some things sleep can't reach
to heal, some broken things high-
shelved and time dusted
and even if you could heal
could you heal, really,
and be the person you are
now in the wild world
weather worn and wiser, ha!
wise through surviving,
enduring, isn't wiser -
just quitting refused
or not pretty enough yet
to get married to
so i lay my weary head
and still hope for miracles
i turned none to rock
they wanted what i didn't
how quickly they cut
from soft pleas to violence
of course i'm angry
that i fought but couldn't stop
them ripping apart
all i tried to hold my own
my hands in their blood
their stopped stone hearts a demand
love, or learn terror
i can feel the world fading
taste what they'll make me
when they come to take my head
i'll be drawn monstrous
a weapon to make men rage
and maids remember their place
a wound up springing
thing made of sun and dancing
and raw speed waiting
unleashed when the chase begins
dust kicked up by hooves,
clawed paws, all speed and angles
across the dirt plain
realtime physics of capture
collide, evasion
a battle for life fighting
the straining for sustenance
day's a haze - grey teeth
and metallic clanging claws
winged things in the sky
calling doom to each other
back at the cold house
landlord's raised the rent again
walls crawl with black mould
eerie beasts in damp spotting
haunt the thin grey dawn
when coughing rips sleep away
no meter tokens
no heating or hot water
shiver, cold sink wash
hunt change for the bus - it's your
duty to work, remember
Country living serves me well
The big city offers many thrills
But nothing like a warm breeze
Whispering through the pines
Cows serenading each other
Across lush green pastures
An expansive bright blue sky
Caressing a graceful swallow tail
The fragrance of the wisteria
A joy like no other
drowned - sunken - i dream
tentacles - yes - so subtle -
looking for ingress
or a tug of war playmate
to tear and empty -
i never loved deep water
nor did i hate it -
it just hurts to be above
that world long left behind -
as a child i tried to walk
into the north sea -
determined to see places
memento'd in code
inscribed in the redundant
parts of cells beyond recall
if we all must break
we all must break but those who
break in line with tradition
may not feel fractured -
their crevasses streamline flow
while ours, cross cut, inhibit
eventually you learn it's a game
with debatable and flexible rules
something to accept as is
or break your mind against
i chose the latter
feeling as effective as the flies
that used to try to stop my car
dead - i like to think they learned
and moved on, unlike me
although i know they didn't
and they're not here now
because we thought justice
was something for courtrooms
walking in the darkness,
the light ahead brought hope
an end to the black
but
the light moved
like a flame
was is it a torch
it was a beautiful blue green
the closer he got
the anticipation grew
what produced such light
the only light for miles
in the glow
he saw a lamp post
but... he observed
it was a cat
a burning cat
sitting atop the lamp post
it was beautiful
it spoke
guessed the weight of a jar of sweets once
at some sort of fete
crepe and ribbons and vegetables
with big bones or glandular conditions
slept that night like an empty cardboard box
in heavy rain
dissolving mushward
to heaped beige britishness
in a tent you could claim the number of bulls
or perhaps the sweets were numbered
the bull weighed, perhaps we tried to estimate
ounces lost to piss trickled on rank straw
you are the pack
flowed fur waterish
in moon's easing
of the shadows
silvered hunger
and coordinated want
ghosted absence
the shaped stink of almost dogs
in the almost void
of your almost smile
your rushing
in every glance
and i run
futile
and certain of it
hoping you're not
as hungry as I am
hoping
you're
hungrier