@GrimmReality@beige.party
@GrimmReality@beige.party avatar

GrimmReality

@GrimmReality@beige.party

I do dumb history jokes, occasionally pimp my angry left-ass rock songs, post tons of filthy invective at right-wing assholes. Introduced the verb "embitch" to the language, I believe, and, CW, use the c-word as if I am Scottish but am not.

Vet my profanity-ridden ravings here: https://justmytoots.com/GrimmReality@beige.party

If you are self-ascribed MAGA or a neo-Nazi, which are one thing, don't bother, you'll eventually rage-type some racist shit and get 86ed so let's save us all the time.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

GrimmReality, to random
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The best part of the IT revolution is those little phone headsets you can wear and just walk down the street having a conversation because now that's what people probably think I am doing when I am walking down the street and say "Shut up, asshole" to my brain.

GrimmReality, to random
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We should definitely listen to the thoughtful opinions of anti-protest pro-war "liberals" because it requires nuanced, textured, deliberative analysis to recognize that skeevy draconian right-wing authoritarian politicians are bad and malign in nearly every respect but then suggest that we should give those exact people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to programmatic mass murder.

GrimmReality, (edited )
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There may be no line of reasoning more exhaustively beshitted than the one that says I should respect people who have been categorically, catastrophically wrong about about fucking everything in my lifetime, specifically because their dumb sociopath ideology demands they be shitty people who fuck absolutely everything up, and I should do that because those sociopaths are suddenly Good in those peculiar moments when they can do the most amount of pointless murderous world-cratering damage.

It's fucking insane and I would think anyone who posited it might have some kind of gaping headwound but, nope, they're just smart and prudent people who have figured out a way to nod whitely at giving blank checks to psychos.

GrimmReality, to random
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I will beat the estimates of any other baby-proofing service on the market because my baby-proofing service is just me driving up to your house and dropping a big box of condoms and RU-486 on your stoop.

GrimmReality, to random
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Not sure when Tony Evers became a hot Latina woman but I'd have thought it would have been bigger news.

GrimmReality,
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Not saying Tony Evers wasn't hot before, that is subjective and some people may have a thing for giant gawky cis-het nerdmen, just saying this is a pretty different presentation.

GrimmReality, to random
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I appreciate wedding party barcrawls and you guys should have a ton of fun celebrating two people who love each other so deeply as to make a solemn commitment to each other, because that is truly a wonderful thing, but also you should call up every bar you're thinking of barcrawling to and just ask if Grimm drinks there and if they say "yes," you should fuck off to another bar, you gleeful twats.

GrimmReality,
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I am being as nice about this as I possibly can because I want your singular night to be as memorable and perfect as it possibly can be someplace I am not. It works to both our benefits, really.

GrimmReality,
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Absolutely true story, I used to full-on heave-cry at nearly ever wedding I attended or was in the party of in my twenties because the poetic and public commitment to love just seemed such the pure, sweet potential of humanity to me, and then about three fifths of those marriages cratered and by my late thirties I basically cringed every time someone said "forever" and took a hit from my handy Wedding Tequila Flask and resisted the urge to say "Maybe you kids should just tamp down the expectations a bit."

GrimmReality, (edited )
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BEST MAN ON THE MIC: . . . and after that, I just KNEW these two would be together forever.

ME (grumbling to myself in the back): You are fucking it all up by chaining them to impossible expectations, you fucking monster.

GrimmReality,
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Anyway, I am still ordained, I think, and am available to officiate your "blessed day" should you run out of options, or really want to stick it to particularly WASPy parents, I guess.

GrimmReality,
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Oh god, to be clear, I'm not saying people who love each other and want to spend their lives together shouldn't get married, YOU DEFINITELY SHOULD, I'm just saying people continue to become who they're in the process of becoming after that peculiarly finite moment in time and it's okay if the person you become is not completely and COSMICALLY compatible with the person the other person becomes. Like people aren't static things and it is only dumb archaic traditionalist horseshit that dictates "YOU MUST COMMIT TO STASIS."

It's cool and actually very human if you don't.

GrimmReality,
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@alexpsmith YAY FOR YOU PULLING THAT TRIGGER

GrimmReality, to random
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If AI can make them less of a stupid asshole, we can talk.

GrimmReality,
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I think a broader bit of research needs to be done on how people publicly jerking off about AI have somehow never seen a single scary movie or work of scifi or a Twilight Zone episode.

GrimmReality, to random
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Are Chipotle workers unionized? Or is Chipotle a worker-owned co-op? I'd be elated to find out either of those things are true, and would probably make my first purchase at Chipotle if they were, but, until then, I think maybe the tv ads where Chipotle workers are super-invested in their culinary labor are paramount bullshit and, thus, not a good selling point.

GrimmReality,
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Ah, the big, yet expected, reveal.
https://beige.party/@somcak/112420488552936627

GrimmReality, to random
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As it is the greatest tv show ever made, we all have our favorite Futurama moments, but the one that may resonate most with me is when the Robot Devil says "This opera is as lousy as it is brilliant" because it reminds me of some of my favorite people's social medium jokes.

GrimmReality,
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@RufusJCooter Brilliant and ALSO an absolutely functional thing to share with online pseuds!

GrimmReality,
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@itty53 @RufusJCooter How am I, the supposed biggest Futurama fan who ever lived, just NOW finding out the hyperchicken is named Matcluck??

That dog shall, INDEED, not hunt, monsignor.

GrimmReality,
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@itty53 @RufusJCooter A DELETED SCENE OF INTO THE WILD GREEN YONDER???

Now I am mad at myself. RESPECT.

GrimmReality,
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@msbellows @RufusJCooter Ok, love what you love, and that is a perfectly fine thing to love as it is pretty great, but also COME THE FUCK ON THERE ARE NO BOOZY LIBERTINE ROBOTS OR TIME-TRAVEL PARADOXES REGARDING SCHTUPPING ONE'S GRANDMA OR ANYTHING.

But, still, love what you love.

GrimmReality,
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@RufusJCooter @msbellows
haha "coronal mass ejection." enjoyable filth, i say!

GrimmReality, to random
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What the entire bloody fuck is wrong with literally EVERYone at The New York Times?

GrimmReality,
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The New York Times institutionally supported and wittingly helped stovepipe completely fabricated horseshit to help the Bush administration make its case to gaily go do war crimes and utterly fuck up the whole of eastern Asia for decades to come, so we need not pretend that cloistered Hamptons-partygoing pseuds enabling sociopaths by-passive-voice is a new thing or a sad nadir. It's just sometimes we get that ONE chef's-kiss headline, or fucking breathtaking tin-eared Joe Kahn interview, that reminds us of just how sewage-y it is.

GrimmReality,
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@RoyBrander thee. PERFECT. punchline.

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