Flash

Flash, 2 months ago to random

Flash, 6 months ago to random

Darkness falls across the land
The midnight hour is close at hand
Creatures crawl in search of blood
To terrorize your neighborhood
And whosoever shall be found
Without the soul for getting down
Must stand and face the hounds of hell
And rot inside a corpses shell
The foulest stench is in the air
The funk of forty thousand years
And grizzy ghouls from every tomb
Are closing in to seal your doom
And though you fight to stay alive
Your body starts to shiver
For no mere mortal can resist
The evil..

Flash, 6 months ago (edited 6 months ago) to random

Follow me for more recipes……

Flash, 10 months ago to random

The best murder weapon would be a Tupperware lid. No one would ever be able to find it.

Flash, 2 months ago to random

In Case You Were Wondering How Big An Eagle's Foot Is. It's This Big.

Flash, 1 year ago to random

Me: I think I'Il open this kitchen drawer.

Potato masher: The fuck you will.

Flash, 1 month ago to random

THINGS MY MOM TAUGHT ME:

About Religion: You better pray that will come out of the carpet.
About Time Travel: If you don't straighten up I'll knock you into the middle of next week.
About Logic: Because I said so, that's why.
About Irony: Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about.
About Anticipation: You just wait till I get you home.
About Sharing: I'm going to give you a piece of my mind.
About Fear: One day I hope you'll have a child just like you.

Flash, 7 months ago to random

When Canadians fight on Twitter:

Flash, 9 months ago to random

A moist owlette.

Flash, 9 months ago to random

Has anyone ever noticed the irony behind “hyphenated” and “non-hyphenated”? .

Flash, 8 months ago to random

Can you tell the difference?

Flash, 7 months ago (edited 7 months ago) to random

He’s Stealing The Moon!
Daniel Antoniol is the photographer.

Flash, 7 months ago to random

Home security reminder.
A lot of people are arranging to go away for Christmas which makes their homes easy pickings for burglars. For security reasons I strongly recommend that you leave one of your children behind to construct a series of elaborate booby traps and defend your property.

Flash, 9 months ago to random

Flash, 11 months ago to random

My pet rock turned 4,054,870,001 years old today.

Flash, 5 months ago to random

Tip for today: If you can't think of a word say, "I forget the English word for it". That way people will think you're bilingual instead of an idiot.

Flash, 6 months ago to random

I've started investing in stocks: beef, chicken, vegetable...
One day I hope to become a bouillonaire.

Flash, 10 months ago to random

I'm finding that being an adult is 90% trying to figure out how you hurt your back.

Flash, 9 months ago to random

HOW TO SURVIVE THE HEATWAVE:

1. Stay hydrated.
2. Have an ice cream cone.
3. Dismantle the fossil fuel industry which is literally burning the planet for the short term profit of a vanishingly small capitalist class.
4. Wear loose clothing.

Flash, 1 month ago to random

Just heard some guy yell "F**K!" I thought it was impressive because not many people can pronounce asterisks.

Flash, 1 month ago to random

A street artist draws a work of art: "the invisibility of poverty". A masterpiece. The artist’s name is Kevin Lee.

Flash, 1 year ago to random

In Italy some lambs are born high up in the mountains and they need to be carried down to the grass.
This is done via donkey with special bags.

Flash, 5 months ago to random

Replace the word ‘heaven’ in any song lyric with ‘Costco’.

e.g.:
🎶🎵 Baby, you're all that I want,
When you're lying here in my arms.
I'm finding it hard to believe,
We're in Costco 🎶🎵

Flash, 5 months ago to random

Flash, 4 months ago to random