I’m in my 30s so I should be used to this by now, but this shit is getting so stressful guys. I have no savings, my checking account is drained every month with rent, and if there’s ever a serious emergency I have no safety net, I’m legitimately fucked. I’m one unplanned expense away from absolute ruin. Those in the same boat as me, how do you deal with this?
I absolutely feel your pain and was in your situation for a long time. For over a decade as an adult, I lived well below the poverty line and was homeless for a couple stretches.
I obviously don't know you or your situation beyond what you shared, but I believe that you can improve your life just like I did. I was so poor and struggled for so long that I finally had enough and vowed to never be in that situation again. While the mindset helps, it was a long time of extra effort that got me into a comfortable position.
For me the biggest help was no one thing; it was a bunch of incremental improvements over about a decade. A jump to different jobs that pay even $1.50/hr more buy breathing room. I know you're not "buying too much avocado toast," but there might be ways to stretch your necessities budget; I hear that sometimes things get missed when using self checkouts.
Depending on where you are, there are hopefully food banks and living assistance services in your areas. If you need internet and don't have it, libraries are great places (and you can still check out books and movies for entertainment).
I wanted to write code for a living, so I got a computer science associates degree (not even a bachelor's); I went to school in the evenings and delivered pizzas when I didn't have class. This was on top of my day job. It was no picnic; I had a few meltdowns from being overworked and exhausted. You don't even need to go the school/degree route. We need skilled tradesmen. Pipe fitting, welding, carpentry, electrical work, etc... are always in need and they can provide a good quality of life.
My general view is fuck corporate loyalty. If you can jump ship and make more money elsewhere: do it. If you can't afford some recurring bill: stop paying it. You are more important than those business.
Look into assistance services now. Always be looking for a new job that will pay more. Identify a five year career goal and work toward it. It's not a today solution, but that was basically how I escaped being crushed by our system.
Hi there, I am trying to claw myself out of a financial hole myself and I would value your opinion.
I am currently pursuing an associates in computer science myself, I am curious how far/what kind of job that landed you. I am just wanting to see my options once I achieve getting the degree as well.
Not OP, but here are my 2 cents. You can’t really go wrong with that degree imho. Even if you only land an entry level job at the beginning, you can quickly advance from there. You just to have keep learning.
If you haven’t done so already, get a raspberry pi, install docker, get used to how it works. Destroy everything, start over. Get another pi, learn kubernetes.
You can stand out and succeed if you can learn and adapt to new technologies. The system doesn’t matter, it’s how you approach it.
Gotta either cut costs or increase pay. When I was living on $600 a month I roommated up, I applied for food assistance (SNAP), I bought a shitty craigslist car rather than picking up a car note, and I stuck to cheap cell carriers.
The last one is a place a lot of people could save a few dollars. T-mobile has a plan called t-mobile connect that is $15 a month with a few gigs of data. Works fine. Actually still use it now that I have a better job.
Ultimately you need to make more though. Think about all the skills you’ve gained in food service and retail and apply for another job you think you’d be good at. Imo anyone can do low level office work, for example. Sounds like you’re in the US, so keep an eye on Craigslist and Idealist.org (two engines where the jobs available are usually actually available unlike most search engines). Make it a habit of scrolling through and forming an opinion about what you would/wouldn’t like. Make a resume to fit (use chat gpt to help). Lie about things you’re pretty sure you could handle no problem but have no experience with. Once you get a better job do the whole thing again with the new experience to pad your resume.
When I had a job that didn’t pay enough, I did side work. For me, for a long time, that was reffing mens hockey.
Another time I was struggling I approached my boss and said I know I’m not your best employee right now, but I want to turn it around and get into a higher paying position. What do you need me to do? Then I did it, and moved up.
5 yrs ago we moved to anew city and I started over in a new thing. I took a job that didn’t really cover our bills, and my wife and I had to make some cuts.
But I wanted certain freedoms like the freedom to do my hobbies or take a vacation, so identified ways to earn additional income through the job I had (in my case it was handling little repairs like replacing smoke detector batteries and light bulbs, installing missing door stops and changing deadbolts). I’ve kept grinding until I took over for my boss, and I continue to handle repairs also. Effectively I work a job and side job at the same time 6 days a week. I work fucking hard, but I had nice vacations with my fam this summer, live in a good house and drive a good vehicle.
So honestly - and while I don’t think this is how it should be - in the system we have, I just grind harder. I am amazed at my ability to do this now in my 30s and now 40s compared to how lazy (in hindsight) I was in my 20s.
By the way! I’m also pretty happy now because my job is (mostly) ok, I don’t dread Mondays or anything most weeks.
It ain’t pretty, but here’s how I got through it until I started bringing in good money:
No takeout or eating out ever
Get a water filter pitcher and a nice water bottle. Drink only water.
Every paycheck, take out $200 or whatever you can afford. This is your “fun and gas” money. Your gas, hobbies, social life, and dating comes out of this fund. Whatever is leftover when your next paycheck hits goes into savings.
If you can rent a physically smaller place, do so. It will save on utilities.
Don’t buy a car unless public transportation or biking is not viable in your area.
Meal plan with the goal of zero food waste. So if you plan to buy an onion and will use half of it in one meal, make sure you have another meal planned that week that uses the other half. Do this with every ingredient. If you’re careful and creative you should never have to throw away food. - On this note, get good at cooking. It’s much cheaper to cook from scratch.
Cancel your streaming services and learn to pirate safely.
This works but isn’t a great way to live. You need to combine it with a plan to either make more money or relocate to a cheaper area while maintaining your current income.
If you have the option, buy stuff you’re always gonna need anyway in bulk when they’re on offer. Toilet paper, pasta, rice (except right now rice prices are exploding), coffee etc.
if your super market has marked down prices for “last date” or “close to use by” stuff, that section needs a visit every time you are in the super market
if you have a freezer, you have even more incentive for previous 2 tips
Do you have roommates? If not that is rather expected as a single guy with no family. Check you budgets but if you’re working a mcjob, likely will not see any real future. Mcjobs are for kids or those that just want some spare cash or don’t need the ‘responsible’ type of job. Job shop as many say here. Just do it. Keep in mind that real career type jobs that can eventually pay higher require you to take a real investment in what you want to do. Pick something that fits you in other words.
Sorry if it is kind of tough love advice. Most other posts have covered your typical suggestions but ultimately it comes down to solely the direction and effort you take.
This isn’t your situation, but this is how we did it while living very paycheck to paycheck. Plan and budget. We had a plan for everything. It hurt, but we planned our store trips, our meals were the sales and manager specials. We knew how much gas we were buying and which kid had birthdays and gifts to buy for, and we shopped ebay gift cards and scrapped by. We also made hard decisions, and it sucked. We cut cable, and other non essentials, we almost never went out. We were able to plan a path out, we refinanced our house, by taking a title loan on my car. We consolidated our cc debt.
What I’m trying to say is, you find a way. Maybe you can work towards a promotion, or a new career. Or find a different living situation which would be cheaper to help sort it out. Try not to lose hope, try to find a path to prosper. I’m pulling for you.
Keep a separate savings account. This won’t increase your income but it’s absolutely vital that you do this. I fully understand that you don’t have money for this, but here’s the idea: if you’re already broke at the end of the month, then what difference does it make if you’re broke one day earlier every month? Let’s say you have a payout of €3000 monthly. That means you have €100 for each day of the month. Put €100 in a savings account and you’ll go broke 1 day earlier, but you now have €100 saved for unexpected shit. Keep it up for a some months and you’ll have enough saved to deal with moving/changing jobs etc. Eventually you’ll adjust your expenses so you don’t get broke even if you set the money aside. You can figure this out. This is how my wife and I saved up for our marriage. By going voluntary broke before it actually happened.
Okay, once you have some “financial security” saved up, do you have a budget account? Keep a budget account so you don’t overspend. Only transfer the excess to your spending account, so you don’t spend money that was supposed to pay for the rent/electricity/internet/food. Whatever is in excess is safe to spend.
If this is not possible, then your financial life isn’t sustainable. Ask for a raise. Find a different job.
There was a time this was an option, but with the glut of CS grads out there I’d be shocked if this would be a viable path these days.
All else being equal, why would you pick the self-taught guy v. the guy with a degree in Comp Sci? They’re good skills to have regardless, but it sounds like you got very lucky (edit: to be clear, this doesn’t take away from the work you would’ve put in).
Does depend on the talent pool for system engineers where you are, though.
I want to be clear - the fact that I think you got lucky doesn’t take away from how skilled you are or would need to be. Self-taught != poor skills, at all. And yeah, if someone really wants to do something, they should give it a shot, market forces be damned.
But at the same time, you do need to consider the pool of talent you’re competing with. If you’re a self-taught systems engineer, you’re going to need to be really good, AND have some luck on your side during the hiring process. If you’re really good and you’re competing with other really good candidates who also have a formal education related to the skill-set, your chances are slim. And at the end of the day, you gotta eat. Then again, this is the perspective of a guy in a place bursting at the seams with grads with these skills (some of whom are, of course, morons, but many who aren’t but are still having difficulty breaking into this kind of work).
To anyone reading this - if you want to learn these skils, don’t let some jerk like me stop you, but recognize that you are at a disadvantage come hiring time. That said, a) if you get good, you can also get lucky - question becomes can you still feed yourself if you don’t, and b) they can open some slightly less obvious opportunities too (SAS business development, analytics, etc.)
I realized that paying rent was like throwing money into a bottomless pit. Obviously buying a house was out of the question so I bought a used RV and moved into that. I added solar panels and all the VanLife type stuff and now my biggest expense is for the storage unit I put all my stuff in. No more rent, no power, water or most other bills. StarLink is expensive but with all the other expenses eliminated it’s not bad at all.
While generally also necessary in the US, I’ve heard of ways to get around that. Some banks accept P.O. boxes in leiu of a physical address, some will work with you personally to navigate your circumstances, etc. I’ve also heard of services that will give you a “digital” (i.e. fake) address to juke the verification, which I’d definitely not trust, if for no other reason than you’d never receive your debit card.
General Delivery is a term for when you don’t have a street adress here in Canada, so you still get your mail from somewhere (I’m not talking Amazon “Delivery”.) So when my friend moved to a new province and was living out of a van he contacts a local office and sets up General Delivery, his address was Dude c/o Post Office Address General Delivery. They hold it till you pick up your mail. You give this to the bank or anyone that needs a mailing address. We also have rural communities with PO Boxes at a main PO, and you can rent one. A PO box is all i had as a youth and opened government and bank accounts with it. UK must have something similar no?
Also you can do maintenance the dirty way because you’re probably going to write off the RV/trailer over time, while with a house you want to do it the proper way in order to be able to sell it.
Similar to what others have said you need to make some changes. Figure out how the game works. Get educated. Find a new job, get certs, go back to school, rehab your credit, find a cheaper place, make moves.
Going to be USA centric because I don’t need you doxxing yourself, just giving you ideas of what to look for where ever you happen to be.
If you’ve got solid internet access and enough work/life stability that you can start doing research into any government assistance programs and community groups that help navigate the processes that are in the area.
I live in the USA, and my partner and I finally got poor enough that we could get enrolled in Medicaid (Medicare is for the old folks). Partner found that the Medicaid would pay for a pretty serious surgery they’d kinda been needing for years (the final price that the government paid was a bit more than $30,000).
Back when I spent more time in Reddit, there was a post on in r/AntiWork about some USA government assistance in paying for internet (and possibly a cheap smart phone). I looked into it, found we qualified, and the process wasn’t too hard to navigate on my own.
There is a program called LIHEAP (i think that’s the name) that is assistance in paying for energy bills. We didn’t qualify for it last year when I looked into it but my good paying job last year was temporary and now I’m in a job making about 600~800 less as a part-time but permanent employee. I should probably find the website and see if we’re poor(er) enough to qualify for some help paying for electric bills.
Food stamps (WIC, SNAP) for assistance buying groceries. This one can get weird as they tend to be run state by state in the USA and the requirements can often times be super shitty. If you’ve got a stable job, even if its shitty, that might make things easier.
Look around for local food pantries and see how they work. Don’t be surprised if they’re run by churches and you’ve got to sit through a sermon before you get a bag of groceries. You might get lucky and the pantry is funded by a grant and needs part time workers they will be willing to kick a bit of paid work you’re way (assuming you have the time).
Its desperation money, but there is Amazon’s Mechanical Turk program. Piecemeal work online or doing survey’s for a few cents a pop. It can help buy a tank of gas or replace a cheap busted cell phone but I’ve never made much more than that when I spent a whole lot of time on it. When my anxiety about money gets really bad and I need to put the energy somewhere I’ll fire up my account. I’m pretty sure this has an international reach so it won’t be geo blocked. FYI, it doesn’t play will with VPN’s.
I’ve tried a few “do consumer survey’s online for money” websites and the only one that I ever had any “success” with was called InboxDollars. And by success, I mean that a few times over the years, I could spend many hours during a month and scrape together about 30$. Though I think its a USA based company and its geo locked. FYI, it doesn’t play well with VPN’s.
During the pandemic in the USA, i spent most of the time without work of my own (I live on a working farm with my spouse so one of us had an income) and spent about 18 months out the first three years of the COVID pandemic selling blood plasma. If you’ve got two days a week that you can spend hooked up to a machine that drains your blood, separates it, and pumps in back into you (and leaves you feeling pretty crappy for the rest of the day) and can handle lying pretty still with a huge needle in your arm, the pay was kinda okay. I’d get kicked in the summer months when it got too hot for my body to recover well enough between visits but I also have to do outside farm work that you might not need to do. If you do this regularly, it does leave some pretty gnarly scars in your elbow pits, which can lead to some amusingly random conversations with strangers in public.
In the USA, its seems like the US Post Office doesn’t like to post their open jobs outside of their internal job posting database. Though it seems like USPS jobs are either “work crazy hours, where ever we tell you” or “barely work any hours”.
I spent about a year and a half working at a University museum as a museum curation lab technician, no experience needed, didn’t have to be a student or plan on going into the field. Which, maybe it was just me being lucky, but it was a pretty sweet job. Flexible hours, chill work environment, chill coworkers, surprisingly decent pay, got to play with old arrow heads and spear points and pottery sherds and sort through boxes and do paperwork about what was in them… the two negatives were that in my case what I found was a temp job and I spent an whole lot of time alone without human interaction (which I’m super cool with, but not everybody else is). This is another one of those things that probably won’t be posted on public job search websites so you’re going to have to dig around local university/colleges with museum collections and find their internal job posting site.
So yeah, I know in my mind taking advantage of assistance programs feels “wrong” but I’ve had to start getting over it and the things that I’ve managed to figure out how to apply to and qualify for have definitely been worth it.
Once you qualify for any assistance program (and you are not exploiting a loophole) you don’t have to feel bad for using it. You are literally the target audience of the program.
Its also a bit eye opening to grow up thinking that you’re, “Not rich, but not poor”, and then realizing that, “Nope, I’m poor.” Its a bit of a shock to the system.
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