DocAtCDI

DocAtCDI, 2 months ago to random

What is your favorite thing about the beach?

DocAtCDI, 2 months ago to random

My uncle works for a company that makes bicycle wheels.

He’s the Spokesman.

DocAtCDI, 2 months ago to random

Have you heard the story about the corduroy pillow?

Apparently it's making headlines.

DocAtCDI, 2 months ago to random

What is a web developers favorite tea?

URL Grey.

DocAtCDI, 2 months ago to random

What do you call a magical bra? An abracadabra.

DocAtCDI, 2 months ago to random

People often ask me how i smuggle chocolate into the cinema?

Well..

I have a few Twix up my sleeve!

DocAtCDI, 2 months ago to random

My 3 favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

DocAtCDI, 2 months ago to random

if you like telling dad jokes and you're not a dad.

You're a faux pa.

DocAtCDI, 2 months ago to random

People ask me why I chose to teach Math rather than English. I tell them, Fractions speak louder than verbs.

DocAtCDI, 2 months ago to random

Mom: Im exhausted, I was up till 4am with the baby.

Dad: It's probably not good to keep a baby up that late....

DocAtCDI, 2 months ago to random

What do you call an annoyed lobster? A frustacean.

DocAtCDI, 2 months ago to random

When I told my Mrs I was looking at flights on the internet, she got very excited!

Which was odd as shes never shown an interest in darts before.

DocAtCDI, 2 months ago to random

What do you call a stolen Tesla? An Edison.

DocAtCDI, 2 months ago to random

What kind of horses go out after dusk? Nightmares.

DocAtCDI, 2 months ago to random

Just watched a documentary on marijuana.

I think thats how Im gonna watch all documentaries from now on

DocAtCDI, 2 months ago to random

My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.

DocAtCDI, 2 months ago to random

What’s made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe.

DocAtCDI, 2 months ago to random

One of the Russian acrobats in our human pyramid has been deported. We don’t have Oleg to stand on.

DocAtCDI, 2 months ago to random

My girlfriend broke up with me because I’m a compulsive gambler... Ever since, all I can think of is how to win her back.

DocAtCDI, 3 months ago to random

They told me I'd never be good at poetry because Im dyslexic. But so far Ive made 3 jugs and a vase and they’re lovely.

DocAtCDI, 3 months ago to random

My son got a part in his school play!

He is playing a man who has been married 25 years.

I told him not to be too upset though, he might get a speaking part next time!

DocAtCDI, 3 months ago to random

According to Greek Mythology, Chiron was half horse, half human doctor.

This made him the Centaur for Disease Control...

DocAtCDI, 3 months ago to random

My parents said that if I got a tattoo I'd have to get it in a place that didnt matter... So I got it in Appleton, Wisconsin.

DocAtCDI, 3 months ago to random

My wife just said that if I don't get off my computer and help with the dishes shes gonna slam my head on the keyboard but I think shes jokinhwnnriowenjauhuhyfewbh48943983wbedjhhfws7hg873243nbiu2q378hgfdbuifqbqwuiehguh-asdhnjqweiorijndaklajhb

DocAtCDI, 3 months ago to random

My wife just told me to put the toilet seat down. I don't know why I was carrying it around in the first place.