I have found out tonight that the man’s ring tone has changed for me, from Sabotage to Beautiful by Snoop Dogg. Nawwww. When the kid rings (that’s a rarity) it’s Daddy Cool. When she calls me it’s Bad Moon Rising.
Muppets covers make everything better btw. I might’ve posted this before but this is the alarm I wake up to every weekday morning: youtu.be/iRNl0iWE490
I loved the Muppets growing up. Watch it every Saturday Night. Beaker and Animal were my favourites. Probably because they are weirdos like me. Oh memories.
I think you can set them to start out low then they get louder. Saying that I’ve never put a ring tone on. I’ve always handballed it off to someone more capable.
Drove the return trip. 55 minutes, which included 2x10 mins of continuous dead stop while the trams, cops, and us drivers in both directions all wait for a protest to roll past.
At least some of the cops seem to be in a good mood, reminding them to turn their flashy lights on and then a few moments later, playfully slammed the door of their colleague’s car a few times.
I’ve finally been able to disrespect one of those stupid cattle gate things at Coles. Apparently the robot didn’t like that after paying I put my groceries in my backpack. So I walked through them anyway. It started screaming the song of its people (“BE-BE-BE-BE-BE-BE-BEEP”), but that’s not my problem. I paid for my damn drink, I don’t really care if a robot gets upset about it
Nobody really cared, although the fact my skin is about the same colour as their logo probably helped 🤷🏼
I always enjoyed ignoring the beeping of the alarms in Myers, and moved on to a casual refusal of bag checks when requested. Self empowerment is a wonderful thing 🤣
I’ve decided to match the staffs energy. If they ask to see my bag respectfully I don’t really want to be a dick about it, but I’ve had a door people that act like they’re in Coles’ secret service, or the Australian Federal Supermarket Police and I think those ones deserve it
I’ve always been respectful, but most bag checks are just a form of theatre designed to deter honest people from stealing and really just waste everyone’s time.
The last time I had a bag checked was at Customs, which was sort of fun because I got to go through all my souvenirs again. The customs officers were very friendly about it too, so the supermarket people must be channelling someone else if they are grumpy about it.
These aren’t usually centre security at my store (I think they chill in an office and come if called) although the Coles at my former one hired their own security. My plan is to match their energy though. Not sure anyone remembers but a while ago I was at the coles at Melbourne Central and bought some cordial then realised I forgot to buy a bag after I’d already paid and the stupid thing didn’t give me a receipt (just my luck, the register I chose had no receipt paper). Security bloke saw me paying for a bag with a tub of ice cream on the side and snuck up behind me and jump scared me almost screaming “YOU DID BOT PAY FOE THAT ICE CREAM”. I know security people have a job to do, and a large part of their job is loss prevention, but after that I developed a bit of a personal policy that I won’t engage with people if they’re being disrespectful.
If they ask nicely, or at least demand respectfully that I show them my receipt, I’ll oblige. Otherwise they aren’t going to see it until they stop acting all above me
I’ve had a security guard (or Woolies employee) demand to check my bags. I said sure but they need to put everything back exactly as I had it. Exactly.
Shut them up real quick.
I’ve also had a security guard ask me to check my bags and I just said no, I’m on my way home. He was dumbfounded and stood there.
Lol I hope the damn thing snaps in half. Luckily for my destructive side, they don’t instantly open by themselves. They make you stand there waiting for it to detect you as a person most of the time, so without it even accusing you of thievery you still get an opportunity to ram it
I’m a bit too scared to go that hard on them, Coles deffo strikes me as the sort of company to somehow get cops to track you don’t then try to sue you for the cost of the barrier (+ a 75% commission to the bosses mates who install them), so I think my game plan is to just gently but firmly nudge
That’s a good approach to take. Now I’m not going to tell you the secret, that they swing open with virtually no force required, because if you knew the secret you’ve just lost your honest plausible deniability regarding the amount of force it takes! Sorry CEO, no secretes for you.
Pakey doesn’t have any of this shit yet. Thank god. I suspect cause they know how well it’ll go over with pakey. And it ain’t gonna stop the drugged up bogans anyway.
I actually sound a bit like a bogan sometimes, and when I’m wearing my outback style leather hat I look the part too. Maybe that’s why nobody cares what I do
Told the wife “you know, I think they’re lying to you” “who?” “Square enix. I’m pretty sure this isn’t the FINAL fantasy, I bet there will be another one!”. I can’t say how satisfying the groan and look on her face was.
I need some movie comedies to watch tomorrow night because the kid’s going to friend’s to sleep over which means the Cookie Monster’s coming to town. Please recommend. I have Foxtel, Prime, Netflix and Stan.
Yes that Elvira. Full title is Elvira : Mistress of the Dark. It’s beautifully absurd. The accidentally cursed Southern Baptist picnic orgy stands out.
The Broken Lizard films are generally good for a Cookie Monster visit. Super Troopers is a classic. Beerfest too but that is kinda aimed at the drinkers.
The snozzberries taste like snozzberries…
Edit: Super Troopers is on Disney+ my bad. Apparently Foxtel Now has Beerfest.
Sometimes I ask myself why I write stupid poetry because it sounds lame and stupid, and then I read the lyrics to some popular songs and realise my writing is perfectly fine.
Out for dinner northside tonight, would take me at least an hour each way on PT vs 30 minutes driving, and I don’t need to worry about sketchy people on PT home. So I’ve splashed on a carshare thing for a few hours tonight, still cheaper than taking cabs both ways.
I hate that I’ve become so car centric but it really is such a fuck trying to cross the Yarra. I just don’t have the energy and patience that I had when I was younger and licenceless to spend ages on PT.
I got Melbcat’s special antibiotics. They’re so bitter that she walked around the house drooling and foaming and seems to feel sick. Doesn’t want her medicated dinner. :( This is going to be a fun ten days.
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