@donni@mastodon.social avatar

donni

@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

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donni, to random
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Time for bed, where I will continue to not sleep, but horizontally

donni, to random
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Give a man a fish. They both needed a friend. Now they have each other

donni, to random
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Kicked out of Whole Foods for loudly demanding partial foods

donni, to random
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As the world gets weirder and worse, it makes me look somewhat normal and good, so at least there’s that

donni, to random
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What’s the emoji for sitting on the floor numbly for 6 hours

donni, to random
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Get naked in the Guinness Book Of World Records office and refuse to leave until they agree it's got to be some kind of new record

donni, to random
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I don’t grapple with despair. That sounds painful. We just hang out

donni, to random
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When it comes to the passage of time, personally, I disagree

donni, to random
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I could swear there was a time when my phone didn’t always tell me upsetting things

donni, to random
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Look, I’m trying my best, but actually that sounds hard and I am not

donni, to random
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If I was a giraffe, I would simply wear many fine turtleneck sweaters

donni, to random
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Women wanted him. Men wanted to be him. Birds mocked him. Fish disliked him tremendously

donni, to random
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Gently urging my brain to shut up and be cool, so everyone will like us

donni, to random
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Can’t sleep due to 17 vague fears and 4 specific concerns

donni, to random
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Elbows are just baby knees for your top legs

donni, to random
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Whoever named our galaxy "The Milky Way" should not be allowed to name anything else

donni, to random
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My eyes are bigger than my stomach, due to The Incident

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I don’t know who needs to hear this, so I will not say it. Happy to help

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Thinking about using my mind to control my brain

donni, to random
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It’s rude and sad that food turns into poop and leaves you

donni, to random
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Your toes could be up to anything. They’re too far away to supervise

donni, to random
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I only stay up late because I love being extremely tired and suffering the next day

donni, to random
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It's a beautiful day outside if you're not a vampire. Pretty sure I'm not, but why risk

donni, to random
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I try to calm down at least once a year

donni, to random
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Thought about something too long and hurt my own feelings, a useful skill to have

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