I'm talking/thinking/listening about Sadness today. Sometimes, I think it's necessary to think about these things, it's a part of life and unavoidable. At the same time, I want to talk about my Sadness Checklist if you're in it deep right now. These are the things I force myself to consider when I'm feeling down, overwhelmed, or anxious:
Did you drink enough water? Yep, I know, but it's legitimately important, not drinking enough water can effect your mood and how tired you are.
Did you eat, if so did you eat well? Same as above, sounds silly, sure, but making sure you're fed properly changes how you feel. Eat some fruits and vegetables ffs, M&M's are not food.
Get out of bed, get dressed. Just do it, you know why.
Did I do something active today? Take a walk, get outside, get out of your environment for awhile.
Am I putting something off that's causing me anxiety? Don't think, just do it.
Am I focusing on something I know brings me down? Turn off the news, tell the needy people in your life you're busy, do something or be around people that are energizing.
Are you tired? Did you stay up too late anger typing on the internet? GO TAKE A NAP!
@RickiTarr I was officially diagnosed with depression in 1993. I have trained myself to enjoy every little win. Make my lunch for the day so I don’t need to buy from the canteen. Win. Have a good day at work. Win. Realise I’m the only person criticising me so I’m probably wrong. Win. When you realise you’re winning so much in the things you actually can control it really helps.
And also to realise that sadness is there for a very good evolutionary reason sometimes. Win.
@toxy Beautiful!! Despite all the complaints about social media, I've found it's been really helpful to see how my feelings are more universal than I thought, sadness and depression are not unique, sharing the load makes it easier.
@RickiTarr Thanks for this post. I would never have posted my thoughts otherwise and it is great to see others contributing. Someone smarter than me (I don’t know who) said “The phrase ‘misery loves company’ was only partially correct. The phrase ‘misery loves miserable company’ is more apposite.”
And it is very useful. Tbh I didn’t expect a space like this in the social media hellscape. 🙂
@toxy@RickiTarr
That "realizing you are the only one" criticizing you is a big one for me. Helps keep me out of the rut when I remember to remind myself.
@RickiTarr The expectation that we can live without living in sadness is a dysfunction. Not to go all Chauncy in Being There, but just like we love the fall colors, we should appreciate the passing they represent. This stuff’s a bit easier done when we’re older because we’ve already borne it in silence.
@RickiTarr It’s odd that there is this weight to saying it in the US, like it subverts our collective creation myth, that I don’t see much in other parts of the world. It’s like we live in the United States of Sad Club and you know what the first rule is.
@RickiTarr "Do something poorly" has helped me at times. Maybe I'm too down to do a proper walk - go just around the block (and be open to going further if it feels right). Get out of bed and put on clothes but not your shoes if that's a bridge too far. Wash half the dishes, or a dish.
It's "better" to do things well, but giving ourselves permission to do things poorly can help a ton.
@strangebirds@RickiTarr I love this! In line with “a little is better than nothing” (does this expression exist in English? It does in Danish and has helped me wonderfully).
@RickiTarr if you're able and have access, taking a brisk walk for at least 15 minutes. It doesn't matter if you're listening to music or whatever, but try to avoid podcasts or news. Keep your eyes up and on the world around you. Observe things. The way the wind caresses the trees —and you. The strike of your feet. The free swing of your arms. Your posture. Your breath. The creatures that surround you. Take it all in, gestalt-style. Just walk.
@RickiTarr Great list, thanks. Do not underestimate the basics. At the risk of going full cliché: Focus on some form of gratitude. Works best if you’ve already practiced in happier times.
@RickiTarr I feel down every fall when monarch butterflies are done migrating and there are a few stragglers almost certainly to die by a freeze. The way I deal with it is to bring 'em in and plan for remigration in March.
@RickiTarr When I'm down I play my Andean flute music cd. It's on the upbeat so it's my happy music. I also like reading The #1 Ladies Detective Agency. It's light reading about good people trying to live a good life and always has a happy ending. The author intentionally writes them that way.
@RickiTarr check: Are you feeling bad because your blood pressure is low (which just makes you feel crappy)? You don't need to actually measure, just figure if you're really low on energy.
This can be alleviated by one of the points on the list, "do something active".
@RickiTarr If it’s situational sadness (big changes in life), we need a different type of coping mechanisms than for depression and anxiety. But in both cases, remembering small things I like/love, grounds me
For me, I think about my kid being silly, giant sunflowers, crisp autumn mornings with bright skies, great games created by talented humans… so many wonderful things in the world! ☺️
@farah My brain gets dramatic and thinks What if I always feel this way?! Looking through old pictures and remembering that things have been bad before and I still got over it and had nice times, definitely helps me too
@RolloTreadway YES AND YES! A little pre-planning when you're feeling okay is so smart. I literally say Thank you Past Me, when I remember I did a little something for myself earlier.
@RickiTarr so I'll make a to-do list to try to break through the anxiety & get something accomplished. Then the top item causes so much anxiety that it doesn't get done & crashes whole list. Experts say just move the top item to the bottom then. But that is an anxiety producing move in itself.!!!
@timo21 I get that, I tend to overthink, so my general rule now is don't think anymore, just start, you don't have to finish, just start, doesn't always works, but it does more often than not
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