@Sibshops@actuallyautistic There is a good reason why autistic people do this. We learn on a very young age that acting the way we actually feel gives us a shitload of problems.
We don't adapt to make neurotypicals happy, we adapt to make our life easier, to not get judged all day, to not have to explain every action we do, to not be labeled as weird or a freak, you can't imagine what effect this has on you as a kid or even an adult.
Social Masking is a necessity to enable us to be to interact without permanently being treated like an outcast or freak .. or worse.
For some this works very good, for others .. less. And if the memory space is getting full, all the system processes crash. And because its taking up already so much processing power, this happens much faster than it would for a NT person.
@ginsterbusch@dorgaldir@Sibshops@actuallyautistic I have always been an outcast and a freak. I love being a freak. I was never any good at masking, and at some time during my teenage years, I just stopped trying.
As somebody who is deep into all that geek stuff since the times when it wasnt cool, I decided in my early twenties, that if I was to continue like I did at that time, that I would become just like some weird walking joke of a stererotype.
@ginsterbusch@dorgaldir@Sibshops@actuallyautistic I decided to just do what I want, wear my hair like I want (very long and dyed red), wear the clothes that I like (all black all the time, with silver jewelry), and hang out with people like myself, ignoring mainstream society. I'm almost 49 now, all my friends are freaks, most of them are neuroatypical, and I don't give a shit about what "normal" people think about me.
More in terms of not wanting to turn into the classic stereotype of the extremely obese, glasses-wearing, computer guy that doesnt go outsite, only survives by pizza and coke and is surrounded by empty bottles and huge mounts of garbage.
@dorgaldir@ginsterbusch@Sibshops@actuallyautistic I'm accepted by a few weird freaks. I've never had many friends, and all of them have always been weird freaks. I just have stopped giving a shit about being accepted, people just have to tolerate my existence as it is.
one of our core personal measures for success in life is that we rarely have to do that anymore. it's so freeing. we wish it were possible for all autistic people.
Being autistic really sucks because you're using up most of your RAM, your CPU is constantly overclocked, and you've only started to realize that your fans are running at half capacity which causes your system to stutter badly.
@dorgaldir@actuallyautistic as I get older I've learned to disable that on startup, which has significantly improved my efficiency... Until I have to have a conversation about why I am doing whatever.
@thesquirrelfish@actuallyautistic yeah, I'm a late diagnosed and since then I'm working on this as well, and it does help. And in some situations I'm even like "Just so you know, I have autisme, deal with it, cause I can't be bothered to adapt to fit the norm right now..."
But it does not work in every situation...
@thesquirrelfish@dorgaldir@actuallyautistic And then there is not enough memory free for loading said program .. because its already being used for much more important tasks xD
As a #OCD sufferer, I have this #malware running in my brain, causing constant error message pop-ups that seem real and urgent, but should actually be ignored.
Just like your .exe, it is also putting too much load on my CPU.
@dorgaldir@actuallyautistic "why am I failing to communicate to people?" glances at resource manager "gosh dang, /usr/local/bin/eye-contact is taking up 60% of my GPU bandwidth again".
@FayeDrake@dorgaldir@actuallyautistic Shouldnt that be /mnt/eye-contact or /media/eye-contact running full? (ie. using a storage device found within /dev/eyes)
@la_sombra@actuallyautistic yeah I run it sometimes, but as it turns out this can cause issues when done in the wrong setting... At work for example...
@bamboombibbitybop@actuallyautistic well as @venite explained, it is extra hard because you have to run it in WINE 😉
But it makes sense that it's an exe file since most pc users run windows... so it's an apt analogy for neurodivergents vs neurotypicals...
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