IzabelaKaramia,
@IzabelaKaramia@writing.exchange avatar

Slowly getting moving this morning. Down to the last 2 days here. Feelings tend to veer back and forth all over the place regarding it.

I've got stuff to get done today so I'll be ready to do the final things tomorrow and have myself ready for when my ride to the airport shows up to take Ginza and me there.

This week when I've been waking up and that gets Ginza moving, she gets up from where she sleeps between my legs and comes up to sniff my face. That's different.

IzabelaKaramia,
@IzabelaKaramia@writing.exchange avatar

She also purrs and I pet her and that makes her very happy, though she maybe is annoyed at how slowly I get up and get to the business of feeding her breakfast.

IzabelaKaramia,
@IzabelaKaramia@writing.exchange avatar

It's a morning where I'm glad adderall is helping me focus and think about what needs to get done. Soon I need to get dressed and start taking care of things, but for right now, I'm going to drink my tea and give my brain happy feels by studying Norwegian.

IzabelaKaramia,
@IzabelaKaramia@writing.exchange avatar

I almost feel panicky at times but I do the thing I hate doing the most and I called the electric utility 800 number to schedule stop of service. Though I only chose that option because their internet service page isn't working. Grrrrrrrr. So that took almost 20 minutes and I had to listen to lots of garbage

Last load of laundry is in dryer.

IzabelaKaramia,
@IzabelaKaramia@writing.exchange avatar

Realized a smart thing to do now is pack full all my bags that are going tomorrow. All the essentials and then choosing from items I would like to keep and thus find out which ones I say goodbye to. But better to do it now and minimize possible stress tomorrow.

IzabelaKaramia,
@IzabelaKaramia@writing.exchange avatar

The rule I've learned these past few weeks is that it always takes me longer to sort and organize than I can even imagine. Still making progress, I've got tomorrow's bags organized and can start tossing stuff or seeing if others might want a thing or two.

My big fear is that somehow I've managed to keep motivated and adrenalized enough that when I finally do get to what feels like an end, I will collapse and being unable to do much of anything for weeks or months to come.

IzabelaKaramia,
@IzabelaKaramia@writing.exchange avatar

Still, despite lack of lots of energy and spoons, I feel that me learning that I am ADHD and autistic has been helpful to find ways to manage my time and resources and keep me from feeling too overwhelmed, though I have had times where I've had to step back and rest and recover.

IzabelaKaramia,
@IzabelaKaramia@writing.exchange avatar

that felt both sad and good to do. Earlier in the year, I found the cat shelters a rescue organization had built and put in the hedgerow.

So I added the shelter I built for Ginza to that line of them. I didn't want the apartment complex to just toss it out and maybe it'll provide shelter to another feral cat who has someone come along to rescue them.

IzabelaKaramia,
@IzabelaKaramia@writing.exchange avatar

I feel close to exhausted and I've had to do a lot more than I realized today. But I think I can be done or nearly all done by noon tomorrow.

Here's Ginza enjoying the afternoon sun.

IzabelaKaramia,
@IzabelaKaramia@writing.exchange avatar

I need to stop and wind myself down so I can get to sleep tonight. How did time slip away so fast today?

Need to heat up dinner, I burned a lot of calories today

IzabelaKaramia,
@IzabelaKaramia@writing.exchange avatar

Now eating the last chocolate bar that was in the cupboard

I'm feeling incredibly sad. This will be my last night here and I will be leaving the state I have lived in all my life.

IzabelaKaramia,
@IzabelaKaramia@writing.exchange avatar

Took a last look around to gauge how much I did today and what's left. Glad I did so much. It'll make tomorrow a lot less stressful.

I'm proud that I thought to do that jump ahead and see what I could pack in the baggage I will be using. Doing that simplified my decision making for many things afterward. Plus my now bags are almost fully packed, just waiting for the last items that need to remain where they are for now.

Tomorrow plan to get up 5 to 530 in morning. Drink tea,

IzabelaKaramia,
@IzabelaKaramia@writing.exchange avatar

eat breakfast, get showered.

After that get to work emptying and scrubbing bathroom. After that then scrub the kitchen.

Vacuum a final time the living room.

Then move bedroom stuff out to living room and vacuum bedroom.

I can do this.

ninetiger,
@ninetiger@writing.exchange avatar

deleted_by_author

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  • IzabelaKaramia,
    @IzabelaKaramia@writing.exchange avatar

    @ninetiger

    I hope so. It feels like I had to do so many impossible things for me to be at this point. Some of those impossible things are trivial for lots of people.

    OTOH, I gained the trust and love of a feral cat that many of those people might think is impossible or foolish.I feel my autistic brain achieved that in a way that many neurotypical couldn't imagine doing.

    That's a reason why diversity in thinking styles is important to humanity.

    GinevraCat,
    @GinevraCat@toot.community avatar

    @IzabelaKaramia Are you able to plan time for a mini-collapse on the other side of this? Allow yourself a couple of days where you only have to drink tea, pet Ginza, and rest?

    IzabelaKaramia,
    @IzabelaKaramia@writing.exchange avatar

    @GinevraCat

    I hope to have very quiet days on Monday and Tuesday.

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