@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world
@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world avatar

MamasPinkyToe

@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world

I suspected he was not a real hypnotist when he said I was growing Swedish, very Swedish, but here I am, doing many typically Swedish things.

tootfinder

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world avatar

Most children can be replaced by meerkats.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world avatar

When the news is about Georgia enacting "a new law that sets back democracy," you have to stay tuned to learn if it's Eurasian Georgia or y'all Georgia.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world avatar

Millie Bobby Brown needs just one more name to really put her over the top.

Alice, to random
@Alice@beige.party avatar

If you can't handle me at my avatar of a hotdog, you don’t deserve me at my un-cropped version showing a hotdog with a hotdog for a boner.

MamasPinkyToe,
@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world avatar

@Alice
It always reminds me of this wonderful little girl, one of my all-time favorites.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world avatar

I would like to find Jesus's tomb and turn it into an insanely profitable Airbnb.

MamasPinkyToe,
@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world avatar
  • Do you promise to roll back the rock after three days?
  • Yes. That's included in the price.
12thRITS, to random
@12thRITS@mstdn.social avatar

Both sides! As a goobernor, this woman makes an excellent Ice Queen.

MamasPinkyToe,
@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world avatar

@12thRITS
I honestly thought this was the Onion till I saw the byline.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world avatar

Between the two of us, Taylor Swift and I have won literally hundreds of awards.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world avatar

New plan: become the Georgia O'Keeffe of sliced ham

MamasPinkyToe, to random
@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world avatar

Office supply stores sell staples and they also sell staple removers. They've got the scruples of an arms dealer.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world avatar

I'm here for the orgy. I have a Groupon.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world avatar

If you can't take a mental health day, you can at least have a mental health milkshake.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world avatar

I'm drunk with happiness. And I'm drunk with happiness because I'm full of alcohol.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world avatar

There's nothing like a Rolex to say I'm a rich guy with a hairy arm.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world avatar

It was a sweet spring day, and just before they went into bloom you could hear all the almond trees say, "I'm gonna nut! I'm gonna nut!"

Skepticat, to random
@Skepticat@mstdn.social avatar

"You go first."
👀

MamasPinkyToe,
@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world avatar

@Skepticat
That reminds me. I'm going to see "Alien" later today.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world avatar

In Amish country, noun verbeth THEE!

MamasPinkyToe, to random
@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world avatar

If anything should happen to me, you must go to Gort. You must say these words: BARACK OBAMA NIKTO

MamasPinkyToe, to random
@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world avatar

The thing about a "soft close" toilet seat is that you can't slam the lid after taking an angry shit.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world avatar

The difference between identical twins and almost identical twins is wood shop.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world avatar

The difference between the median and the mean is that freeway car chases don't end with a guy in a Cookies T-shirt getting tackled in the mean.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world avatar

It's the club circuit for very old comedians. The goiter belt.

MamasPinkyToe, to random
@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world avatar

A Black man standing on top of a Cybertruck in front of a fried chicken restaurant being photographed by a white fan with a cellphone. That is what this is.

MamasPinkyToe,
@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world avatar

The man was atop his own Cybertruck, incidentally. He was a nice guy and got real joy from his vehicle. Why Popeyes I forgot to ask.

MamasPinkyToe,
@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world avatar

@qurlyjoe
I missed that juicy detail! I might have to revise the remark.

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • normalnudes
  • mdbf
  • magazineikmin
  • thenastyranch
  • Youngstown
  • osvaldo12
  • rosin
  • slotface
  • ngwrru68w68
  • InstantRegret
  • PowerRangers
  • kavyap
  • tsrsr
  • DreamBathrooms
  • Leos
  • everett
  • hgfsjryuu7
  • khanakhh
  • GTA5RPClips
  • vwfavf
  • Durango
  • cubers
  • tacticalgear
  • ethstaker
  • cisconetworking
  • tester
  • modclub
  • anitta
  • All magazines
    •