No. Sussed out, means to work something out. Usually implies a certain amount of trial and error, or coming to the realization slowly, depending on the context.
So, “I sussed out how to work the printer”.
Sus, in British English didn’t really have any meaning until the game came out.
“sus” short for “suspicious,” often linked to the video game Among Us which became very popular during the pandemic. I’m not sure if that was the origin; the Zoomers seem to like their abbreviations (“rizz” being short for “charisma” is another example) but Among Us definitely popularized it.
Idk about everywhere else, but “sus” or “suss”has been common slang for “suspicious/suspect” in Australia, the UK and New Zealand for at least several decades.
I would never dare do that to my child because my parents never did such a thing with me so it feels so disrespectful.
E: Guess I’m back with the unpopular opinion again. I’m not telling you what you should do, I’m telling you what I wouldn’t do. But please, feel free to disrespect your children however you see fit. 🤭
E2: ITT people who think that respecting their children is special treatment that needs to be treated by a professional. My condolences to their childhoods and their crotch goblins. The quality of responses is quite telling. Take your traumas out on me, it’s ok.
The incredibly high horse of showing basic respect to your kids? 😂 It’s great, and I highly recommend it to those of you who never had that growing up. Or do you mean the high horse of simply sharing my opinion? Because wtf are you on about high horses, honestly. If you felt moralized, that’s on you. The shoe fit, and I apologize like your parents never did.
If you haven’t understood any if my other comments it sould make sence you’re a kid. All you had to do was walk away with your 7 Ls now but you refuse and come back for more.
We know that, through much study, it really isn’t. And the negatives outweigh the positives especially compared to other methods. It’s a trauma response more than anything at that point and if it does work they probably just used those skills to realize what an asshole the shamer was/is.
Yeah I’m with you a 100%, but this very much isn’t appropriate behaviour towards a child imo. They may recover, or they may end up on Lemmy rationalising it 20 years later as “hazing” to the horror of onlookers.
JFC. How will the child ever recover from a joke they figured out in the middle! Poor kid is probably still in therapy 31 years later! Just their life completely ruined by realizing a can of paint can’t come in two different colors. I think the dad should be in jail to this day for such heartless abuse.
You and another person can experience the exact same things and one can be traumatized while the other is not. Telling your children lies can be traumatic no matter what the context is, because it teaches the kid not to believe what you say is true or to expect fuckery, a bit like the crying wolf thing.
Am I traumatizing my children telling them about Santa?
Personally I’m good with my children being suspicious of me. Don’t trust me blindly just because I’m an authority, trust me because you know me and my motivations.
Am I traumatizing my children telling them about Santa?
Depending on what you are telling them, you could be. If they are afraid of Santa and you use him as a boogeyman, absolutely. If you teach your kids that he is always watching and judging, and can be used to exact punishment against them, there’s potential for it to cause trauma.
Teaching kids little myths for fun is generally harmless, but inventing things for your kids to be scared of, especially to exert psychological control over them, can do real harm. Actively lying to children because you think they’re stupid or gullible just earns you a shit reputation with your kids as they grow older and realize you don’t have any respect for them.
Don’t trust me blindly just because I’m an authority, trust me because you know me and my motivations.
Or don’t trust you, because you told lies and destroyed the foundation of trust by doing so.
Love when everyone on the internet turns into a developmental psychologist because of some ribbing.
I’ve been bullied, beaten, hell I’ve watched people die. Those are traumatic.
Being asked to find a thing that doesn’t exist is not traumatic. It might be a little mean, but it does teach a lesson to use your head when you’re working on projects.
Just because it wouldn’t be traumatizing to you doesn’t mean it cannot be traumatizing. Different people have different levels of tolerance. If you harass and humiliate your child by making up bullshit tasks for them to do, they might grow up with trust issues that at least partially stem from you, an authority figure, lying to them and treating them with disrespect for your own entertainment. If that were the only bad thing you ever did to your kid, maybe it would be an overreaction, but behaviors like that don’t usually exist in isolation - if you’re bullying your kid for fun, it’s probably not a one-off.
You can try to rationalize to yourself that your behavior is okay, but it won’t make your adult children visit for the holidays again. Childhood trauma can be healed, usually by cutting the shitty people from your childhood out of your life and learning to love and trust yourself and the family you choose.
Tl;Dr: If you want your kids to love and respect you when they grow up, treat them with love and respect when they’re kids.
Are we doing pain olympics? Just because someone has it better or less immediately noticeable doesn’t mean it’s less valid. It might be less extreme but telling they don’t have trust issues because you saw someone die doesn’t help anyone.
I’m sorry you had to go through that, it sounds awful. Being regularly expected to be and treated like a gullible idiot by people who have power over you isn’t fun either.
I’ve been beaten up daily at school when I was little and none of it bothered me as much as my parents not being supportive when I was in my late teens, but sticks and stones amirite?
They were my best friends and now I never speak to them and just wait for them to go quietly into the night so I can have some free real estate. Guess I’m just a sensitive snowflake liberal who got #triggered but the joke’s on them.
Just because it’s not some bombastic action scene of people dying or some shit doesn’t make something not traumatizing.
what humourless parenting. sorry, but “red and white striped paint” in the context of a happy and healthy relationship is very unlikely to be traumatic.
I’m not here to play olympics with people who struggle to empathize with others. I’m sorry awful things have happened to you, that doesn’t give you any right to invalidate someone else’s pain.
That took me, like, a minute to google both of those answers. C’mon, dude.
Yea good point. I tried to search “does shaming actually teach” but needed to move to “does shaming someone…”. Reading the articles I think “humiliation” is more the keyword here.
The problem with shame, in my experience, has been that it might reinforce one very specific thing strongly but it also closes people off to learning anything else. If they learn the wrong thing, new information changes what’s right, or they simply don’t know something yet it’s hard for them to admit that they’re wrong/missing info.
Being shouted at by an authority figure for leaving your dishes out, for example, might make sure you can’t see a dish without remembering that horrible event so you put it away but the extra baggage that comes with is so not worth it, not even a little.
Maladaptive learning, being bullied into certain behaviors makes you worse at others.
You learn a task like washing dishes but also a behavior like focusing only on outward appearance or letting other considerations go to the wayside to complete visually obvious tasks - the result may be using short cuts like improper cleaning methods which result in sickness (cleaning only the visible dirt) but also could lead to a culture of hiding faults (why do our guns look so clean but misfire so often, why are these reports filled in neatly and completely but ikey information is often wrong or fabricated)
The army and others try moving away from it but of course it’s hard getting the changes through to people because when the army experts say ‘stop hazing it’s making us worse’ everyone that was hazed says ‘I was hazed and I’m the best possible version of myself!!!’ or ‘This is just liberal nonsense making us weak!’
100% for days, yea. None of it ever gets to the root cause and it all comes back eventually.
It feels like most of the world runs on it from thousands of years of reinforcing those behaviours. If the threat of death or jail time is what you got for communication, even just as the messenger, then why even bother?
It really isn’t. Think about a kid embarrassing their parent over some tech thing they don’t know.
*Taking from my other reply:
To understand something (think critically) you need to know the information. So it boils down to embarrassing someone for not knowing things. There is too much in life to know absolutely everything, thus my example on tech.
The parent is supposed to teach the child that information. Not mock and embarrass them for not already knowing it.
My grandmother can use her iPhone just fine, thanks. Old people just grew up still very deep in the “shame” style of teaching and so many are incredibly hesistant to learn knew things. They ‘re either proud they don’t know so it’s “cool” or laugh it off and say “haha old dog!”. Learning the new thing would require exposing themselves to a lot of information they don’t know and the struggle of learning it which all that trauma makes them afraid of.
I could see how sending a kid to the store might be a bit too far, but aside from that it’s just harmless teasing. Nothing more than a mild practical joke.
Kids can handle jokes. It’s important to learn to laugh at yourself and not take everything seriously. Otherwise you just end up being boring and stuck up.
Personally I don’t think it’s too far either–I’d agree with you. I just meant I understand how someone might think “embarrassing” the kid infront of a stranger may be too far
I think there is an important lesson here though. It’s not really about not knowing but not thinking. An inquisitive nature is hard to instill, jokes/games/play are ways humans communicate these abstract processes.
I don’t disagree, but there are variations in how these go. This one here aounds like a friendly, good-natured way to teach a younger mind not to believe everything they hear
This isn’t hazing, is a father son joke. People thinking this is hazing is my point.
Hazing: " The imposition of strenuous, often humiliating, tasks as part of a program of rigorous physical training and initiation. “army cadets were hospitalized for injuries caused by hazing” humiliating and sometimes dangerous initiation rituals, especially as imposed on college students seeking membership to a fraternity or sorority. “seven officers of the fraternity were charged with hazing” "
Walking to a store for paint that doesn’t exist does not align with the severity described in the definition from Oxford languages. OP experienced a prank.
Yes ‘it’s just a prank’ that magic excuse which works 100% of the time at convincing no one.
I’m not playing semantics, what I’m saying is that this type of behavior however you label it is often harmful in a number of ways.
You disagree and that’s why I likened you to the boomers who used to say ‘I was beaten and it never did me any harm’ society will continue to improve and one day people will look back and say ‘wow watching old media is hard, they’re all such needless assholes, no wonder they were always having so many proplems’
Being sent to walk to the store is not a beating. It is not hazing.
Not being able to take a harmless prank (yes I mean harmless. Walking to a store and asking an employee for a product that does not exist is not harm) is fragility.
I agree, jokes like this are for mean-spirited people. Could you take a second and file the report with Lemmy HQ for the both of us? Last I knew the main report inbox was on the fediverse sidebar.
It’s something a lot of building companies are trying to fight because it creates a toxic workplace where people are scared to look foolish so don’t ask questions, they did studies and it’s related to higher levels of workplace accidents and expenditures.
I’m sure plenty of people will jump in to say that it separates men from boys or the normal excuses for bullying.
It’s critical thinking. In life, it’s not always about knowing but about understanding.
It’s also about having thick skin and the ability to take a joke. Nobody is hurt, it is funny when you think about it, and it will encourage you to think about things in the future.
I do not need to know turn signals don’t require blinker fluid. Because it’s a fuckin light bulb.
The people in this comments section are acting like this is somehow traumatic. How fucking sheltered are you people?
We told the dumbass that worked with us at Wal-Mart he needed to fill up the water fountain. He made 3 trips to the hose and back with one of those big Gatorade coolers dumping it down the drain on the fountain before someone asked him what he was doing. It was hilarious. If it wasn’t for the entertainment value he provided I would have hated that guy for all the problems he caused being an idiot.
And honestly I’m just amazed at how thin skinned people are that they’re labeling a harmless joke as traumatizing. If you really need everything in life explained to you, expect to not get very far.
Aww cry more about it. I’m an LGBTQ refugee that fled Russia. Most of my life I’ve lived under the constant very present fear of deportation, death or at least homelessness, just to hold on another day. What’s worse is I fled to the UK, which looks more and more like Russia every day.
Very little bothers me personally and if anything I have developed an unhealthy habit of thriving on conflict, but that doesn’t prevent me from empathising with others and seeing how some things affect people differently.
It’s called going outside and touching grass and realising people have different contexts for things and that the world is very harsh and parents need not pile on that shit for a kid who may already have trust and confidence issues and viewing things systemically - using actual critical thinking - rather than simply humble bragging about how “tough” you are and how everyone else must be thin skinned and weak.
It’s a slippery slope to reactionary thinking of “good” and “bad” people and that makes it way worse than just macho posturing. I hope you can see my perspective but good day either way.
And nowhere in there did you touch on how sending a kid to the store for striped paint could somehow cause trauma, rather than teach a valuable lesson about gullibility, critical thinking, and being able to laugh at one’s self.
Not everything in this world is as serious as escaping a country to avoid punishment or death for who you are. Having the emotional intelligence to differentiate between the serious and light hearted is something a person should develop when they’re young or life will be much harder for them.
cause trauma, rather than teach a valuable lesson about gullibility, critical thinking, and being able to laugh at one’s self.
Because it was already stated in the thread: parents shouldn’t lie to their children to take advantage of their trust to teach them that trusting them leads to them set up for embarrassment and that they’re an idiot. Idk how this isn’t obvious but I guess beating kids was acceptable and reasonable too.
Emotional intelligence to differentiate
That’s absurd, what’s funny and light-hearted to one is usually at the expense of another (in this case), and sans reading their mind, you have no idea how they feel about your “just banter bro”, you’re just assuming this because you have no ability to imagine that anyone at any time might feel differently to you and you’re scared to confront that idea.
I’m not saying that harmless playful teasing is impossible or should be banned, but this doesn’t really come off as that, and the experiences ITT don’t either, especially with descriptions of such things as “hazing” which often also includes things that are without question just violent abuse/bullying.
To understand something (critically think) you need to know the information. So it boils down to embarrassing someone for not knowing things. There is too much in life to know absolutely everything, thus my example of the kid embarrassing the parent for some tech thing they don’t know.
The parent is supposed to teach the child that information. Not mock and embarrass them for not already knowing it.
These types of light hazing are actually trying to lower the stakes. The greybeards get to tell the stories of when they were young and dumb going on snipe hunts. we all make mistakes, developing the ability to laugh at YOURSELF is important. Its an inoculation against embarrassment. If someone is so prideful that they cant stand to ever be wrong, when the make a mistake that matters, they will try to hide it and that is when things go from bad to worse.
They will hide mistakes when mistakes are not accepted. When they will be punished or laughed at for making mistakes. So which parent will kids trust? The one that sets them up to be embarrassed? Or the one that is safe to approach?
There are plenty of mistakes in life, you really don’t need to set up your kids to make even more. All you’re teaching your kid is that they can’t trust you, to whatever degree.
This, it’s the taking it to extremes that’s making people down vote.
There’s a large difference between some light ribbing with friends/family and someone being an abusive ass.
I have a good friend who can be very easily triggered by any sort of joke that could potentially be taken as an insult. I am very sure it’s because his parents and older siblings were assholes to him growing up, but also partially he hasn’t seemingly grown/learned to not take himself so seriously all the time.
Here’s an example of a funny situation that he had extremely negative reaction to, we were having a daily short meeting where we clap at the end as a group (like 12 or so people total) and he walks up right at the end of the meeting and says, “I came just in time to catch the clap.” Laughter ensues. Feelings are hurt and I then spent my lunch break talking him down from his anger/resentment for the group members and explaining how while yes it’s sorta on him because of his poor wording, it was legit funny and people laughing about it isn’t an insult, he could have laughed along when he realized what he said.
The problem was two fold, he didn’t understand why it was funny, and he thought people were laughing AT him. Was it ABUSIVE HAZING? not at all
I shouldn’t bother engaging with you either. You throw around the word abuse, when talking about a joke regarding striped paint, I honestly dont know where to start with that kind of mentality. Here I go anyway. Constant insults can be abusive, yes. Belittling a child is abusive, absolutely. Striped paint or left handed screw drivers are not that. I am actually raising kids, I am there for them when they need it. When they are in a stable place, I push them to grow. Sometimes that means going a bit farther on our hikes, sometimes it means sounding out the word themselves, or working out the math problem for themself, and sometimes it means pushing them to handle their emotions better. Sometimes it means learning to take a joke.
You’re getting down voted but you’re not wrong. This was me until high-school. Luckily I had a couple really good teachers who always said there was no such thing as a stupid question as long as you’re asking genuinely and backed it up by giving genuine answers even in unrelated topics. Helped me grow confident and love to learn. I was never a dumb student just had a lot of anxieties and self esteem issues.
I understand a bit of chiding and light hazing can also help but it should never be overly mean and it shouldn’t be a blanket technique. Some people just work differently.
Yeah. In this case you’d need to know that paint is a liquid, and comes in a can. Is it logical that paint is going to come in stripes? How would that be applied to a brush? How would that be applied to a wall?
If you take 2 seconds to think you realize this is a nonsensical request.
If you think everything in this world needs to be explained to you, you aren’t going to get very far. Also an important lesson to learn.
Learning to use a software interface, or the intricacies of how a thing works is not necessarily dependant on critical thinking. Understanding that a light bulb is not powered by blinker fluid, or that a liquid paint could not possibly be sold and applied to a wall in stripes is dependent on critical thinking.
On work experience the guy sent me to get a long weight and I was like to myself ‘fine ill go look for something that doesn’t exist and have my lunch too. If you want a long wait…’ I go back and he gets off his ladder exasperated, goes to the van and gets a long string plumb line.
I think he was using it to align a speaker so that the cable drop would be vertical to the hole where the cable came out. It was something like that, it was about 25 years ago so details as hazy.
On a drive when I was ten, I asked my dad why the tall, skeletal towers had blinking lights. He said so planes wouldn’t crash into them. So I asked what the towers were for, and he said to hold up the lights.
Never really see those around here anymore. I have a few in old tractors, but most of them have been lost by now and replaced with box end wrenches of single sizes.
My high school chemistry teacher told me that when he was in university, they’d send the frosh chem majors down to the depot to get a “bucket of mercury”. The depot guys would be in on it and fill up a bucket and laugh at them while they struggle to move it. Even a small bucket would weigh something like 200 lbs.
Not long ago they didn’t care so much about that. He also talked about how they’d play with it with their bare hands. He’s not dead because mercury is only toxic when ingested.
Edit: in retrospect, he is dead. I forgot that cancer got him a few years back and that high school was 30 years ago…
He’s not dead because he absorbed so much chemicals over the years it all cancelled out. Those tech room uni workers are supermutants. That’s why you are so scared of them instinctively when meeting one for the first time.
Yes, but every liquid has a vapor pressure because some moleciles always evaporate - else anything wet would never dry unless heated to water’s boiling point.
For mercury it’s fairly low at room temperatures but because it accumulates in the body, frequent exposure to unsealed mercury is harmful.
I’m not an expert, but from what little I remember: mercury doesn’t immediately kill you like other poisons. What it does do is build up in your body until it hits a tipping point and starts causing problems. Your body has no way to process or get rid of it. Which was why accumulations of it in seafood was a big deal because eat enough of it, even in tiny amounts over a long time, and it starts to mess you up. The amount of mercury that you would be exposed to by breathing near an open source would be minimal I imagine. Or something like that. Like I said. Not an expert. Better to just stay away from it entirely, I’m sure.
When I was a starting line cook, they told me to recirculate the air in the freezer. I said “what?” They said “recirculate the air in the freezer.” while handing me one of those giant black trash bags. I opened the door to the freezer, opened up the bag fully, and then went “wait a minute…” they had a laugh, and I started eyeing all of their requests through the lens of “is this bullshit?”
Later on, at more professional jobs, they have the same sort of requests. Not ones that are hazing jokes, but just actual bullshit assignments that mean very little, are looked at by nobody, and that accomplishes nothing. Except now those assignments are like 90% of the job. Hooray office work among middle management!
If they’re yelling/aggressive about it, it’s not as funny. People are just going to feel pressured which is lame compared to someone subtly making a ridiculous request that has every right to be questioned
I used to work in a hardware store. One day a guy came in looking for a skyhook.
After we called his boss to confirm the situation (this was well before cell phones), we all had a good laugh. I think the boss was shocked he fell for it.
Other classics are in aviation asking them to grab a bucket of prop wash, and then the numerous automotive ones like blinker fluid, muffler bearings, etc.
Huh, interesting. I wouldn’t have thought that adding a nitrogen compound to the exhaust would reduce the amount of nitrogen oxides, but I guess urea is a good reducing agent.
We used to have ramp newbies handle the lavs as a sort-of right of passage. The Lav fluids we called “blue juice.” One day I told a newbie to go to maintenance and get a bucket of “red juice.” He disappeared for an hour. We were wondering where the hell he went about when he showed up looking a bit stressed out, actually carrying a bucket of red fluid of some sort. Apparently he started going around the entire airport’s maintenance shops asking them one by one for red juice, none of them knowing what the hell he was talking about. Instead of asking for clarification over the radio he just kept going. Eventually somebody in a completely different concourse poured some hydraulic fluid in the bucket for him. I was a bit astonished and then had to figure out what the hell I was going to do with a bucket of hydraulic fluid.
At work get emails from all over the world from different departments, all in different languages. Most of the European languages I can sort of work out, at least a bit, but I have no idea with German at all, it just looks like a bunch of random letters.
I was crossing the street with my mom once and the crosswalk beeped indicating it was safe to cross. She asked, “Why does it beep like that?” I said, “It’s for the deaf people.” We crossed and then she started laughing. She said, “You asshole.”.
I mean, definitely some anger issues. But normally when they’re kids, the anger issues (MOST of the time) come from the parents’ parenting.
Like unless you’re chemically imbalanced (normally runs in the family, so people should know if they carry it, or have some other existing condition, that level of anger is a Nurture and not a Nature.
My dad sent me out for headlight fluid and VW-20 elbow grease if you can’t tell.
Or they could have just busted in a screen door lmao
“Broke a door” could mean damn near anything, maybe a piece of molding came off. Doesn’t necessarily mean that they took an ancient oaken door off its hinge or something
Imagine the nurse goes in on it and gave them something. That would be somebody who ends up on “Tell me something someone convinced you was true but you realize later in life was bullshit”
Actually, we need a bunch of people to do that. Start seeding future content. In like 20 years it’ll pay off.
My friend’s dad thought he could send me to ask my dad for a square drill bit when I was like 10 but my dad had me helping him build an airplane in the garage as young as possible. So I told him I know more than you meme
Except it’s all at once, rather than you having to drill the hole and then chisel it out. The chisel part of the bit pushes the wood towards the drill part of the bit as you drill, and then the drill part of the bit removes that wood, same as the wood the bit is actually drilling through
They do indeed really cut square holes. They’re called mortising bits. Like the other commentor stated, they’re basically a combination of a chisel and a drill. The drill does most of the work in waste removal while the square blades give you 90° corners.
One could also potentially consider a rotary broach to be a “square drill” (supposing that it is a square and not a hex or other shape).
Due to how my brain works (ADHD), I specifically have trouble with being concise. So, despite what you may think, I find your accurate and concise explanation to be excellent.
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