@samid@mastodon.de
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

samid

@samid@mastodon.de

she/her likes to talk about feminism, intersectionality, art, spirituality, social change, emotional healing, neurodivergent unmasking, about us being part of the web of life and whatever else helps create a human future on this planet

header: center of an orange tulip
avatar: woman with long blue hair and lightbeams around her head.

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Susan60, to actuallyautistic
@Susan60@aus.social avatar

I spoke online to my English language student today. She took her 3yo to a kinder session & spent some time talking to other mothers, which was challenging . So I need to teach her some more English small talk language. Me. An autistic person. 😂 Ironic.
@actuallyautistic

samid,
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

@Tooden @Susan60 @callunavulgaris @actuallyautistic
thanks for the nice laugh this gave me. people are so funny.

essie_is_okay, to disability
@essie_is_okay@aus.social avatar

How did you make a more robust sense of self? How do you know when your sense of self is strong or weak? Interested to hear people's lived experiences.

Years of dissociation and masking makes it hard to feel what is me.

@actuallyautistic

samid,
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

@essie_is_okay @actuallyautistic
I love that sentence in you rbio."interdependence is beautiful" that's a new one. Nice creation.👍​💗​
"Loose sense of personality" . It's a trait. I had to experience the hard way, that everyone else is looking after themselves first and that I need to learn how to access that kind of stance in order to survive. I think it's not just dissociation and masking. It's also a genuine inclination and is connected to hyperempathy and hyperconnecetd thinking. Always seeing the whole and all the implications and inter relatedness that makes it impossible to perceive gain for oneself while noone else benefits.

undefined_variable, to actuallyautistic
@undefined_variable@mementomori.social avatar

@actuallyautistic Fedihive, urgent help needed. I'm in dire straits mentally and need a good an active enough peer support chat. Preferably something IRCish, but Discord and others will do too. If you know one, please let me know.

I know people here have offered to chat with me via PMs and I appreciate that (and apologies to all I've snubbed and ghosted, PMs are not my forte...) but right now I'd need a more communal setting.

samid,
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

@undefined_variable @Joni @actuallyautistic
when I put all of this info together about how online spaces have deteriorated and add the info about what happens to your data and the harm algorithms do. I come to think we should start building IRL structures of support. Like meetings. I wonder if it wouldn't be possible. If enough people that are used to talking online would be reaching out and looking around.

samid,
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

@undefined_variable @Joni @actuallyautistic
maybe it's a bit like with online shopping and stores closing- On one hand, I doubt that small minorities would have ever gotten to the point of selfdetermination that they have reached without the internet, on the other hand, the internet is a highly enshittificated place now in the hands of corps that destroy the world and its culture. We may have to start taking what we built here onto the ground of analogue life.

samid,
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

@Joni @undefined_variable @actuallyautistic
no. I 'm just asking myself those same questions. I think it takes a critical mass of people that want to take, what they have maybe experienced online, onto the ground. I believe it is being needed. The how to would wildly differ depending on the topic and kind of crowd you want to gather. And on your personal needs. But I do have an inkling that it takes for everyone to hone some relationship- building skills. I would see myself in the mummy role and that's why I refrain so far. I don't want that role right now. AFAIK groups. It takes for someone or preferably the whole collective, to have some of that spirit of caring for the whole, being prepared to invest rather then being single focused on immediate own needs being fulfilled. No . I am not an expert in group cohesion. I know what I don't want. I haven't seen what I want yet.

samid,
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

@undefined_variable @Joni @actuallyautistic
well. my life tells me, if enough people are analyzing what and why they felt powerless to change, it will be changed at some point. What was it that you weren't able to overcome? What If the next try is being started with that exact experience/learning on mind?

samid,
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

@undefined_variable @Joni @actuallyautistic
😂​now you got me all mixed up with former and la😂​tter. I get your meaning though. I believe trust (or lack thereof) is a crucial point in this. Could it be that trust is at an alltime low right now? Could it be that we would have to create a whole new platform for interpersonal relationships now?
All I can say is that I really struggle to name what i want, all I know is, it's not what I see.
What I want would have to include all the careful respect and learning about each others differences and needs and reasons why, that I have occasionally found here for instance. Adn there are so many more differences than there used to be, as many more groups now have a voice and terms to declare themselves by. And so many people haven't learned to navigate that yet. It requires a new culture. And when someones main problem is anxiety for example and trauma, well. They will have some difficulties while they learn.

samid,
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

@Joni @undefined_variable @actuallyautistic
true

samid,
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

@undefined_variable @Joni @actuallyautistic 😅​we're at the same point then. Interesting feedback. I believe it challenges everyone. And the only answer is to find new ways of connecting. I am thinkng about the ines of being more nakedly human. ownign up to ones vulnerability and need for connection. But alos having this unshakable focus on mutual support. On finding the impulses of love and nurturing those. On honesty about the rest.
It's a far cry from the for instance, political meetings that I can think of as reference. The best experiences I had were in womens' groups. But still.. The therapy and spirituality movement was great, as I experienced it, but it branched into commercialization and dried up as the creative and exploratory egalitarian space that it was. so. This all sounds like if we have to become creative and start a new culture. Need can be a good incentive.

samid,
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

@Joni @undefined_variable @actuallyautistic
I have explored trad. forms of spirituality. And I#d stay clear of them if looking for "the new". I think, and this is a sweeping generalizitaion, they are part of "the old". They offer exactly that secure feeling of "everyone belongs to the same tribe." Which is what has cracked open. And which we can't invoke if we want to stand up for our vulnerable selves and connect as individuals.
I do understand the pull, cus they all have this love thing in their program and it works as long as you don't question certain boundaries..... But no, definitely not the future, not for me.

samid,
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

@Joni @undefined_variable @actuallyautistic
it's notJjesus. The church is a patriarchal power tribe. They murdered him. ( if he ever exi😀​sted, that is)

samid, to feminism
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

"nine out of ten autistic women victims of sexual violence."
I do run into autistic men sometimes, that feel victimized. And there are many reasons for that, that we don't need to discuss. Just sometimes they start crying about girls having it easier. I know. you laugh, but it still happens. And there's also those neurodivergent men who suffer from not being able to be trad. men. Living up to toxic standards. And they get all bamboozled and start believing, women have an easier time. You laugh. But again. It happens. That's why I'm linking this paper, again. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35558435/
Some neurodivergent white males have never thought about intersectionality. I raised my kid in a poor neighborhood. The amount of misogyny that rains down on a female baby that acts out, screams, causes trouble, displays aggression, is ridiculous. There is a reason for female autistic masking. Which, together with gender data gap ( misogyny ) creates the four in one ratio in diagnoses of autism. The reason for masking is survival. And survival gets more difficult with each intersection you have in your life. I don't want to explain this time and again. Please, autistic males, get your colleagues up to speed.That's why I'm posting this.

@actuallyautistic

Thumptastic, to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic

I have found I read better, faster and more when reading at least three books. Obviously, I don't have three or more books open at once. I retain more if I "jump around." It stops the fatigue. I will read a book straight through if completely engaged.

Anyone else?

samid,
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

@Thumptastic @actuallyautistic all- the- fucking-time.

rebekka_m, to random
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

https://www.alfiekohn.org/blogs/autism - Alfie Kohn, 2020, on ABA, Applied behavior analysis, basically Skinner's operant conditioning, that STILL is in use for/with people, especially children:

"Suppose you participated in implementing a widely used strategy for dealing with homelessness, only to learn that the most outspoken critics of that intervention were homeless people. Would that not stop you in your tracks?"

Got the blog post via @rabbit_fighter, thanks.

samid,
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

@rebekka_m @actuallyautistic
would you care to fill me in on why you draw such a line between the term "emotional labour" and the masking process?

samid, to feminism
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

Remember the Hite-report?
you'd probably have to be over ffity for that. Revolutionary feminist sexologist Shere Hite, who fled the US after extreme backlash to her now widely accepted research and , as this description makes me think: fellow neurodivergent.
.https://www.theguardian.com/world/2024/jan/24/my-life-with-shere-hite-the-forgotten-feminist-who-changed-sex-for-ever
@actuallyautistic

samid,
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

@alexpsmith @actuallyautistic
neither did I, but this account is very personal and it sounds a bit familiar, also the bisexuality and the whole being different on every level and taking the unorthodox approach to everything, the strong sense of justice, the dancjng to her own melody...

samid, to random
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

and here's a generator, so you don't have to learn inkscape to join in the fun
https://antifagraphics.org/antifascist-logo-generator/

pallenberg, to fediverse
@pallenberg@mastodon.social avatar

Weil #Substack Nazi Content monetarisiert & sich dabei auf "Freedom of Speech" beruft, ziehe ich https://www.metacheles.de nach #Ghost bzw. #Transistor um.

Das ist ein verdammt saurer Apfel in den ich da beisse, denn Substack hat mir letztes Jahr fast 900 Abos gebracht.

Mund abwischen, hier kann es keine andere Entscheidung geben! Plus Ghost will ja wohl auch #ActivityPub implementieren.

Muss ich halt das #Fediverse haeufiger zuspammen 😇

samid,
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

@pallenberg
be part of a new market for a better substack. It may take a while.

samid, to nonbinary
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

#NonBinary #GenderQueer #GenderFluid #autgender
the binary is an illusion . Smile and let a flashflood of love run through all parts of you if you agree😀. We are not binary. And I mean us, the human race. We never were. We are just playing with polarities. And it's fun. I used to do ballroom dancing. It's great fun. It was even more fun when I started doing it with women only. Playing with the roles. Why can't we all be this flexible and whole? We have lots of different currents of emotions and conciousness inside of us. Not all of them express in gendered physical form. Gender is not a club to beat people into shape with. Patriarchy made it so. But that's just dark age violence. Gender is there for us to have fun with and play. On all levels. mentally, emotionally and physically. Live itself isn't binary. It forms all kinds of relations and shapes. Circles, triangles, polymorphous forms. The binary only exists in the imagination of people that want consciousness to be stuck in one form. For reasons of power, control and fear. That's a very impoverished state of being. Even when I have a heterorelationship I am only really close to my partner If I allow myself to ditch the binary. Most progressive men will know what I'm talking about. As a neurodivergent person I am much closer to this understanding as I am likely to not understand this artificial divide anyways. We need to help the rest out of their corset of unhappiness. Really. Holding up the binary is like arguing about whether god is a he or a she. Utterly silly. I bet you all know this, but I just was dancing this morning, realizing how much damage this does to our bodies wholeness and I had to say it again. It was latin and that culture is so steeped in this and I had to find music that didn't represent that.
@actuallyautistic

skaly, (edited ) to art
@skaly@mastodon.social avatar

I just made this new design and called it Eden. It feels like a blooming garden of crystals. It doesn't have to make sense, dare to dream people!

Shop is 50% off on orders of 4 or more items with code FULFIL before my move:
https://www.etsy.com/shop/genderlessbyskaly

samid,
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

@skaly
beautiful. That's the kind of jewelry I'd pick for being the queen. For shining.

rebekka_m, to actuallyautistic
@rebekka_m@fnordon.de avatar

I currently make an urgently needed clean slate regarding my browser tabs - and so read for the 100s time the Wiki article on . And it just came to me as a flash insight [the German word Geistesblitz is a thing in English, right?]: Masking could be compared to Emotional Labor https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_labor ! I learned about the underlying psychological strategies + concepts during my 2nd studies, also about advice on how to survive it sanely. Maybe this could be a support for @actuallyautistic?

samid,
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

@rebekka_m @actuallyautistic of course it is emotional labor. That#s why it is so akin to female masking (being nice, pretty and plyable and fulfilling other peoples needs) or the kind of masking that black people do in order to get along in a racist society. It is the kind of labor the the less powerful part in any given constellation has to give to the status part. Children are being taught by authoritarian parents the same thing. Be the person I want you to be. The person that fits my expectations.

dorgaldir, to Autism
@dorgaldir@mastodon-belgium.be avatar

@actuallyautistic

samid,
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

@Sibshops @dorgaldir @actuallyautistic
it is

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

What do you think is a subject that most people misunderstand, and if they were more educated in the topic it would probably change their mind?

samid,
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

@TeacherGriff @RickiTarr that's why I think autistic people are of such great value to society. They're existence questions social norms. We can help liberate ND world from that corset.

samid,
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

@RickiTarr feminism. But I wouldn't say most people. I'd say men are more likely to misunderstand in this case.

samid,
@samid@mastodon.de avatar

@RickiTarr @TeacherGriff
yes. social norms create masks. That's how they work. But there sure are a ton of people that adhere to them to a far far greater extent than I do and from whom they require less masking than what I would have to do.

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