real position is whatever pal, if it makes you feel better. This level of near-total non-response gives you time to evaluate the situation and do nothing you’ll regret, or to do something later that you’ve planned out far better than making angry threats in the heat of the moment.
Threats are almost always the most stupid tactic there is. You’re gonna call my boss and have my job? Not before I call him, lol. But thanks for letting me know. Have a nice day.
This is how threats telegraph weakness to people who are accustomed to holding power. If you want someone to know for sure you hold no cards, start whipping out threats.
TL;DR: Threats are best avoided until you are truly ready to act. And if you can’t act, keep it shut until you can.
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