Not religious, but “Steady plodding bring prosperity”.
All my life I have watched as many of those around me struggle to stay consistent in their lives, and have worse outcomes as a result.
Inconsistent with their savings habits.
Inconsistent in their employment efforts.
Inconsistent with their love lives.
Inconsistent with taking care of themselves.
Consistency provides a basis for better long term results. Very little success is possible in almost any endeavor without it.
Though I’ve found it personally frustrating to remain consistent in my own life, the benefits of doing so I have found to be exponential, although late and taken for granted by others who weren’t consistent.
Another is: “What are you willing to give up to get what you want?”
All too many things are zero-sum, and though consumer capitalist systems often pretend “you can have it all”, you can’t.
Honest reflection about what is most important to yourself, and what personal sacrifices are required to obtain your goal, makes the goal easier to obtain.
Many sacrifices that are needed are clear from the offset, but by being honest and willing before the endeavour, those future sacrifices are less traumatic. Other sacrifices pop up along the way, and it’s important to re-evaluate at intervals whether your end goal is still worth it.
For love: “Prequalify your spouse.”
People lead with their hearts often where their heads can’t follow.
Sure they may be attractive, or have an amazing personality, or be rich, but do you KNOW them?
Is their fading beauty or quick wit or checking balance able to really make up for their poor treatment of others, latent racism or sexism, politics, religious adherence, stance on having children, intention in the future to care for ailing family, or poor spending habits? What about if they believe it’s appropriate to hit your future kids, or demand the kids are their religion, or can’t be gay? What if they refuse to travel or relocate? What if they don’t clean up after themselves or never take responsibility for their failings?
It is imperative to long term relationship success that you spend enough time for both partners to actually understand each other, because there is more to long term compatibility related to shared values than there is to sexual attraction.
Most often this advice results in people realizing they haven’t given enough thought themselves to what and why they believe is the best way to live their own lives, and where those values came from.
Don’t set yourself alight to keep yourself warm. Not always easy, but it is something I believe. You can only do so much if someone isn’t willing to help themself.
I stopped drinking like 10 years ago and i find it fascinating how hard it is to just stop drinking. I never really liked the taste of alcohol, so i had kind of a hard time to get tipsy, but then it snowballed. I talked about this with my frinds who were bigger drinkes than me often. The conversation was always like:" you know how you get drunk, having a grand old time, and instead of stopping, you just keep going, and it's never getting better, just worse?" And we often tried to stay in the sweet spot, but everything ALWAYS went out of control, well knowing that it's gonna end up bad.
Oof, that’s rough. Congratulations on staying off the drink for 10 years though. That’s really solid work. Very impressive.
I personally can keep myself in the sweet spot all night and well into the next morning and almost never get messy and truly believe it’s down to that “Ease down, son. You’ve a stomach full of booze to come” that pops into my head.
“You’re an adult. You get to enjoy whatever you like.”
Stuffed animals? Legos? Video games? Cartoons? I’ve been made fun of all my life for liking “stupid stuff” or “kid stuff” (even as a kid).
I pay my taxes. I’ve lived life long enough to know that I deserve to be happy. What kind of miserable shit-head would make fun of me enjoying something? Someone whose opinion has no value to me, that’s who.
I look back and regret not embracing things I had interest in.
I was made fun of for my Pokémon cards so I threw them away. I was told that my drawings are weird so I stopped. After being constantly told that video games were “a stupid waste of time” and that I “should be doing something productive”, I boxed them up and gave them away.
Now Pokémon cards are cool and there are worldwide tournaments. I look wistfully at talented artists & animators and wish I hadn’t given up. Video games can now be considered “art” and are openly enjoyed by so many.
I’m too old to let others dictate what I should & shouldn’t like. I wear fun clothes, collect stuffed animals, nerd out over Zelda lore, paint miniatures for DnD games. Why? Because I enjoy it and I deserve to be happy in what I like.
I hope that you will one day feel that you are able to enjoy things openly, too.
some adults enjoy making fun of other people. they are often miserable shit-heads of course, but let them enjoy their hobby too. doesnt hurt to be able to laugh at yourself.
No, fuck that. That’s like the paradox of tolerance or free speech - “tolerate the intolerant,” “hate speech is free speech.”
I liked how someone else put it a few months ago: tolerance comes with a contract: tolerate everyone. If you break this contract, you’re OUT.
So, yeah. I’ll live and let you live - as long as you don’t step on my toes. As soon as that happens, I’ll tell you to fuck right off (not you, OP, but that ‘miserable adult making fun of me.’)
Of course, if the other party is just being genuinely and harmlessly funny, that’s another story.
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