purplepadma

purplepadma, 6 days ago to random

On our way to Cardiff, Alice is happy to be in charge of the cat who she adores. I’m super tired and I’m the back of the car so I can’t hear what Tom and our friend are saying, so I’ve stuck my headphones on to listen to music and doze

purplepadma, 7 days ago to random

I haven’t felt this bad in a couple of weeks. I really hope this is just a one off thing not the start of another period of mood instability

purplepadma, 7 days ago to random

Had to come to bed while everyone else is still wide awake. Given up on trying to appear sane in front of Alice’s boyfriend, he is one of us now 😂 Hoping I sleep better than I have been and feel OK in the morning. Goodnight everyone

purplepadma, 7 days ago to random

This morning is all about trying to track down some of my antipsychotic, then this afternoon my daughter and her bf arrive for a long weekend, so looking forward to seeing them. They’re cat sitting tomorrow as we’re spending the night in Cardiff. Should be good! What are you up to today?

purplepadma, 7 days ago to random

Feeling sad even though my daughter is here, bah. Stupid moods

purplepadma, 7 days ago to random

Another amazing book on Kindle for 99p today - Emma O’Donoghue’s The Pull of the Stars. I thought about this novel for a long, long time after I finished it

purplepadma, 7 days ago to random

No antipsychotic at the hospital either, they’ve ordered me some but it will take 6 days to get here. Thankfully I have 8 days supply left. Now for a cheese scone in the M&S cafe

purplepadma, 7 days ago to random

When I was down at the community mental health team building I bumped into the first community psychiatric nurse I had when I moved here. She supported me for a couple of years, then went on mat leave and decided to take a different role after that. NGL I was gutted she didn’t come back. So lovely to see her. She said, “I hear you’re doing a PhD!” and I mumbled something about not being sure any more. I wish I knew the answer to my situation

purplepadma, 8 days ago to books

Have you read Station Eleven? It’s absolutely wonderful and it’s 99p on Kindle today! #books #AmReading

purplepadma, 7 days ago to random

The cat is going through a phase of climbing up on the pergola then crying that she can’t get down. I’m sure she can, but the crying is so heart-rending that I end up going out and holding a chair up for her to jump down into. She loves drama

purplepadma, 8 days ago to random

Emotionally wrung out after my counselling session. I was supposed to join an online journaling group at 3pm but I was far too tearful. I’m weepy because the counsellor was NICE and VALIDATING and concerned with my wellbeing and happiness. These things make me come undone

purplepadma, 8 days ago to random

I’ve finally been hit by the UK-wide medication shortages exacerbated by Brexit. My pharmacist can’t get my antipsychotic. The GP surgery blithely suggests that I just switch to another drug until he can. That is… really not how psychotropic meds work. I’ve got the community mental health team receptionist running round trying to get a prescription for this drug from my psychiatrist to be filled at the hospital pharmacy - IF they have it. Stress!

purplepadma, 8 days ago to random

Good morning. I paid for yesterday afternoon’s delicious nap with nighttime insomnia. I had to put a sleep story on to drown out the anxieties in my head. Got my first uni counselling session this afternoon, so obviously I’m now anxious about that 🙄 How are you today?

purplepadma, 8 days ago to random

I couldn’t hold out! I broached my Stephen King book and I don’t want to do anything except read more!

purplepadma, 9 days ago to random

Feeling grateful that cicadas don’t live in Wales

purplepadma, 9 days ago to random

Oops, I fell asleep on the bed for two and a half hours. Came down to find Tom and the cat also asleep. Has somebody cast a spell on the house?

purplepadma, 9 days ago to random

Guess what, the visit from the social worker was FINE 🙄 We agreed she doesn’t need to see me again, the issue is not depression anymore but anxiety, confidence, feeling differently about myself and what I want to do with my life. Seeing a uni counsellor tomorrow for that stuff

purplepadma, 9 days ago to random

Had some weird dreams… in one I was doing press-ups (something I hate and am very bad at) then later I was building a castle out of mud using my hands, saying, “no habla Español”

purplepadma, 9 days ago to random

I am SO GLAD it’s a summer election. This government could’ve dragged on until October or November. Let’s get it out of the way.

purplepadma, 9 days ago to random

So anxious about the social worker coming, WHY? She is a very nice woman. She has been twice before. She’s not going to say or do anything distressing (as far as I am aware!). She’s coming at my request. But the brain weasels are churning

purplepadma, 9 days ago to random

The beautiful weather has ended, grey cloud with rain predicted. My social worker is visiting today, this will probably be her last visit as I’ve thankfully moved out of my depressive episode. Just the clinical anxiety to deal with (“just” haha). How is everyone today?

purplepadma, 10 days ago to Bloomscrolling

First rose of the year #bloomscrolling

purplepadma, 10 days ago to random

Came home to find Tom and our gardener had been very busy, they’d dug out a dead tree, moved one that was obscured by other plants, planted two saplings in the lawn, put a blueberry bush in the border, transplanted the olive tree to its new enormous pot and put an acer in the pot left behind.

purplepadma, 10 days ago to random

Good morning! Even though I’m feeling a lot better, a big source of anxiety for me is the thought of travelling anywhere by myself. So I am bravely going to Swansea on the train this morning to meet my friend. Telling myself I can absolutely do this, it’s just the journey I used to take to work, but I’m weirdly nervous. It’ll be fine, right?

purplepadma, 10 days ago to random

Annnnnd I’m on the train home. Brunch with friend was lovely, we sat outside as the weather is gorgeous (although this did mean exposing ourselves to the never ending construction noise of Swansea city centre). Bought some new sandals and some chorizo