We give such weird advice to kids. I remember being 12, and very shy, and people would tell me to just be myself. Now 30 years later, I'm 42, and still trying to figure that out.
@RickiTarr my mother was well into her 50s (at least) before she realized that her kids might end up having very different lives than she did. never occurred to her we might not just get married and stay home with the kids like she did. or that we might want something else, or decide on something different -- until we did, and she eventually just had to come to terms with it. and by the time she did, the damage had been done long beforehand. i understand it now but it doesn't mean i'm still not angry as hell about the gaping lack of encouragement or guidance etc etc etc.
@RickiTarr I'm sure I got the same advice, and really I tried. I even tried learning to be like other people, but it's impersonation not reality. I think it took me to about the age of 45 when I realised I was just different and not like most other people and I could never be them, just a facsimile
@RickiTarr People doesn't understand that being shy and /or socially awkward it's not the same as immature / lacking a skill, it's just the way we are.
@RickiTarr When I was in sixth grade, my emotionally abusive teacher told me, in front of the whole class, that I had a superiority complex. The opposite was true, and I was also very shy and introverted. My satisfaction comes from knowing I overcame her abuse. I am still an introvert, but no longer shy, most of the time, at the age of 77.
@RickiTarr
I got this one a lot. My accent is kind of flat (thanks speech therapy!) and i tend to use different words in speech. (Like saying "different words in speech" instead of "I talk funny")
Even had a friend remark on it years after we had gotten to know one another. She admitted that originally she thought I was "full of myself". :blobcatgiggle: @cherylgk
@RickiTarr@cherylgk I've lost count of how many people have revealed to me over the years that they thought I was arrogant and aloof when they first met me. No, I'm just an #introvert with #anxiety that went wholly untreated in the past.
Cultural mores do not allow for people who aren't gregarious and comfortable in social situations.
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