SethRudy

SethRudy, 18 hours ago to random

Squirrels: steal our tomatoes
Me: dammit
Internet: squirrels hate coffee, put coffee grounds around tomato plants
Me: puts coffee grounds around tomato plants
Squirrels: thanks for the coffee, fucko, next time leave out some cream and sugar too PS. We took more tomatoes

SethRudy, 1 day ago to random

Everybody thinks about poor Prometheus stuck to the mountain but no one spares a thought for the eagle who is also trapped in this relationship and is probably thinking “ugh, liver? Again?!”

SethRudy, 2 days ago to random

How long would I, a midwestern American, have to live in Europe before I felt even remotely comfortable wearing a dress shirt with no t-shirt underneath?

SethRudy, 5 days ago to random

Do you remember that experiment you did in high school physics, where you built a bridge out of toothpicks or whatever and then tested its strength by slowly adding more weight until it snapped?

That’s what we’re doing with American democracy.

SethRudy, 6 days ago to random

Ok, but what’s his supporters’ excuse?

SethRudy, 7 days ago to random

I am at a rehearsal for my four year old’s ballet recital. I am surrounded by dozens of four year old ballerinas. This is some Twilight Zone shit going down right here.

SethRudy, 7 days ago to ChatGPT

The #18thcentury answer to #ChatGPT.

SethRudy, 10 days ago to random

You must be the shutting up you wish to see in the world

SethRudy, 11 days ago to random

Explained to a friend just now who doesn't like rum that I like rum because it's at the center of the so-called "girl-drink" and eighteenth-century naval history Venn diagram

SethRudy, 11 days ago to random

Parenting achievement unlocked: left child alone for two minutes with pair of children’s pinking shears; child now has bangs

SethRudy, 12 days ago to random

My institution is switching insurers in July. To determine the best package for me and my family, I have scheduled a special one-on-one meeting with a Ouija board.

SethRudy, 15 days ago to random

I have stumbled upon a show called Farscape and what the hell am I watching here

SethRudy, 15 days ago to random

What department could beat up all the other departments in a campus battle royale? I want to say bio because they’re outdoorsy but I think English has the berserkers

SethRudy, 15 days ago to random

It’s just geopolitical Calvinball out there, isn’t it

SethRudy, 16 days ago to random

GOP: public school teachers are dangerous lazy woke leftist communists who are indoctrinating our children.

Also GOP: and they need guns, give them all guns

SethRudy, 17 days ago to random

It looks like he’s being interviewed #caturday

SethRudy, 20 days ago to random

My thoughts and prayers go out to #voyager1, which after journeying for half a century to reach interstellar space is still expected to answer fucking work emails

SethRudy, 20 days ago to random

Yeah sure by all means, let’s integrate AI into more parts of a college that can’t make sure the fucking classroom projector is always working

SethRudy, 21 days ago to random

You have been installed as the president of an Ivy League university (condolences)! How would you try to resolve what’s happening on your campus? Realistically?

SethRudy, 22 days ago to random

Let’s see here…what seemingly minor or straightforward thing are our institutions and leaders going to demonstrate themselves incapable of handling today…hmmm…

SethRudy, 23 days ago to random

The dog next door can see me through my kitchen windows and barks at me in my own house; I am at war with this dog

SethRudy, 24 days ago to random

I am being mugged #caturday

SethRudy, 26 days ago to random

Is there a way I can reframe my total lack of productivity as some form of protest?

SethRudy, 27 days ago to random

Thrilled to have received a micro-grant for my research funded by the Institute of Cash Found in Old Coat Pockets (ICFOCP).