@Jorsh@beige.party
@Jorsh@beige.party avatar

Jorsh

@Jorsh@beige.party

:ace_heart: 🤘🇨🇦
See Pinned For Bio

SFW account (Questionable), except for fucking swears.

#AntiFascist and #AntiHate

Avatar is myself, wearing spiked goggles, a bandana, a Motörhead tee shirt, headphones around my neck, and fingerless gloves. I'm grinning like a moron and flashing the heavy metal devil horns.

Header is a screenshot from Thems Fighting Herds, and depicts the cow Arizona lassoing the goat Shanty, who makes a funny face. Credit to Mane6.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

Jorsh, to random
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BEEFQUAKE

RickiTarr, to random
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Y'all, I'll never get over this still from my husband's Workplace Harassment Seminar. They knew what they were doing, no way they didn't!

Jorsh,
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@RickiTarr

That looks like a decoy to lure predators.

Seriously, are his legs thin like poles or what?

GrimmReality, to random
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Aw, one of the off-brand streaming services just recommended Lois & Clark to me and it's just so cute that standard tv algorithms haven't yet accounted for the fact that viewers may not want to bask in the gauzy nostalgia of a show where the lead actor went on to become an actual neo-Nazi.

Jorsh,
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@GrimmReality

Fucking Dean Cain.

Alice, to random
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It's a courtroom show about a Nu Metal singer who went to law school and now he's known as Judge MeNtAL.

Jorsh,
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@Alice

Start engraving my Emmy, bitches.

Alice, to random
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This may be the finest moment in the history of Words With Friends!

(courtesy of @josephthomas)

Jorsh,
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@Alice @josephthomas

On an unrelated note, did you know that "goatse" isn't a legal word?

Alice, to random
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I dated a guy for about a week when I was a teenager and I just googled him and found a YouTube video of him doing standup comedy which is interesting because I don’t remember him being particularly funny and the video serves as proof that he still isn't.

Jorsh,
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@Alice

Omigosh you dated Daniel Tosh!?

Jorsh, to random
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Says the man who single-handedly beat comedy into a coma of unfunny in the '90s.

Jorsh, to random
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Steampunk is the superior form of punk simply because you can scald your enemies.

Jorsh,
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@mentallyalex

I don't, I was just making a funny, sorry Alex 😔.

Jorsh,
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@mentallyalex

🎵Wild Wild West Yipee-Oh🎵

Alice, to random
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I broke up with someone because they tried to say that "Crash Into Me" by Dave Matthews Band was "our song."

Jorsh,
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@Alice That dude has issues. Actually, both. Both do.

Alice, to random
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Don’t invite me to pickleball if you don’t want to see me smackin' my gherkin.

Jorsh,
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@Alice

Pickled balls, amirite?

Jorsh, to random
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Do modern day witches have to settle for riding Roombas?

theropologist, to random
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THE FLOOR IS LAVA

Jorsh,
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@theropologist

THE FLOOR IS MAGMA

(I live in a volcanic chamber)

RickiTarr, to random
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I refuse to get pregnant, because even though no one will admit it, I'm pretty sure that fetus controls you from the inside like I'm a mech suit for it.

Jorsh,
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@RickiTarr

I love you, Ricki. Never stop being amazing.

GrimmReality, to random
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I think we tend to be quick to judge people who drive down the avenue blasting music with the windows open and that is why I will send props to whoever just drove down the avenue blasting Chris Isaak with the windows open because it's like WOOOOO I AM SAD MOTHERFUCKERS BE SAD WITH ME, to which I respond "yup, ok."

Jorsh,
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@GrimmReality

cruising down the road in a Ford F150, blaring Harry Nilsson's Without You

Jorsh, to random
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It's time.

adhdeanasl, to random
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This REALLY happened Sunday morning:

Me: trimming my sideburns Ugh, I hate how fast my hair grows over my ears.

Jen: yeah, it’s so EARitating!

Me:

Jen: HUR HUR DE HURRR

Jorsh,
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@adhdeanasl

JEN IS A DAD!?!?

Alice, to random
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Given the uncontrollable urge for reply guys to reply, I’m going to take a "Sent from my iPhone" approach to Mastodon and end all of my posts with "This is just a joke."

This is just a joke.

Jorsh,
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@Alice

I don't know if this is a joke. I demand you make up for my shortcoming by revealing the japery.

Alice, to random
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Please don’t diminish your self worth. You're not ONLY my fan. You're also how my bills get paid.

Jorsh,
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@Alice
But am I your OnlyFan?

Jorsh, to punk
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AWOL - Tear 'Em To Bits 🇦🇺

StillIRise1963, to random
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One of the biggest threats to democracy in the United States is the corrupted Supreme Court.

Jorsh,
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@StillIRise1963

I'd argue that every democracy on Earth is at stake right now. Many of these fascist pockets are taking their cues from the US and UK.

Jorsh, to random
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Aaaaaand here comes the rain.

Jorsh,
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I'm sitting on the porch with a vape, my tablet, and some music.

Jorsh,
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@mentallyalex

Work has been crazy the last two weeks, so the quiet afternoons are an immense pleasure.

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