The ink is black, the page is white
Together we learn to read and write
A child is black, a child is white
The whole world looks upon the sight, a beautiful sight
And now a child can understand
That this is the law of all the land, all the land
The world is black, the world is white
It turns by day and then by night
A child is black, a child is white
Together they grow to see the light, to see the light
I have booked a counselling session with the university wellbeing service. Not to discuss bipolar - they won’t touch severe mental illness - but to discuss my resistance to going back to my PhD. I have a massive block about it and feel I have lost all interest/momentum. I want to talk through whether I really want to go back.
@Sharonbw Thanks. I will also chat it over with my friend over lunch, she’s a retired academic psychiatrist who’s suffered from lifelong mental illness. I’m sure she must’ve had many doubts along the way
One thing I really enjoy about Fedi is the imagined relationships I have with people (not like that). The imagined alliances (ride together, die together). The imagined feuds (you have unfollowed me now prepare to face your doom). There are people I get mixed up, including two guys in particular - one who's very gentle and sweet and one who posts stuff like "FUCKING, gonna go out and punch a fuckn.... baby, grr, bloody... bastard" (sorry I couldn't think of anything they might actually say so did my best approximation). In reality it's just people, bored, saying "I had a sandwich" then there's some berk (me) on the other side of the planet going "YES! I eat sandwiches too! We are now brethren! Let us go into battle together". I wonder if I might spend too much time on social media.
#cat#cats#Caturday#catsofmastodon
RIP Mars, 2010 - 2024
This morning I found Mars run over by a car. I miss him very much. We got him from the shelter and he showed his gratitude every day. He was cuddly, playful, a rascal and very curious. Wherever I was, Mars wasn't far away and he spent many cuddly hours on my lap. I am stunned and incredibly sad. My heart is broken and I am crushed 🖤
Goodbye Mars, miss you, Thank you for love 😭 😿
Me: I’m feeling so much better, I don’t need the CMHT anymore!
Social worker: That’s great but are you sure?
Tom: Um, you have literally only been feeling better for 3 days, maybe just one more visit?
Me: Oh yeah 😬
This is a bit of a first world problem I know, but let me whinge. I used the last of my preferred type of dental floss this morning, and I when I went to order some more a little while ago, I found out that it has changed and is quite different. So now I have to look for new dental floss, and I'm not looking forward to this, as there's so many types of floss that make my teeth feel weird in different ways.
@thebaywindowgirl@sheepnik@alexisbushnell I had a Tepe stick break while I was using it, the wire brush part broke off from the handle and was stuck between two molars. It took me a couple of days to get it out, I was just about to go sheepishly to the dentist but then it came out. So I use floss instead of the gap is tight
I am mostly over the cough / lurgy that I had the other week, apart from one thing: my tongue is now really sensitive to getting crumbs or small bits of food on it, which makes me cough. This makes eating more difficult than normal. I'd be quite happy if this would stop.
My neighbor and friend was diagnosed with multiple myeloma (bone cancer). She is in good spirits and says “it’s very treatable”. This is true, but it’s also terminal and at stage 3 (which hers clearly is) has only a 30% 2-year survival rate. Her docs have not told her this and maybe that’s for the best, but the scientist in me is screaming inside that she should have more and all the information so she can make decisions about her care. /sigh/ I will focus on being her friend. #personal#cancer
Morning! I’m having so much trouble getting to sleep since I changed my med timings. I was up until 1am again last night, even a sleep meditation didn’t do the trick. Still I had nothing particular to get up for, so I slept until 9am. Social worker coming round this afternoon, I can tell her that I’m much improved and probably don’t need her anymore - but! I want to ensure I can get timely support if things go bad again! What’s on your agenda?
I'm having problems falling asleep & put some melatonin drops into chamomile tea to try to ease body into sleep. I was up later than usual because Mom's been having some more high blood pressure related medical issues recently.