jstatepost, to internet
@jstatepost@mstdn.social avatar

🥥 Mastodon engagement tip #2:
TIL, accidentally, that posting a toot about Capybaras will get you massive -- within reason -- interaction on the Fediverse.
A survey with an admittedly small sample indicates that Capybaras are the decentralized version of eyeball cocaine that dogs and cats are on corporate social media. 🥥
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lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar
jstatepost, (edited )
@jstatepost@mstdn.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts
🥥 Seriously, Mr Facts, "Finnegan's Wake''s the book James Joyce wrote by throwing darts.
"Portrait of the Artist As A Young Man," is actually an engaging read.
After "The Dubliners," an embittered Joyce turned his back on any attempt at readability, retaliating for having been given 2 first names, one of which was a woman's.
He could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes. 🥥
#JamesJoyce, #LowQualityFacts, #TuckersBalls

dannotdaniel, to random
@dannotdaniel@mastodon.social avatar

England has a new Queen and her name is Victoria 🤩

jstatepost,
@jstatepost@mstdn.social avatar

@cynthiarose @dannotdaniel
🥥 Now Eye CAN'T unsee the cat in that milkshake, Cynthia! 🥥
#Milkshake, #Farage, #QueenVictoria, #TuckersBalls

stevesilberman, to random
@stevesilberman@newsie.social avatar

Here's Rupert Murdoch getting his usual fawning society-page coverage describing him as an "incorrigible romantic," rather than as "One of the most evil men alive, up to his neck in blood, responsible for the corrosion of democracies worldwide and the spread of medical misinformation that has killed millions." https://ca.style.yahoo.com/news/rupert-murdoch-marries-fifth-wife-121924735.html

jstatepost,
@jstatepost@mstdn.social avatar

@thepoliticalcat @stevesilberman
🥥 Eye think that baby has left the womb, PoliticalCat.
Blessed event for the happy couple, Voldemort Murdoch and his fifth bride?
Haven't seen the Vegas odds, but Eye'll bet they're long. 🥥
#TheMurdochMarriages, #RandyRupert, #FifthTimeIsTheCharm, #TuckersBalls

Free_Press, (edited ) to news
@Free_Press@mstdn.social avatar

BREAKING NEWS 🚨🚨🚨

Judge Juan Merchan sets a Trump sentencing date of July 11, 2024

Donald J. Trump found GUILTY ON ALL 34 FELONY COUNTS!

The maximum prison time Trump can receive is 4 years!
#AureFreePress #News #press #headline #GOP #Politics #uspolitics #uspol #government #Trump #MAGA #Republicans #Breaking #BreakingNews

GUILTY... GUILTY... GUILTY

jstatepost,
@jstatepost@mstdn.social avatar

@Free_Press
🥥 Convicted Felon Donald Trump racked up 34 convictions today.
Eye'm personally looking forward to him receiving many more. 🥥
#34, #Trump, #Convictions, #TuckersBalls

jstatepost, to ai
@jstatepost@mstdn.social avatar

🥥 Call for venture capital!
Eye'm starting a gourmet food company that will fill the growing demand for artisanal rocks and pizza-topping glue.
Before you ask, yes, there WILL be a significant role for AI in company operations.
Interested individuals are encouraged to respond with money offers in the comments below. 🥥
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ComicContext, to random
@ComicContext@mstdn.social avatar
jstatepost,
@jstatepost@mstdn.social avatar

@ComicContext
🥥 Eye, for one, will welcome our octopus overlords. 🥥
#Octopus, #Octopi, #TuckersBalls

the_etrain, to random
@the_etrain@beige.party avatar

The Scoville scale, but for how spicy a hot take is.

jstatepost,
@jstatepost@mstdn.social avatar

@the_etrain
🥥 Chief, is there a scale for how biting a side-eye is when throwing shade?
Seems to me this could be as important to calibrate as Scoville units in spicy hot takes. 🥥
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lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

She means it too, I can see it in her eyes.

jstatepost,
@jstatepost@mstdn.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts
🥥 Pleez show us on the doll, Emma, where Bigfoot hurt you. 🥥
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jstatepost, to mtg
@jstatepost@mstdn.social avatar

🥥 Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) auditioned for Real Housewives of the Republican caucus at last night's House Oversight Committee hearing.
The hearing was supposed to be about GOP attempts to hold US attorney general Merrick Garland in contempt, for reasons. 🥥
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