donni

donni, 41 minutes ago to random

I’m smart enough to trick myself, and dumb enough to fall for it

donni, 1 hour ago to random

Socks were invented because shoes were lonely, so we gave them friends

donni, 19 hours ago to random

I miss my old naive belief that most people are reasonable

donni, 1 day ago to random

You gotta grab the bull by the horns and face the facts: You just angered a bull

donni, 1 day ago to random

Time for bed, where I will continue to not sleep, but horizontally

donni, 2 days ago to random

Give a man a fish. They both needed a friend. Now they have each other

donni, 2 days ago to random

Kicked out of Whole Foods for loudly demanding partial foods

donni, 3 days ago to random

As the world gets weirder and worse, it makes me look somewhat normal and good, so at least there’s that

donni, 3 days ago to random

What’s the emoji for sitting on the floor numbly for 6 hours

donni, 4 days ago to random

Get naked in the Guinness Book Of World Records office and refuse to leave until they agree it's got to be some kind of new record

donni, 4 days ago to random

I don’t grapple with despair. That sounds painful. We just hang out

donni, 5 days ago to random

When it comes to the passage of time, personally, I disagree

donni, 5 days ago to random

I could swear there was a time when my phone didn’t always tell me upsetting things

donni, 6 days ago to random

Look, I’m trying my best, but actually that sounds hard and I am not