Yesterday, the AI-powered bird-ID thing my mom gave me detected what it identified as a scarlet ibis.
Now I have a couple options. I can say, hey, this AI has seen a lot more birds than I have, so if it says one of the two national birds of Trinidad and Tobago stopped to eat in my backyard, so be it. Or I can look at the photo and say, well that there’s a cardinal.
You have to already know stuff to know the AI is wrong. But no one is going to treat it that way.
Please send me all your thoughts and prayers tonight. Nothing’s happened, I just want to see if there’s a secondary market for them and I need the inventory.
The Brits called for a general election in July? How do they plan to get billions of dollars in dark money and years-long horse race media coverage out of that? It’s like they don’t even know what elections are for.
Parenting is hard. That’s it. That’s the OK I’M COMING, WHAT, WHAT, WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING YES OK I KNOW YOU’RE A MERMAID, FINE WHAT NO YOU CAN’T BREATHE UNDER WATER UGH I DUNNO BECAUSE YOU’RE A SPECIAL KIND OF AIR MERMAID WELL I’M SORRY YOU HATE AIR NO I WILL NOT FILL THE TUB WITH FIZZY WATER OH GOD STOP SCREAMING
Squirrels: steal our tomatoes
Me: dammit
Internet: squirrels hate coffee, put coffee grounds around tomato plants
Me: puts coffee grounds around tomato plants
Squirrels: thanks for the coffee, fucko, next time leave out some cream and sugar too PS. We took more tomatoes
Everybody thinks about poor Prometheus stuck to the mountain but no one spares a thought for the eagle who is also trapped in this relationship and is probably thinking “ugh, liver? Again?!”
How long would I, a midwestern American, have to live in Europe before I felt even remotely comfortable wearing a dress shirt with no t-shirt underneath?
Do you remember that experiment you did in high school physics, where you built a bridge out of toothpicks or whatever and then tested its strength by slowly adding more weight until it snapped?
I am at a rehearsal for my four year old’s ballet recital. I am surrounded by dozens of four year old ballerinas. This is some Twilight Zone shit going down right here.