@qurlyjoe@mstdn.social
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qurlyjoe

@qurlyjoe@mstdn.social

Retired git on Colorado’s Front Range. I take photos of birds and critters and flowers and mountains and skies I was a failure at that other place. My only followers were apparently pornbots. Photos are my own. Jokes and memes, not so much. I will boost alt-texted photos. Avi = me 70 years ago. https://justmytoots.com/@qurlyjoe@mstdn.social searchable Striving inconsistently to be inconsistently inconsistent.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

qurlyjoe, to random
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It’s easier to make a baby than it is to make a cake.

-Harold, a character in a book by that name, by Steven Wright.
It’s like reading a standup routine by Wright, presented by an average 3rd-grader, growing up in the 60s.
If you like Steven Wright, I invite you to try this book. It’s hard not to hear it in Steven’s voice, but that’s on me.

I guess animals are into bestiality?
-Harold again. But what 3rd-grader knows about bestiality?

qurlyjoe, to HashtagGames
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Your imaginary friend isn’t real, no matter how many millions of people think otherwise.

qurlyjoe, to HashtagGames
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Frodo farts like a sick dog, in his sleep.

futurebird, to random
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This is my second most popular post on tumblr and I think it explains tumblr better than anything.

qurlyjoe,
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@futurebird
You have to pay to see stuff like that on the porn sites. So I’m told.

qurlyjoe,
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@futurebird
Or maybe a source of income on OnlyFans. So I’m told.

dabertime, to random
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The forward travel speed variance between weekdays and weekends is one of the biggest challenges in Time Travel.

qurlyjoe,
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@dabertime
At least now the machines are all computerized. Digital in/out puts, AI to do the actual calibration. Back in the day, the damn dials on the front of the box were all analog. We were lucky to set it to anything finer than a century, plus or minus.

qurlyjoe,
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@dabertime
This is true, of course. But that’s the responsibility of the techies, right? We’re just along for the ride any more. It’s just, Alexa, take me back to that night again, you know the one. Or Siri, for the Apple fanbois.

DemocracySpot, to photography
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qurlyjoe,
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@DemocracySpot
Well, now that you mention it I can see that. Couldn’t tell before looking at the alt-text. Cool.
In my defense, I didn’t wait long before looking at it.

geordie, to random
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Kid: "I'm going to have a shower."

Me: "Good. Style your hair. Put on cologne."

lol, he has never worn cologne.

qurlyjoe,
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@geordie
Sounds like you’re doing better than my parents managed. I got a can of spray deodorant for Xmas when I was 14. Rightly or wrongly, I’ve never used a deodorant since. It’s like the joke where a geezer says to his doc, “I’ve been farting a lot but at least it’s silent.” And his doc says, “Right. Let’s start with replacing the batteries in your hearing aids.”

qurlyjoe,
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@geordie
Everything came in a spray can in 1964. Does Cheez-Wiz still exist?

QasimRashid, (edited ) to random
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POLL: How do you get your coffee?

qurlyjoe,
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@QasimRashid
I buy roasted beans from a guy (wife calls it my drug deal) and grind and brew at home. One day a week, Sunday mornings, I splurge and get a cafè au lait from a shop cuz that’s just one step too many. They do it proper, too. None of that steamed foamy shit.

BlippyTheWonderSlug, to random
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I'm assuming I can get these to go?

qurlyjoe,
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@BlippyTheWonderSlug
Can I mix & match “ingredients” on the online menu?

TheBreadmonkey, to random
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Apropos of nothing... I sometimes find myself re-following people I previously followed. This isn't because I hate you (or is it?....), but because I'm a bit of a Fedi advocate and will occasionally go through and auto unfollow people who haven't been active for a while. Because I assume they are instead living out their lives on other platforms, which is fine and I don't care, but I curate my experience for and with the people involved in what I perceive to be my community. My benchmark for this is usually a month+, but I accept I might sometimes get this wrong and also that sometimes people may (inexplicably) just not post for a while. So please don't take it personally if you're someone who's not as (MENTAL I CAN'T HELP IT) engaged as me and I unfollow. You are more than welcome to call me out on it. I love the Fediverse and am keen to build a network of likeminded people. I just don't like it when people are mainly present on other platforms but come here to post their 'best posts' for clout. Vive la Fedi and all who sail in it. I love you. X

qurlyjoe,
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@TheBreadmonkey @LikeItOrLumpIt @RacerX
I’m gonna need subtitles for that. I think my new hearing aids aren’t fast enough or something.

qurlyjoe,
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@TheBreadmonkey
I can get the general drift (is that another one?) ok but the details get lost, especially when they’re laughing. This is a frequent problem for me when watching Brit humour, like QI or 10 cats.

@LikeItOrLumpIt @RacerX

qurlyjoe, to random
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Violets in my front yard.

qurlyjoe,
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@rupert 🤣

qurlyjoe, to random
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Do bird angels have four wings?

Harold, a character in a novel by Steven Wright, the comedian.

gknauss, to random
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Anti-Billion Dollar Idea: Sniff LLM crawler user-agents and serve them garbage.

qurlyjoe,
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@the_other_jon
No, feed them terabytes of it.

@gknauss @glennf

qurlyjoe,
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@the_other_jon
When’s your IPO? Asking for a friend

@gknauss @glennf

qurlyjoe, to random
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Bubba and Johnny Ray.

qurlyjoe, to random
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@Wileymiller
Et tu, Wiley? Today’s comic is perilously close to both-sides-ism. 🤣😉

P.S. I really really like a good patty melt. I also really really like a good burger. So, me too.

lowqualityfacts, to random
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qurlyjoe,
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@lowqualityfacts
I dunno about Apple seeds, but peach pits for sure contain cyanide. https://www.poison.org/articles/are-peach-pits-poisonous-224

qurlyjoe, to random
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Everything you have ever done in your life has led to your reading this toot at this precise time. 🤯

qurlyjoe,
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@pochitoque
I know what you meant. 😉

qurlyjoe, to random
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qurlyjoe,
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@toridas_
Yeah, they sure start out cute af, but quickly develop into cobras with feet. 😉 I should add that to the alt-text.

GottaLaff, to random
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While moving is stressful in many ways (and exciting in even more), it’s a piece of cake compared to the stress I feel from politics.

Speaking of which, today is Pack More Stuff Day, Open House Day tomorrow… so I won’t be around much.

If news breaks— well, you know the rest.

qurlyjoe,
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@GottaLaff @PandaChronicle @thepoliticalcat @patmadigan
It’s kind of amazing how much stuff you can cram into a 2-bedroom condo if you live there for 40 years.

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