@breakfastgolem@goblin.camp
@breakfastgolem@goblin.camp avatar

breakfastgolem

@breakfastgolem@goblin.camp

Been here since 2018. Moved accounts three times. I cannot be killed.

I don't accept follow requests from mastodon.social. Find a better instance.

Many people are saying things about me:

"im going to throw you into the sea" - Jacie
"cram it, square!" - Louisa

see you nutmeats in hell

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

breakfastgolem, to random
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Protection and clean oxygen are required when writing my stinky posts.

breakfastgolem, to random
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Jackdaw, or West Coast Healyn, as we like to call him,

ray, to random

woke up so hungry ordered a bunch of sushi, they had made a yummy soup downstairs so I had some of that, miso, ate a ton of very good salmon

breakfastgolem,
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@ray fweakin hongry

breakfastgolem, to random
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Gosh, I really had to go to the bathroom! I feel much better now. Gonna head down to the kitchen to (falls down the falls down the stairs)

breakfastgolem, to random
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It won't be too long before we see another Kent State massacre here. They'll most likely blame it on the students, too.

breakfastgolem,
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"An interview with the 23-year-old peace officer and father of two who was forced to shoot a 19-year-old violent protestor in the face with a non-lethal riot-suppression shotgun when the protestor attacked him with a lethal sharp piece of wood."

breakfastgolem,
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Officer Dipshit: Well, these so-called students and academics are incredibly violent. They're disrupting the law by being dangerous and fascist, so we're setting up a perimeter. We've got 200 officers armed with assault rifles, ten snipers, three APCs and, as you can hear above us, two helicopter gunships. These students are dangerous; we've seen evidence of sharpened sticks and even bricks, so we have to take every precaution to protect ourselves.

breakfastgolem, to random
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Pretty much everyone: hey car companies please make a small, compact, cheap simple EV car pls
Car companies: lol heres our new $100,000 900 horsepower EV SUV that weights 8000 pounds and is legally classified as a skyscraper

breakfastgolem,
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I helped my mom buy a Kia Ioniq 5 last year. It's a neat hatch-style SUV with about 250 miles of range. The ONE time we tried charging it at a public station, three of the stations were completely broken and the fourth was barely working. We got her a stage 2 charger in her garage, but the state of public charging in America is an absolute joke.

breakfastgolem,
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Electrify America shat out half-assed chargers and then got mad that they were expected to actually maintain them.

breakfastgolem, to random
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"Music to my ears" yeah well where else is music supposed to go ya idiot!!

breakfastgolem, to random
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Drew Carey pussy hypno hentai

breakfastgolem, to random
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There’s a large raven stomping around on my roof.

breakfastgolem, to random
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Happy birthday, marijuana!

breakfastgolem, to random
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The Three Booty Problem

ray, to random

that video's done it again, I can't stop laughing

breakfastgolem,
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@ray STAAHHP

ray, to random

vital poll - keep with the mullethawk or return to the buzz for spring?

selfie with buzzcut

breakfastgolem,
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@ray Tonsure

breakfastgolem, to random
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In retrospect, naming my all-chili restaurant "Dinerrhea" was a very bad business decision.

breakfastgolem, to random
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It's April, you fools.

breakfastgolem, to random
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I'm sorry the what preserve

breakfastgolem, to random
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webp (we be peein')

ray, to random

potato man takes tesTOTerone

breakfastgolem,
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@ray hrmm

ray, to random

one my youtubers put this subtitle completely unprompted over a one second cut of him mining? lmao

breakfastgolem,
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@ray bi wife, bi life

jackdaw_ruiz, to random
@jackdaw_ruiz@normal.style avatar

every day some dipass independently stumbles onto the premise of male socialization and thinks they've discovered a truly novel loophole to sneak their dogshit biases into sensible discussion. every fuckin' day. it's the online equivalent of cranks in their garage thinking that they'll be the one to finally patent a perpetual motion machine because nobody else in history has considered "mmmmwhat if,, magnets?"

breakfastgolem,
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@jackdaw_ruiz mangnets

ray, to random

this hurts so much I can't watch it without pausing to laugh. I cant stand it

@calebpitts1997 from twitter. doing an impression of what he would do if someone tried to hurt his friends (a bunch of constipated yelling about not hurting his friends)

breakfastgolem,
@breakfastgolem@goblin.camp avatar

@ray Reboosting this.

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