flexghost,
@flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

When you were partying, I studied the blade. When you were having premarital sex, I mastered the blockchain. While you wasted your days at the gym in pursuit of vanity, I cultivated inner strength. And now that the world is on fire and the barbarians are at the gate you have the audacity to come to me for help.

It's a thread!

1/

Video of FIRE BLADE! A blade spewing fire at your enemy and also all over the drapes the carpet the cat and everyone near

Haste,
@Haste@mastodon.social avatar

@flexghost Your bullshit always brightens my day

finalman,
@finalman@mastodon.gamedev.place avatar

@flexghost This does not look like an indoor type activity to me.

Especially if your walls are made of paper.

flexghost,
@flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

@finalman 🔥🔥

Kierkegaanks,
@Kierkegaanks@beige.party avatar

@flexghost While you built a family I chose the red pill and swallowed it

Sir_Osis_of_Liver,
@Sir_Osis_of_Liver@beige.party avatar

@Kierkegaanks @flexghost

I took the blue pill, and, well, it's been 4 hours, and I now have to consult a physician.

Awkward.

flexghost,
@flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

@Sir_Osis_of_Liver @Kierkegaanks lol

flexghost,
@flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

@Kierkegaanks Sigma male grindset

flexghost,
@flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

It's a thread!

2/

Prev vid was a fire blade? This is a lightsaber. Not like that fat kid stumbling his way into memedom. She's is SO good at this that she will never be a meme. How does that work?

rlstone4dems,
@rlstone4dems@mastodon.social avatar

@flexghost I swear that if I slipped and fell into where she was swinging that light saber, I'd be cut into smithereens...

flexghost,
@flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

@rlstone4dems Mmmm that sounds like a candy

flexghost,
@flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

It's a thread!

3/

Alright, we did a fire blade and a lightsaber which I think is plasma? What's next? ELECTRO BLADE! It shoots bolts into a grounded hoop. It's user is wearing a body condom from The Naked Gun

PsychoMiko,
@PsychoMiko@mastodon.social avatar

@flexghost Holy Moly

flexghost,
@flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

It's a thread!

4/

Ok. We did fire, plasma and electricity so far. Time for a Final Fantasy III Ice blade! Some dude makes this in the ice and its gigantic

flexghost,
@flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

It's a thread!

5/

Ok we did a lot of fancy blades but what about plain old regular blades and skill. This video is various people trying to cut through multiple bamboo stalks with one cut of the blade. Until the chosen one does it at the end of the video.

flexghost,
@flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

It's a thread!

6/

Cat comes up to man pumping gas

flexghost,
@flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

It's a thread!

7/

Did you think something was going to happen to that man or that cat?

That's the power of juxtaposition.

That's how some Chud's horrible, bad-faith political arguments work on social media.

Kek.

flexghost,
@flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

It's a thread!

8/

A Beautiful woman masterfully cutting bamboo in a way where it stays in position until the second blow

faraiwe,
@faraiwe@mastodon.social avatar

@flexghost cc @sneakybastard

flexghost,
@flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

It's a thread!

9/

Two shirtless dummies hitting their swords together. I have TONS of videos of Chad and Skyler drunk and showing off then cutting off pieces of each other. Should I post them?

flexghost,
@flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

It's a thread!

10/

Video of a beautiful woman doing a fan dance. No swords. However SCHWING!

flexghost,
@flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

It's a thread!

11/

Sword portion complete. Commence the Rondo.

Video with image of Rick Astley

flexghost,
@flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

It's a thread!

12/

Classic video of lady making wine then making whine

flexghost,
@flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

It's a thread!

13/

Doc holds up his hands, patient meets his hands to make a heart. Doc slaps her away revealing his was motioning for a syringe

flexghost,
@flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

It's a thread!

14/

Student stares in disgust at other student wiggling on the floor with his shirt pulled over his head "dancing"

flexghost,
@flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

It's a thread!

15/

CW: fun language

family waiting for son who enters the room three times as tall as them and swearing like a sailor

brothersoul,
@brothersoul@mstdn.social avatar

@flexghost Now I wanna see this movie. What is it? lolol

Brother

flexghost,
@flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

@brothersoul

The Food of the Gods II, do you have bad movie night, too?

flexghost,
@flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

It's a thread!

16/

An albino snake writhing on a silky soft velvety blanket

flexghost,
@flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

It's a thread!

17/

A dude ingesting an alpha, beta and gamma emitter into his lungs for... science

flexghost,
@flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

It's a thread!

18/

This girl embodies most of us here. Falls on her head then gets up cheering for herself for a job well done

flexghost,
@flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

It's a thread!

19/

Man dancing in the store who just keeps it moving as patrons walk around him Young woman starts dancing and a crowd gathers

EarthOne24,
@EarthOne24@mastodon.social avatar

deleted_by_author

    •
    flexghost,
    @flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

    @EarthOne24 If they were dancing in front of me and I was this hungover and buying a pedialyte I would walk past them while cursing them

    brothersoul,
    @brothersoul@mstdn.social avatar

    @flexghost love IT!! "sorta"

    flexghost,
    @flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

    @brothersoul 😂

    flexghost,
    @flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

    It's a thread!

    20/

    Love you all. ❤️ Well, most of you.

    Video of the happiest face puppy running along in slow mo

    rlstone4dems,
    @rlstone4dems@mastodon.social avatar

    @flexghost Flexghost: Right back at you, my friend. ❤️🌸

    Hellybootwader,
    @Hellybootwader@mastodon.scot avatar

    @flexghost I…what….but….
    Why?!?

    flexghost,
    @flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

    @Hellybootwader 😂

    Nonya_Bidniss,
    @Nonya_Bidniss@mas.to avatar

    @flexghost OMFG

    flexghost,
    @flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

    @Nonya_Bidniss right? Apparently he made it into his 80s

    Nonya_Bidniss,
    @Nonya_Bidniss@mas.to avatar

    @flexghost I really want to know what it was

    flexghost,
    @flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

    @Nonya_Bidniss 😃

    UrNotTheBossOfUs,
    @UrNotTheBossOfUs@mastodon.social avatar

    @flexghost

    Later that week at the hospital cafeteria:

    Man glowing in the dark sitting at a table.

    flexghost,
    @flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

    @UrNotTheBossOfUs 😂

    actualddv,
    @actualddv@mstdn.party avatar

    @flexghost

    video/mp4

    flexghost,
    @flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

    @actualddv You should try some

    actualddv,
    @actualddv@mstdn.party avatar

    @flexghost I'll load my cocktail smoker with it and report back

    flexghost,
    @flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

    @actualddv lol. You smoke more than cocktails.

    actualddv,
    @actualddv@mstdn.party avatar

    @flexghost @actualddv what are you implying

    flexghost,
    @flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

    @actualddv Pole.

    EarthOne24,
    @EarthOne24@mastodon.social avatar

    deleted_by_author

    •
    flexghost,
    @flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

    @EarthOne24 lol

    ramsey,
    @ramsey@phpc.social avatar

    @flexghost Looked it up. It’s from a 1989 movie, The Food of the Gods II. I might have to check it out. 🤣

    flexghost,
    @flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

    @ramsey If you like bad movies check out RedLetterMedia on YouTube. They have a show called best of the worst. The ones with macaulay culkin are comedy gold

    WorkWithKirk,
    @WorkWithKirk@mstdn.social avatar

    @flexghost Of all the challenges of dating as a single parent, introducing your date to your child is the most fraught.

    flexghost,
    @flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

    @WorkWithKirk GO TEAM VENTURE

    rlstone4dems,
    @rlstone4dems@mastodon.social avatar

    @flexghost LOL.

    screambiogenesis,
    @screambiogenesis@mastodon.social avatar

    @flexghost The snap transition from "well yes, of course I succeeded, for I am a badass" to "OMG YAY!" is perfect.

    BlueDot,
    @BlueDot@left-tusk.com avatar

    @flexghost

    It takes an immense amount of training to make it look this easy.

    flexghost,
    @flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

    @BlueDot I bet!

    ianhecht,
    @ianhecht@saskodon.ca avatar

    @flexghost Okay, but why does the suit have nipples? Was this a failed villain from Batman & Robin?

    flexghost,
    @flexghost@mastodon.social avatar

    @ianhecht Why doesn't yours?

    HighlandLawyer,
    @HighlandLawyer@mastodon.social avatar

    @flexghost Her YouTube channel is https://youtube.com/@michelle-c-smith

    Wraithe,
    @Wraithe@mastodon.social avatar

    @flexghost you can always tell the kids who did baton twirling!😀 That catch 2/3ds way through is awesome.

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