@olena@mementomori.social
@olena@mementomori.social avatar

olena

@olena@mementomori.social

Eclectic
Non-boolean
Too ND to actually go get diagnosed
Gender/sexuality - whatever
For social and informational equity

Profile picture: a very judgmental-looking black cat’s face
Banner: cardiogram

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icg937, to Depression Spanish
@icg937@mstdn.social avatar

So, my psychologist told me today that I have , besides and already diagnosed since last year.

olena,
@olena@mementomori.social avatar

@icg937 unfortunately, it’s kinda common comorbidity with AuDHD. That said, not every psychologist can tell RSD and some specific ADHD/ASD issues (like executive disfunction) from depression. Some seem to have quite an outdated understanding of both. Though, if yours accepts that you have both ASD and ADHD at the same time and doesn’t behave as if they are mutually exclusive - that’s already better than most.

rolle, to random
@rolle@mementomori.social avatar

That reminds me, I should probably release my new single soon.

olena,
@olena@mementomori.social avatar

@rolle just in time for #fedivision2024 ? :blobcatadorable:

rolle, to random
@rolle@mementomori.social avatar

Can’t really explain this post further, but I’m sad about the dearest people to me are hurting so much… it’s 2:34am and I am a wreck.

olena,
@olena@mementomori.social avatar

@rolle :blobcathuggiessad:

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

Why would people not want to be comfortable? I do most of these things just for comfort. Also they look cute, so...

olena,
@olena@mementomori.social avatar

@RickiTarr I can wear neither headphones nor glasses, so my jam is fun earrings. Gummy bears, rainbows and unicorns, various dinosaurs, cats and catpaws, birds and bees, cherries and oranges, various axes, cup and teapot, goldfish in a bag… I have more ‘sane’ as well - like various florals, suns, snowflakes, folklore motifs and geometric ornaments, but still most of them are big, noticeable, quirky - and cheap. I don’t get the vibe of expensive jewelry, I prefer to have some bright toys for different stories.

olena, to ADHD
@olena@mementomori.social avatar

What some people don’t seem to be able to understand is that for the ones with executive disfunction number of steps matters a lot.

I just put away all my dried laundry aside of duvet cover.

Why? Because for all the other things it’s easy one-step task: grab all the knickers and shove them into the drawer, get the home clothes and put it into home clothes cube box(that cubed Ikea shelf is such a helper for people like me, I just have a cube for every thing).

But the linen shelf is at the top of the bathroom closet, and it’s almost full. So I need a stepladder to be able to put the duvet cover there(I can try to shove it there without, I kinda reach the shelf itself, but in its current state the cover is likely to fall from there, and probably with some other things, so that would upset me which I am not ready to deal with now).

But the stepladder is now occupied by my winter shoes which were drying there before I put them away for summer.
But to put them away I need to get two big boxes from under my bed, empty one by putting everything that is there into the other one, put all the shoes there, put the boxes back under the bad, ensure all the boxes there are arranged in a way that is allowing my cat to play in that labyrinth, and probably clean up after that as I suppose there’s going to be a few dust bunnies.

Gosh, I got tired by just typing all that.

Going through all those steps may bot take too much time(if I don’t get distracted by something, including the urge to sort everything perfectly), but the very thought of going through all those steps just discourages me so much that I can’t find energy to start. “It’s just one duvet cover!” - they say. “It’s a shitton of steps!” - I answer.

Well, the cover is drying in a way that obscures a view from my bed which irritates me enough to maybe develop enough anger to put it away in the weekend.





@actuallyautistic

olena,
@olena@mementomori.social avatar

@ScottSoCal @Drude @actuallyautistic organizers are life-savers for me. Well, sanity savers at least :) When there are easily accessible clearly categorized storage containers for every kind of thing, not only clearing the mess, but keeping the home organized is so much easier

EVDHmn, to actuallyautistic
@EVDHmn@ecoevo.social avatar

@actuallyautistic

Would any of you be interested in doing a weekly audio conference? I have organizer stTus on meetup could do audio and discuss how everyone is doing checkins, talking science, or what it’s like for you personally in the world coping ?
Perhaps zoom audio, no judgements safe spaces etc over the internet ? Discords etc

olena,
@olena@mementomori.social avatar

@EVDHmn @actuallyautistic How common is audial processing disorder comorbidity with autism? Having APD, anything audio is huuuuuugely out of my comfort zone - I suppose it may be an issue for others as well

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

The Two Types of Vacationers:

Me: Hey Honey, what do you want to do on vacation? I want to walk somewhere lovely and try something new every day.

Hubs: Sleep as long as I want.

olena,
@olena@mementomori.social avatar

@RickiTarr I’m both. Plus food. Vacation is trying new tasty food. Sorry, that’s the rule. I don’t make the rules.

RickiTarr, (edited ) to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

The Tale of Two Gynecologists

This is a bit long, and I've talked about this a lot lately, but it's something I'm thinking about a lot in the wake of so much hatred of female Healthcare. When my female troubles got bad enough that I finally talked to my doctor about it, he referred me to a gynecologist. I had already had several ultrasounds and an MRI at this point, and she had put me on some oral contraceptives for several months, (which made sick to my stomach no matter what I did) and had just done another ultrasound. She greeted me with "Well, you're really messed up inside, Honey.", which already had me pretty stressed out. Then told me I would probably need surgery to figure out exactly what was going on. She then asked me if I wanted children, and I said No. I had taken my husband with me to the appointment for moral support, and she glanced over at him, and then talked to me for 5 minutes about how many women my age could still have children, and I could definitely consider it, and that they would do everything they could to make sure I could stay viable. They could freeze my eggs if I had to do a hysterectomy, just on and on. She probably asked me directly 4-5 if I was sure I didn't want kids. Finally, I said, "Ma'am, my husband got a vasectomy over a decade ago, we are absolutely sure we don't want kids." After hubs had found me crying on the toliet, because my period was late again, he went to his doctor and said, "Hey doctor, I'm thinking about a vasectomy." The doctor gave him a pamphlet to read, and made him an appointment. The whole thing was done in a few weeks.

Anyhow, she finally referred me to a gynecological surgeon, and I was not looking forward to dealing with this again, and was just generally terrified of having surgery for the first time. I met with this woman and she was so efficient and practical. It is the longest doctor appointment I've ever had, since this surgery would be exploratory, she went over every possibility of what could happen when she was inside. She did a thorough exam, she went over all the scans that I had, and explained why she thought this needed done. Then she said she would like to put in a Mirena IUD during surgery. She said, "You're in pain half the month, and there's no reason for you to have a period if you don't want to have kids. You'll have some erratic bleeding for six months, but by a year most women have a very light or no period at all, there's no reason for you to needlessly suffer if you don't end up needing a hysterectomy."

It's interesting to me still, that one doctor was so focused on what my body could do, and another so focused on how I felt. I came out of the first appointment feeling scared and confused, and the second feeling heard and cared for. Feeling valued as a person and not a baby maker made the surgery much easier to go through, and the Mirena has been great btw. Women don't have to needlessly suffer.

olena,
@olena@mementomori.social avatar

@RickiTarr it definitely is much worse in this field(female reproductive health), but honestly I’ve faced the first attitude a lot in other spheres of healthcare.
Some doctors just behave so entitled, view you as anything but a person. I’ve met doctors who didn’t show me my results and weren’t willing to tell me my diagnosis up to the point that I had to find ways to get my medical history to actually read wtf they wrote.
Most of the doctors have been dismissing my complaints most of my life (that one may have something to do with being female and therefore seen as a weak and whinny one, but not just that - idk if some of that is because being neurodivergent I somehow express things differently so they don’t see enough distress calls on my face). That is the reason why I have barely survived kidney issue at 19(“no, that pain can’t be a kidney, kidneys are situated higher, you silly kid”). That is the reason why I had to almost fight to stay at maternity ward when I was in labor(“no, you can’t be in labor, you’re not screaming in pain as that other woman over there”). That is the reason why I was diagnosed with valve insufficiency and asthma only after four decades(“those faints must be panic attacks. Or you’re just being dramatic and seeking attention”).
On the other hand, there always are those who respect you, who tell you everything, explain details, ask you about your comfort and your goals. There are very few of those, unfortunately, but they are the reason I didn’t completely lose my trust in doctors(which I’ve been on the verge of several times)

NicoleCRust, to random
@NicoleCRust@neuromatch.social avatar

Summer reading recs?!

I’m looking to compile a big pile of IRL books for summer beach reading.

Big fan of scifi, specfic, murder mysteries. Strong female characters = bonus points. Can’t deal with darkness. Nothing high brow or tedious. Nonfiction lover but that list is already bursting at the seams.

I also love long series - 3 body problem, wheel of time, foundation … those waves all have good memories attached.

If that brings anything to mind, please send the rec!!

olena,
@olena@mementomori.social avatar

@NicoleCRust Have you already read Seveneves by Neal Stephenson? If not, I’d recommend. If you like it, his other books are also great, but his writing is quite uneven: the books have parts that are hard to get through and parts during which it’s impossible to set a book aside - so Seveneves is better on that regard as it is more even. Or Diamond Age maybe.

Or, totally different flavor, have you tried China Miéville? If you like series, start with Perdido Street Station.

olena, to actuallyautistic
@olena@mementomori.social avatar

You’re not walking around consciously choosing what to pick up. You don’t choose. You don’t decide. It sticks like a crumb you accidentally stepped onto. Like cat’s hair. Good luck trying to get rid of it: while cleaning one, you get three more. Sometimes some dry out and fall off. You don’t choose which either.

Phrase here, intonation there, a bit of smile from that one, a funny move from another…

I wonder, if someone who has known you some time ago, meets you again in some years, and then meets some people from the same circles - how long does it take to tell those you’ve been interacting with most during those years by how they’ve grown into you, by spotting in them all those new things you’ve become.




@actuallyautistic

olena, to actuallyautistic
@olena@mementomori.social avatar

When a mimic is put into a safe environment where it doesn’t have to mimic anymore to survive - what shape does it have?

For some reason, it seems to me, it won’t be neither any established form nor an amorphous blob, but rather some chaotic combination, multidimensional exquisite corpse, of various elements flickering between each and every form it has ever taken or observed

And to demand it to show its true form is to take it out of the safe environment

(This post is actually about autistic masking)



@actuallyautistic

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