I think once I am ready, I will write a horror book all about dysphoria. It will be full-on body horror.
Viceral. Violent. Vile.
And soon I can speak about it from the safe space of recovery. Draw horror from within without reminding myself of the reality I have lived in for 22 years.
The only time #Dysphoria doesn't rule me, is when I am sleeping. In my dreams my body is exactly as it should be, and I am free.
But you know what is fucked up? Dysphoria can make falling asleep harder, staying asleep harder as you move at night and your flesh adjusts, and worse your dysphoria is = more it can fuck with your sleep.
Dyphoria is a threat to overall PHYSICAL and MENTAL health and should be cared for accordingly as first priority medical care. Not cosmetic.
I have experienced many kinds of pain. Sudden sprains, almost losing a finger, loss of family members and friends, level 10 pain from severe migraines and infections, constant chronic pain from my internal organs being glued together by endometriosis...etc.
The worst pain of all however, in my entire life, is #Dysphoria. The mental and physical anquish is like constant torture that keeps on getting worse year by year, month by month, day by day...
I hope to have a good day today despite my awful dysphoria that makes me want to cry all the time now. The fear of not being able to afford my surgery before I turn 30 is really burning up my mental health, but who would give a loan bigger than 6 thousand to a disabled persons unable to hold a normal job?
My surgery will likely cost 7 thousand, or even 8.
I fear depression will take me if I need to wait any longer...and then they can decline me for it too.
If you haven't explored it already, have a look at TransActual's Mental Health and Wellbeing Hub for links to resources on self-care and mental health. You'll find them at https://transactual.org.uk/wellbeing/
"I have become more comfortable with myself, body and my identity. I have been able to show my true self to the world and I feel that I am closer to loving myself than I was pre-transition. I am on hormones and have had top surgery so physically my body is altered due to these things and emotionally I am a lot happier for it."
"Through my own identity as a trans man, and one of a race other than white, I really wanted to share my own experiences to show that everyone's on a different path. It's not an easy journey and I don't think it's ever really over. It can be emotionally draining, but it can also be really rewarding." Leo Sheng
Me: Okay! Time to go out.
Also Me: Nope. Can't. #Dysphoria.
Me: What are you talking about? We look perfectly fi…
Also Me: LOOK IN THE MIRROR!
Me: Oh. Oh, my! I had no idea. [Puts away jacket and shoes. Puts on cardigan.]
Earlier I watched Bjorn Ekeberg, Sabine Hossenfelder, and Rupert Sheldrake debate the nature of the universe. I've read books by Rupert and watched many of Sabine's videos, so that was great fun for me.
Here Sabine is talking about #trans youth, #gender#dysphoria, #medical#treatments for the same, and the quality of studies about exactly what is going on. She also expresses some opinions (she has many opinions, always), and welcomes comments, so here goes:
Two months ago I put my patreon money into a QR-Code sticker campaign for the #Gender#Dysphoria Bible because I felt guilty I was taking money from the #trans community when I'm financially secure.
Somehow my patreon income has nearly doubled since then, so clearly I need to spend more of this money.
I want to commission someone to make a better sticker design. The last one was deliberately obscure, this time I want something obvious.
Any graphic artists out there looking to make some cash?
I'm so tired of feeling like this. Honestly, I am. It's just taken so much energy out of me my entire life.
I've felt dysphoric for as long as I can remember. I certainly didn't know the proper word nor was I given any reliable way of expressing what I felt inside, but the fact remains that it's been there for most of my life. That awful feeling of just not being quite right, of everything being wrong, if not actively disliked. I don't hate my body. I just find it is wrong to a level so deep it is hard to even put words to it, especially when you're like me, on the autism spectrum and your mind keeps going round and round the database of words you've got and just not being able to choose a word to describe it. #dysphoria#nonbinary#transgender
Since it's #Pride month, I'll post a few of the major pieces I've written over the years around coming out, transitioning, finding identity, and other queer stuff.
"Dysphoria and Surviving It" is an attempt to describe what body dysphoria felt like for me. It was written during bottom surgery recovery while I could still remember that feeling, which soon after I no longer could.
(CW: gender dysphoria, medical transition, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, sexual violence – German translation linked in the article)
Hi, Mastodon! I am writing my thesis for my Master's in Social Work. Originally, I wanted to focus on butch women obtaining top surgery.
Now, I want to look at how the trans community navigates/negotiates/pressures the medical community into creating a more expansive view on gender and a less medicalized view of gender dysphoria. (ie, viewing dysphoria as a social problem, not psychological.)
Do you have sources? Do you know people who are involved?