breakfastgolem

breakfastgolem, 3 months ago to random

Real eyes realize French fries.

senj, 3 months ago to random

The King's a great one for potions. Big philters guy. Loves his magic phials.

breakfastgolem, 3 months ago to random

I was left speechful.

breakfastgolem, 3 months ago to random

All of my toots are AI (Awesome and Innovative)

breakfastgolem, 3 months ago to random

100% convinced the world would be a better place if comment sections on websites never existed.

breakfastgolem, 3 months ago to random

ass physics

ray, 3 months ago to random

it's less that I'm getting a vaginectomy and more that I'm getting a taintoplasty

breakfastgolem, 3 months ago to random

I'm a matador but instead of stabbing the bull, I try to give it a little smooch when it charges past me.

breakfastgolem, 3 months ago to random

And Lou begat Monica
Who begat Erica
Who begat Rita
Who begat Tina
Who begat Sandra
Who begat Mary
Who begat Jessica
And it was thus.

breakfastgolem, 3 months ago to random

I surf the web as I sip my coffee. Suddenly, Windows informs me that a comment has been made on one of my many Mastodon posts. Chuckling to myself, I reach across my desk to my trusty, dog-eared copy of "Mastodon for Dummies" and flip the book open to the "Great Replies" chapter. They won't know what hit them.

breakfastgolem, 4 months ago to random

do NOT highlight my many foibles and failings >:|

breakfastgolem, 4 months ago to random

:bing: who invented lesibans

ray, 4 months ago to random

for my birthday I should eat an entire blooming onion and shit myself to death before I get to go to the show tomorrow

ray, 4 months ago to random

this hurts so much I can't watch it without pausing to laugh. I cant stand it

@calebpitts1997 from twitter. doing an impression of what he would do if someone tried to hurt his friends (a bunch of constipated yelling about not hurting his friends)

breakfastgolem, 4 months ago to random

breakfastgolem, 4 months ago to random

Awake at great personal cost.

breakfastgolem, 4 months ago to random

ray, 4 months ago to random

OH. RAW is short for 'rules as written', it's not just a slang term for like 'vanilla dnd'

breakfastgolem, 4 months ago to random

Mech name: SUCKY WAFFLES

breakfastgolem, 4 months ago to random

Finally found my dream home.

breakfastgolem, 4 months ago to random

i am not FUCKING around (immediately fucks around)

breakfastgolem, 4 months ago to random

You're telling me this radio is made of ham?

breakfastgolem, 4 months ago to random

Duolingo (duodenum linguine)

18+ ray, 4 months ago to random

made this really good creamed potato, turnip, and carrot with spinach. but it unfortunately looks so much like vomit