@donni@mastodon.social avatar

donni

@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

Z, to random
@Z@jorts.horse avatar

bees unionized. burt's out.

cmconseils, to random French
@cmconseils@mastodon.social avatar

My friend got a tattoo on his arm that says "comparison is the thief of joy" and I'm really debating getting the same tattoo on my arm but a little bit bigger

Gogs, to random
@Gogs@mas.to avatar

Excuse me, could you help me start the ‘peel here’ corner on this pack of whoop-ass?

Alice, (edited ) to random
@Alice@beige.party avatar

Who told Google that we wanted AI search so now we can wait even longer for them to provide the wrong answers?

sluttymayo, to random
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse avatar

five fresh eye makeup looks for summer that will leave your enemies in disarray

LikeItOrLumpIt, to random
@LikeItOrLumpIt@mstdn.social avatar

Hear me out. Edible paper where you can write down all your feelings and eat them. Also provides your daily recommended amount of fiber.

HamonWry, to random
@HamonWry@mastodon.world avatar

Whether a child’s first word is mommy or daddy their second word will inevitably be nooooooooo. And it’ll become their favorite word until they’re finished with their teens.

MissingThePt, to random
@MissingThePt@mastodon.social avatar

Did you know? People now have enough microplastics that when they pass you can just put them in the recycling bin.

RobSF, to random
@RobSF@beige.party avatar

It’s been almost ten years since our son left home for college, but still I shed silent tears now and then. Especially Tuesday night, when it’s time to take the garbage bins out. That was his job, and they are bitter tears.

dugglebutt, to random
@dugglebutt@beige.party avatar

I get more texts from Taco Bell than I get from both my friends and family combined

ryanhoulihan, to random
@ryanhoulihan@mastodon.social avatar

It’s so bleak just sitting here waiting for all of this to collapse in on itself isn’t it

flargh, to random
@flargh@mastodon.social avatar

From a certain distance, woodpeckers sound disturbingly like the Predator.

GrimmReality, to random
@GrimmReality@beige.party avatar

I have gone three days without coffee - not a dare or any stupid health reason, just kind of dumb happenstance - and I would like to say this is stupid and any tosser who might recommend this is wrong and probably malevolent.

the_etrain, to random
@the_etrain@beige.party avatar

Around 32% of people misinterpret statistics, which is a vast majority.

theropologist, to random
@theropologist@beige.party avatar

I just wrote a strongly-worded comment on my quarterly survey at work, so don't tell me I don't know how to stick it to the Man.

JonBaker, to random
@JonBaker@mastodon.social avatar

I can’t remember how a boomerang works but it’s coming back to me

xinicit, to random
@xinicit@floe.earth avatar

Imagine if we had to hunt for food like our ancestors. I don’t know if I could hit a breakfast taco with a spear.

JustFrank, to random
@JustFrank@mas.to avatar

I know everything seems really weird right now, that's just because it is.

StefanThinks, to random
@StefanThinks@beige.party avatar

Look, you might disagree with my methods, but I do things the easy way, not the right way.

LRRRonEarth, to random
@LRRRonEarth@beige.party avatar

I DID NOT COME TO THE RUMMAGE SALE TO MAKE FRIENDS. KINDA THE OPPOSITE, ACTUALLY.

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

A Taco Salad is just one big nacho.

LoganFive, to random
@LoganFive@beige.party avatar

If you think too highly of yourself, people will check your ego. If you think too little of yourself, people will check your self-deprication. The secret is to think just enough of yourself so people will leave you alone.

mudboot, to random
@mudboot@beige.party avatar

my brain: YEA YEA YEA send the text. it's a good idea

narrator: it was not a good idea

wleisner, to random
@wleisner@mastodon.social avatar

DoorDash, but for when you just need a hug.

StefanThinks, to random
@StefanThinks@beige.party avatar

Tacos were first. Sandwiches are tacos.

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • JUstTest
  • khanakhh
  • DreamBathrooms
  • everett
  • magazineikmin
  • osvaldo12
  • InstantRegret
  • Youngstown
  • mdbf
  • slotface
  • rosin
  • thenastyranch
  • kavyap
  • tacticalgear
  • Leos
  • cisconetworking
  • Durango
  • GTA5RPClips
  • ethstaker
  • provamag3
  • ngwrru68w68
  • normalnudes
  • cubers
  • tester
  • modclub
  • megavids
  • anitta
  • lostlight
  • All magazines
    •